The gender politics of food

[JellySlice]

A thread about the gender politics of chicken for dinner reminded me of a colleague who was organising a series of large business dinners hosted by our MD. My colleague would always order lamb for the men and chicken for the women. She was distraught one day when a male guest had to drop out at the last minute and sent his female colleague instead. My colleague genuinely believed that it was rude to serve men chicken, and that no woman would willingly eat lamb because it was too rich and heavy.

Is or was this kind of belief common? Man's food and woman's food?

I recently went to a steak restaurant which had a salad with turkey and various other things actually called "lady's choice salad" (in English in a non English speaking country, but still). Those salads are sort of fools gold because they actually contain a serious amount of protein, and are possibly more calories than the smallest steak without chips, so it isn't based on objective nutritional requirements...

But if you go to a buffet and there is hardly any vegetarian food, why would you eat it knowing it’s going to leave the vegetarians with nothing to eat?

@Stripesgalore

Ime as over 20 years of being a veggie, people just dont think like that. They dont think "oh me taking this means this person will go hungry" they just amble along picking up whatever looks nice. If you point the fact out to them, then you can see the penny drop and theyre a bit like "oh yeah "

I agree it is a catering issue. There should be extra veggie options, not less.

@Stripesgalore

But if you go to a buffet and there is hardly any vegetarian food, why would you eat it knowing it’s going to leave the vegetarians with nothing to eat?

I don't. I hate it when the veggie food is undercatered though, I will only eat about half of what I actually want because I don't want a plate of meat.

This reminds me of the time I went to a wedding and I was struggling to find the veggie stuff in the evening buffet... Eventually I found a man sitting down and protectively hugging the ONLY TRAY of non-meat sandwiches. I'm guessing his logic was that he was vegan, the sandwiches were vegan, so they were naturally all for him.

My more assertive friend had to go and persuade him to relinquish a sandwich or two so that I could have something to eat. Crazy male (vegan) entitlement.

Interesting that so called 'meat eaters' are actually omnivores?

Well obviously they are omnivores. It would be bizarre if people were eating sandwiches entirely made of meat.

A bit of pork sandwiched between two slices of lamb.

I’m imagining the vegan guarding the sandwiches to be Gollum.

I was thinking yesterday, while brewing the good stuff, that growing I thought men drank coffee and women drank tea. Was true for my parents, their friends who came round to eat or drink, and all the parents of my friends. No a clue why.

I drink a lot of coffee, my dad got me into it, and tea with milk is filth though I drink some herbal ones.

I’m getting so much rage reading about these greedy, selfish pigmen

@Wearywithteens

Im craving buffet food picky bits now (ha i know people hate that term!!).. spring rolls, samosas, little sandwiches... yum!

@clevername

Im envisioning him literally hugging the black catering tray 😂!!

Speaking of those black catering trays, i worked in a large firm of solicitors, and they got a posh local caterers to provide trays of sandwiches, fruit & crisps for boardroom meetings. Whatever was leftover at the end of the meeting was left on top of a filing cabinet for us mere mortals to pick over. My colleague thought it was degrading & refused to partake. I did agree in theory ... but crisps win

It's just as bizarre to assume that omnivores would only want food containing some type of meat. I'm just as likely to order a chickpea burger in a restaurant as a chicken one. Cater properly and people can choose what they like.

@Stripesgalore

Yep, that there be me. Nothing or no one comes between me & my precious food!

Waves, I meant the vegan man at the wedding, but I am happy if you think you can be Gollum too!

Has anyone else experience of men who only seem to register their own appetites, and are oblivious to the differing needs of children?
I’ve noticed this a lot in my own family, and anecdotally among friends. On holidays, for instance, dh might eat a fry for breakfast and not be particularly hungry again until dinner time, and is quite obtuse about the dc’s need to eat earlier in the day.
He’s not at all mean, or unwilling to pull his weight in the kitchen, but it’s as if he cannot quite process the dissonance.
My dad, grandad and one of my uncles were similar. And my grand aunt, whose home life was very chaotic, used to advise feeding the men well when food was short as they wouldn’t notice that the women and children were making do with less.

I don't think people think about it, as most buffets are meaty and they can eat what they like, I don't think they even think about the fact that their choices could leave someone without anything. Not sure that's restricted to men though. I've found portions the main thing.

Salad is women's food. I went for lunch with DH, I ordered a panini and he ordered a salad. A different member of staff brought the food and without asking, put the salad in front of me and the sandwich for DH. She was surprised when we swapped them.

At my wedding, my mum insisted we had whisky for the men and sherry for the women. I think that would have been the first taste of sherry for most of the guests!

My sister often has steak while her DH has salad. Always given the wrong dishes when the food arrives.

@AnneLovesGilbert there might be an historic basis for that. The history of tea and coffee is quite gendered. Coffee was a public drinking experience, and coffee houses evolved into places to share business news, and in time into institutions like the stock exchange. Coffee is intrinsically bound up with the rise of patriarchy and the exclusion of women from circles of influence.
There’s a podcast discussing the history of coffee
Tea has a separate social history, and was a domestic beverage, and for a time a status symbol for women.

@Stripesgalore

Hehe i know but il take it too!

If it was a tray of vegan Yo Sushi i would go full on Gollum!!!!

[quote thelegohooverer]@AnneLovesGilbert there might be an historic basis for that. The history of tea and coffee is quite gendered. Coffee was a public drinking experience, and coffee houses evolved into places to share business news, and in time into institutions like the stock exchange. Coffee is intrinsically bound up with the rise of patriarchy and the exclusion of women from circles of influence.
There’s a podcast discussing the history of coffee
Tea has a separate social history, and was a domestic beverage, and for a time a status symbol for women.[/quote]
Which century was that though?

Aha this is my thread

Food and drinks are so incredibly gendered. And it's a thing that's so embedded that no one notices it, and lots of people cement it with comments.

Couple to get you started

Went to a restaurant with work. Posh and pricey. Ordered the same as the bloke next to me. Food came out and was put in front of us. Forks up. Owner rushes over and literally swaps my meal with the bloke next to me. Mine was bigger, he said no no! He must have the big one.

Bonkers. I was PMSL TBH. Everyone was aghast. He also kept referring to a couple of us as 'your wife' the the man we happened to be sitting next to!

I mean he was mad.

Things that happen all the time.

Woman orders Coke man diet Coke. Diet Coke put in front of woman. Ditto steak for the woman Vs not steak. Ditto a pint/ alcoholic beverage for her and a not pint/ soft drink for him.

Oh and he likes puddings I don't. They often say I'll bring an extra spoon hoho. I say no thanks. They bring one anyway. Because all women love desert apparently.

I have loads more!

To answer the question am I more senior than male graduate....I am his bosses, bosses, boss!!

I went into the office as a person was ill & to ensure that the grass got their equipment & all access for signing on from home.

I ordered sandwiches as there’s nothing open within a mile radius.

He knew I now had nothing to eat but didn’t care.

@JellySlice

A thread about the gender politics of chicken for dinner reminded me of a colleague who was organising a series of large business dinners hosted by our MD. My colleague would always order lamb for the men and chicken for the women. She was distraught one day when a male guest had to drop out at the last minute and sent his female colleague instead. My colleague genuinely believed that it was rude to serve men chicken, and that no woman would willingly eat lamb because it was too rich and heavy.

Is or was this kind of belief common? Man's food and woman's food?

I've heard of this sort of thing as a custom, but not anywhere recent. But even there it wasn't something that you'd be distraught over if somehow you had to serve a woman lamb. That sounds like a person who is unusually rigid, probably about many things.