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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

When I First Joined Mumsnet

38 replies

DoctorTwo · 07/10/2020 22:41

I was warned by some posters not to visit 4 sections: AIBU, as that was bunfight central, The Doghouse, as they were batshit, Style & Beauty, as it was a bitchfest, and FWR, because I'd get eaten alive. Being a contrary type I immediately clicked on FWR and started reading and nodding along. This would be late 2011 and Dittany was still posting. I thought she was great.

One of the first threads I started was in this section, and a lovely poster recommended I repost it in AIBU. So I did. Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt. The first few posts were supportive, but the following 900 or so handed me my arse. But, a positive: despite me pointing out my sex, most of the posters referred to me as 'she'. Which was weird.

Anyway, my point is I read this section most days, post only occasionally and this is the first thread I've started here in ages, and I just want to say thank you all for helping me learn about what feminism actually is and how I can teach myself how to be a better man. You're not scary, you rock.

Any typos are my own, my laptop doesn't have the auto whatever.

OP posts:

fakenina · 07/10/2020 23:02

always keep learning.

persistentwoman · 07/10/2020 23:23

What a nice post.

FFSFFSFFS · 07/10/2020 23:28

Highwind · 08/10/2020 00:24

There is a wealth of experience, intelligence and passion here that when channeled into a singular goal, is absolutely outstanding to behold.

I am in awe of the women on this board. I can only hope to be able to become as ‘difficult’ as possible too! Work in progress!

ginandbearit · 08/10/2020 01:31

Yes me too ..Dittany was around and I learned so much and had to reflect on so many things I took for granted as a man ..better educated now , thanks .

AgnesNaismith · 08/10/2020 01:43

CorianderLord · 08/10/2020 03:22

I don't really understand your point? You want other women to agree that women's are bitches?

In 2011 I was in secondary school - and yet you seem more concerned with others opinions

risefromyourgrave · 08/10/2020 07:12

FWIW, I have never experienced a ‘bitchfest’ on S&B, I find people on there supportive and willing to go out of their way to offer advice.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 08/10/2020 07:17

doctortwo didnt say he thought S&B was a bitchfest

He said he had been told by another poster that it was

Im now interested to Know whether he ever went on S&B 😀

LumpySpacedPrincess · 08/10/2020 07:25

I've been here for years too, learnt so much. I miss Dittany and many other posters. I am in awe of the women on here who are helping steer us through choppy waters.

Merename · 08/10/2020 07:29

I’m interested what it is you’ve learned that helped you be a better man? If that can be summarised after 9 years!

brendansbuddy · 08/10/2020 08:04

There's a sustained attempt to paint FWR as right-wing and transphobic when in fact it's a rare place that allows debate and expression of differing views and the airing of uncomfortable truths. It is rarely hateful and heavily-policed but those keen to close down debate and discussion of things like child safeguarding are all over it. It's impressive that it nonetheless prevails.

SophocIestheFox · 08/10/2020 08:15

You’ve not had the full experience until you’ve had your arse handed to you

It’s not scary here, and S&B isn’t either, but I still tend to bodyswerve both AIBU and the doghouse as they are both a bit...full on for me.

Original poster

DoctorTwo · 08/10/2020 08:53

You want other women to agree that women's are bitches?

I'm struggling to see just how you could leap a world record distance to get to that conclusion.

@RufustheSniggeringReindeer I've actually posted on two threads in S&B this week. :o

OP posts:

BletheringHeights · 08/10/2020 08:55

What happened to Dittany et al?

IdblowJonSnow · 08/10/2020 09:02

AIBU is my fave. I'm literally addicted to mumsnet. Yes there are a few bunfights and unpleasant characters, but generally the level of support, knowledge and humour is amazing.

ErrolTheDragon · 08/10/2020 09:06

Doghouse could at times legitimately be called a bitchfest, of course. Though usually it's equally a dogfest. (And now we could analyse the language, why 'dog' is both the generic and the male canine descriptor etc etc ....)

CaraDuneRedux · 08/10/2020 09:16

I find S&B quite soothing, personally. Which is strange given that I am "put together" in much the manner of a crumpled paper bag that's been in the passenger footwell of the car for several weeks. The doghouse is a bit full-on, though.

ThePankhurstConnection · 08/10/2020 09:58

@SophocIestheFox

You’ve not had the full experience until you’ve had your arse handed to you

It’s not scary here, and S&B isn’t either, but I still tend to bodyswerve both AIBU and the doghouse as they are both a bit...full on for me.

I agree with this.

I too have been around FWR for many years now and seen excellent posters come and go and I really have stayed on MN because of FWR, otherwise I wouldn't bother now (although I do lurk on the book section a fair bit). I have been ravaged on AIBU and deleted myself - I have more chill these days.

Never been to the Doghouse though as I have cats but now I'm curious ...

Malahaha · 08/10/2020 10:09

I was directed here by a poster on another forum, where I had stuck my neck out by saying I didn't want men in my toilets. I was immediately jumped on by just about everyone in the forum (where I had previously been a well-respected and popular poster).

One man sent me a pm to say he agreed with me, that his wife was on Mumsnet, and that I should go there. That was the place to be.
I still don't know which of you is his wife but I'm waving to French Bean's wife, hello there! (waves) Show yourself, if you want to.

I came in early 2018 and never looked back. I don't post on that other forum any more.

Malahaha · 08/10/2020 10:11

btw for almost a year I never even peeped into other forums. In the meantime I've followed a few AIBU and Relationships posts. Never Style and Beauty as that's not my thing.

Babdoc · 08/10/2020 10:22

CaraDuneRedux, I had to laugh at your lovely description! May I join you in the “paper bag in the footwell” school of fashion? It fits me perfectly!

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 08/10/2020 10:35

@DoctorTwo

You want other women to agree that women's are bitches?

I'm struggling to see just how you could leap a world record distance to get to that conclusion.

@RufustheSniggeringReindeer I've actually posted on two threads in S&B this week. :o

Have you?

Im afraid to look 🙂

S&B always seems very honest...i think id ask for advice but I wouldn’t start a ‘what do you think about this outfit‘ thread

4minutes33 · 08/10/2020 10:49

AIBU was the gateway drug for me as it is for so many. Now I mostly come to Mumsnet for WTF FWR: specifially, trans issues. I doubt I would’ve realised what a problem women have been having if it wasn’t for this board. I’ve been seriously impressed by some of the intellectual firepower brought to the ‘debates’ (in tongs because a proper debate needs good opponents, who are thin on the ground). It’s a good jumping off point to explore things further.

SophocIestheFox · 08/10/2020 11:07

S&B always seems very honest...i think id ask for advice but I wouldn’t start a ‘what do you think about this outfit‘ thread

God, no, that would be serving yourself up for a roasting 😱 you could be immaculate, and then someone would observe that your carpet hadn’t been hoovered in a fortnight, and that you seem a bit needy 😂 but generally, it’s interesting and mostly benign.

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