When I First Joined Mumsnet

[DoctorTwo]

I was warned by some posters not to visit 4 sections: AIBU, as that was bunfight central, The Doghouse, as they were batshit, Style & Beauty, as it was a bitchfest, and FWR, because I'd get eaten alive. Being a contrary type I immediately clicked on FWR and started reading and nodding along. This would be late 2011 and Dittany was still posting. I thought she was great.

One of the first threads I started was in this section, and a lovely poster recommended I repost it in AIBU. So I did. Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt. The first few posts were supportive, but the following 900 or so handed me my arse. But, a positive: despite me pointing out my sex, most of the posters referred to me as 'she'. Which was weird.

Anyway, my point is I read this section most days, post only occasionally and this is the first thread I've started here in ages, and I just want to say thank you all for helping me learn about what feminism actually is and how I can teach myself how to be a better man. You're not scary, you rock.

Any typos are my own, my laptop doesn't have the auto whatever.

you could be immaculate, and then someone would observe that your carpet hadn’t been hoovered in a fortnight, and that you seem a bit needy

I can imagine rejigging that for FWR - a genuine request for, say, help getting HR on board with some initiative to help women in the workplace, but OP makes the mistake of opening it with the phrase "Help needed, ladies..."

From what I've seen of s&b (I sometimes read an active thread in the small hours) there's often lots of nice tactful posts about outfits which look pretty dire, followed by helpful suggestions of good alternatives, and few 'are you mad? It's a frumpy sack with frills in a weird colour'.

For those of you with cats or who just love cats the Litter Tray is the best. I came for FWR but probably post more in TLT.

I like S&B too and find it very soothing. Particularly after reading a thread about stimulated still births and abortions which really mess, and women being harassed in communal showers being told to be nice. It can all be a bit too much, a discussion about the best foundation for menopausal skin is like a balm for the soul. 😊

@YetAnotherSpartacus

For those of you with cats or who just love cats the Litter Tray is the best. I came for FWR but probably post more in TLT.

Seconded. Everyone on the litter tray is lovely. My DCat got terminal cancer recently, then had to be PTS, and everyone was so nice.

There is nothing like the feeling of appreciation you get when you post on here to tell everyone what they want to hear.

I am a bit sad by the massive increase in trans related threads - we used to have some great non-trans feminist discussions and they aren't as visible now. As a result I post a lot less than I used to
OTOH at least there is less mra trolling

@QuentinWinters

I am a bit sad by the massive increase in trans related threads - we used to have some great non-trans feminist discussions and they aren't as visible now. As a result I post a lot less than I used to OTOH at least there is less mra trolling

I know they say correlation does not imply causation but....

@SophocIestheFox

You’ve not had the full experience until you’ve had your arse handed to you

It’s not scary here, and S&B isn’t either, but I still tend to bodyswerve both AIBU and the doghouse as they are both a bit...full on for me.

Quite. My first thread n here was AIBU, I think maybe 1 poster on about 300 replies agreed with me. It was..a shock to say the least. I actually stayed away for a few months before daring to post again after that. Its basically a MN rite of passage.

My first threads on here were probably innocuous parenting issues, but I certainly had my arse handed to me after my first post on FWR (a naive piece of whataboutery, iirc).

I haven't looked at S&B in ages as I've been on a no spending on clothes for the last course of years.

I tend to go to housekeeping and home decoration to get away from the intensity of this forum. Very calming.

AIBU - I only read if feeling robust.

Doghouse - I'm scared to venture in after what you all have said.

Doghouse is absolutely lovely and supportive when someone has a sick pet, or is facing up to having them PTS, or when they've died. It's fearsome for people who buy or breed dogs casually or treat them as accessories rather than sentient beings.

I got my ass handed to me on a plate on my first thread - happened to encounter one of those utterly horrible people who lurk online just looking to kick people when they're down. I was asking for advice on breast feeding. Got told I should have done an advance search because my question had been asked loads of times! (At the time I was a single parent without a computer of my own, stuck with 20 minutes at a time in the public library, which had to be carefully timed to coincide with DS's nap...)

Fortunately I found nicer people later.