The gender politics of food

[JellySlice]

A thread about the gender politics of chicken for dinner reminded me of a colleague who was organising a series of large business dinners hosted by our MD. My colleague would always order lamb for the men and chicken for the women. She was distraught one day when a male guest had to drop out at the last minute and sent his female colleague instead. My colleague genuinely believed that it was rude to serve men chicken, and that no woman would willingly eat lamb because it was too rich and heavy.

Is or was this kind of belief common? Man's food and woman's food?

No bull burgers from Iceland @JellySlice

I like the plain quarter pounders. They also do Chinese style ones and pulled pork but as a lifelong veggie I find the texture of them a bit much.

Apologies, meant to tag @NiceGerbil

Sorry Jelly!

DS loves the Linda McCartney pulled pork or mozzarella burgers.

Is this the one thing airlines (usually) get right - they generally serve the 'special requirements' meals first, to the customers who've requested them. And then if there's any extra veggie meals left they're available as an extra option for whoever's next served.
(We've quite often preordered veggie meals as they're more likely to be edible)

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander

DS loves the Linda McCartney pulled pork or mozzarella burgers.

We quite liked the Linda McC fake hoisin duck, but DH declared the mozzarella burgers to be the most disgusting thing he'd ever tried. The dog was happy enough with them.

Tbh I think 'fake meat' products are best avoided, better to do something chickpea curry or chilli or quiches that aren't pretending to be something they're not.

That's interesting! Most of the veggies I know love them, but everyone is different .
To be fair my ds is a fussy bugger and likes fake meat rather than lentils/chickpeas/ beans etc. He'd go hungry rather than eat any of them

Dh and I get the 'gendered food assumptions' thing when meals are served in restaurants quite often so I'm mostly used to that. I was surprised by mussels though. I thought they'd be seen a 'ladies' meal because they're shellfish but no, every time I order them they're given to dh

@NiceGerbil

Is drinking through a straw emasculating

Never at McDonald’s or Burger King. My teenage sons don’t feel emasculated at all while they devour their two—yes, two—large Big Mac meals, or sometimes just the one large Big Mac meal with a “cheeky” side of twenty ‘nugs’ and BBQ sauce.

Is that you Smithy?

Nessa was the same. She wasn't sharing her jamdani hash. I love her a lot.

The only times I have ordered a specific meal and somebody else has taken them because they fancied mine more, that person has been a woman. Incredibly entitled and selfish behaviour is not confined to men.

But there is no denying that a certain type of male is just unthinkingly selfish, and often enabled by the women in their lives. I actually wonder if the men who behave like this are also men that never shop for or cook a meal, and so have not concept of portion control or the effort that goes into a meal that is to be shared by many people. They don't ever go through the thought process of the caterer as to how much and what a reasonable person might eat, so don't think about it when filling their plates. (It's the same sort of bloke who turns up to a PTA event expecting to buy a bag of crisps with a £20 note and wipe out the float; or who is always late picking up their child from an evening group I run, because his time matters more than mine. They always look amazed when I call them on it).

The one man I know who behaves in the way described on this thread is my ex BIL and he is exactly the sort of entitled arse who just doesn't think of anyone else.

I come from a big family and I remember my mum doing big Christmas dinners at her house, and there would have been 20 of us. Everything was set in the middle and exBIL helped himself to four roast potatoes leaving other people with none. And repeat with all the other bits and pieces.

He was pulled up on it on occasions, and then he would actually laugh at our family and mock us and say that we were obsessed with counting things and we were so petty. Yeah, dickhead, we counted things because if there were 10 people and 10 chocolate biscuits that means one each, not three for you and two people going without.

Thank you for the burger recs! Will give them a go!

I went to a work do once at a smart hotel, that had provided a buffet. Nothing was labelled, so I couldn't tell for sure which things were vegetarian. I asked a passing waiter, who went in the back to check with the kitchen....and returned with a huge plate of veggie food just for me . Everyone was staying at it in awe and asking where I'd got it.

Is this the one thing airlines (usually) get right - they generally serve the 'special requirements' meals first, to the customers who've requested them.

In recent years, yes. However, long ago and more than once, they'd just walk down the aisle saying, "Who ordered a vegetarian meal?" Someone further up the plane who'd forgotten to order, or just fancied it, would get your meal and you'd be left with nothing.

Another time (also a few years ago) the stewardess said they didn't have a veggie meal for us and it was our fault for forgetting to order it, or if we had ordered it the order hadn't got through. I produced a fax from the airline confirming our meal choice, which shut her up, but still no food.

On a recent BA longhaul flight DD got veggie pasta for lunch, then for dinner it was pasta with a side salad of...pasta! Unbelievable.

I actually prefer not to expect food so I know to bring something.

I remember at my grandparents house when I was growing up - butter chocolate biscuits (dark chocolate digestives) and certain crisps were exclusively for the men - who ate on trays in front of the tv. Women and children had Stork SB and had to sit and eat in the kitchen.

( I sometimes buy the biscuits as a fuck you to the abusive bastard)

Not really food, but eating related... If I ask the bill, they will always put it in front of DH.. even if I’m holding my debit card when they approach the table.
It’s a joint account so it doesn’t really matter... I just like to do it to mess with them

I'm not vegetarian but trying to cut down on meat for environmental reasons, usually only eat meat 2 or 3 times a week. Not sure if that makes me entitled to the vegetarian meal at a buffet or not.

I did order steak at a restaurant when DH ordered chicken. Guess which plate the waiter put in front of me.

It is really annoying. Fortunately, as a member of a large family I now have sharp elbows. Having been to many business buffets, I've also learned to be quick.

I love Lamb.

Ha same here Jax!

@DuesToTheDirt
I once ordered a Diabetic breakfast on a plane. Instead of the tomato, egg, and bacon meal, I got.... 3 white rolls, butter, and jam! Never again.

I have never come across the idea of different meals for men and women. My granny used to make sure the men had bigger portions, but then men are bigger and need more food.

Absolutely fascinating stuff on this thread!

@NiceGerbil those are clearly meant for everyone. It's the mains that are annoying. I.e one meat lasagne and one vegetable - the meat eaters eat the vegetable even though that's been made for the veggies. Or halloumi burgers vs beef burgers (always one to bring out the battle)

I always enjoyed the credit card thing when out with my ex. To be fair, more often than not they would look to see who wanted it.
The veggie buffet thing is something organisers need to manage properly. What is reasonable to take totally depends on the type of food; I don't only eat meat! Also portions: inya large buffet no one can tell me that they are taking more than their 'share' (unless being greedy). It's not like it is when there are four of you round a dining table. Also four roast potatoes is an entirely reasonable number to eat!

Ah I don't do stuff like veg lasagne at the group things we do. There's no specific 'main' really just a load of hopefully nice food!

Agree you need to assume everyone will want halloumi not just the veggies! It's too nice. Also everyone will plough through hummus and whatever is being dunked in it

Also crisps.

I over cater like my mum does- great bowls full of stuff- and then enjoy leftovers for s week

If someone taking 4 roast potatoes means someone else goes without you need to make more potatoes! 4 is a perfectly normal number to eat.

The trouble with a buffet and a large number of people is its harder to work out how much is 'your portion'.