Fair Cop dropping hints on Twitter

[teawamutu]

About something big about to happen to a red organisation beginning with 'S' that they won't like.

V unfair to vaguetweet IMO - anyone else seen it?

Yes, I feel the bible is a book I ought to have read. One could probably safely skip the begatting section, really. I think it moves on a bit after that.

(No spoilers, please!)

I grew up a Methodist, work hard, be charitable, which someone told me is how they see their Islam. I don’t really have a religion now, although I have always tried to live my life following the Sermon on the Mount.

When I visit my Catholic friend in Spain we go to Mass on a Sunday. Beautiful old church and even though the Mass is in Spanish I can usually follow what is happening. I do love a good Mass!

Don't start at the beginning of the Bible. Read some proverbs, they be entertaining. And Song of Songs/Solomon is rather cheeky if your romantic tastes run to lots and lots of metaphors.

My favourite has always been Jonah, (he of the whale) who gets sent to warn the Ninevites to repent or God would destroy them, and then has a tantrum at God when they do repent and God is merciful. So God makes a tree grow overnight, and then kills it, and Jonah is even more hopping mad at God because now God killed the tree Jonah quite liked, and God points out what a dick Jonah is being because he cares more about a dead tree than he would have done had God killed all the Ninevites.

I feel it says something fairly profound about humanity's bloody-minded idiocy.

I don't suppose you fancy doing a sort of 'digested read' version of the whole thing, or selected highlights, Floral? While we're waiting ...

Thanks for the tip re the whale and the tree-killing bit. I like whales. I'll have look and see if I've got one about here somewhere.

A bible, I mean. Not a whale.

I grew up a Catholic. No matter how much I've disagreed with that environment, what it gave me was a concrete identity that I could rebel against while at the same time use as a bulwark against other ideologies that would seek to tell me how to lead my life.

Even the begattings are quite interesting. The genealogies in Matthew and Luke are significantly different from one another and lead to/from Joseph ... who supposedly wasn't Jesus's actual father anyway. Matthew's version seems designed to align with prophecy and place Jesus in the lineage of David.

I need a penguin version!

Joseph ... who supposedly wasn't Jesus's actual father anyway.

I SAID NO SPOILERS!!!

I misunderstood and wondered how penguins would make a difference to a bible version. But now I understand, and feel foolish.

I'd go for the Ladybird version, tbh.

Well if it's got a whale in it, I can't see why penguins should be excluded.

I like the Apocrypha. I think it only appears in Catholic bibles but it has dragons & stuff.

I also like the idea of a bible with penguins.

In fact, even Penguin (should have use the capital P originally!) is too advanced. Scrimpshaw has got it right with Ladybird!

@DialSquare

I need a penguin version!

There were a couple in the ark weren't there? Had to walk all the way from Antarctica, poor buggers.

*Tinsel
*
Ah. That would explain the flat feet!

@DialSquare

*Tinsel * Ah. That would explain the flat feet!

Mind you TBF they could have swam some of the way. (Swum? Swimmed? Bloody peri menopause)

Swam? I keep saying that in my head and it sounds weird now!

Penguins are pretty hardcore swimmers aren’t they? You’d think they’d have had a fair chance of surviving the flood without having to go all the way to the ark.

@EmpressJKRowlingSpartacus

Penguins are pretty hardcore swimmers aren’t they? You’d think they’d have had a fair chance of surviving the flood without having to go all the way to the ark.

They wouldn't have wanted to be left out.

They wouldn't have wanted to be left out.

“OK, we need representatives on this ark. Betty & Fred, you go & we’ll all wave as it goes past.”

Maybe the penguins just hung out on icebergs until the floods receded?

They wouldn't have wanted to be left out.

They would if the seals were on board.

@ErrolTheDragon

Maybe the penguins just hung out on icebergs until the floods receded?

Waiting to be picked up.

They would if the seals were on board.

That’s the other thing I was thinking about. Did they take ready-killed food for the carnivores / pescatarians? Or were some of the animals told they were being saved, but actually there to be eaten? And that lie would NEVER have worked on the fish.

@ErrolTheDragon

They wouldn't have wanted to be left out.

They would if the seals were on board.

I'm not a biblical expert (you'll be surprised to hear) but I wonder if Noah and his family (sons: Ham, Shem and Japheth I recall from Sunday school) had to spend a lots of time stopping the animals from eating each other or if God took care of that?