Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

[IronPyrites]

OK so I am talking about consensual adult sexuality only.

I think there is a feeling, imo an incorrect one, but still a feeling, among many straight men that feminism wants to impose celibacy on all straight men, and hates and derides any expression of male sexuality.
Now, while I think this is unfounded, I wonder sometimes if there is any mileage in perhaps showing some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general, and perhaps even that the pain of sexual or romantic frustration is no less real (and perhaps heightened by societal expectations of the straight male stud) for this group of people than anyone else. I have nothing but contempt for the so-called incels who clearly despise and feel entitled to women, and for men who express disdain for and behave badly to women in other ways, but I do think it may do some good to counter the message that you sometimes hear that feminism is anti-men, and showing that there is probably a societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general. I hope you understand what I mean.

Adult koalas are quite scary so one big enough to lift a Hemsworth wouldn't be OK by me.

Koalas are actually quite scary animals. Chris is brave to have held one.

Help!

What did you talk about in FWR today?

Giant koalas attacking Chris Hemsworth. Natch.

And the day before it was whether children are pies.

Perhaps for Chris Hemsworth to truly appear non dominant the koala would have to be holding Chris?

It's a very silly place.

from a weird OP this has become a really interesting thread.

@BigGee I'm sorry about your FIL that must be really scary.

There's been some great comments, I tell DS he is my pudding, but he thinks I'm a fruitcake!

Way back in the days when I was on Twitter to MRAs always used to pull out 50 Shades of Grey when women would take exception to things like rape porn on Pornhub, whether it was real or acted who knows? Or some really disturbing ad campaigns. The one that I remember was for a watch company I think which displayed a man's had around a womans throat complete with huge blingy watch which was eventually pulled because of the uproar.

Someone upthread, sorry I can't remember who put it best. our socialisation is damaging our deelopment and our sexuality.

Koalas are rapey bastards, I've been told by a friend who used to look after them.

• I googled it and not found much on the rapeishness of koalas or otherwise. Although they do have forked penises.

HOWEVER, while you're here, has anyone seen leopard slugs mating? Seeing as it's Friday night:

Well, here's the thing. If you are looking for something known as 'fun feminism', you might want to read or listen to some Caitlin Moran. She's very charismatic and tries really hard to make feminism inclusive and non-threatening, a bit like a panto character or comedian who carries a political message. She values 2nd wave feminism, but doesn't really relate to the stern, finger waving image.

Whilst I think your observations are interesting, I think women are pretty tired of having to adopt the 'right tone', to make a feminism that is smiley, sexy, 'sex positive' (which to me sounds like someone who doesn't want to seem uncool in front of the guys) and to be seen as handing out cookies to the men folk who think they're a bit too intimidating.

Women who don't like porn, don't agree with it or are fed up with sexual harassment are seen as frumpy, negative bitches that need to lighten up. Some men are apparently terrified that they can't flirt at work. I'm sure the world has caved in on those poor souls, whereas they really have nothing to worry about.

What women don't want OP, is to go to a restaurant or bar with their friend, and suddenly a drunk guy doesn't try to lick their neck when they're waiting at the bar to be served. They don't want their boss suggestion that they're a naughty girl and that maybe they can discuss a payrise over dinner when their male colleagues get to just have a normal meeting about it. They don't want to be called princess or be spoken to like a child when they're trying to discuss a serious problem with their doctor or dentist. They don't want to have to switch seats on a train carriage when the guy sat opposite them has been staring right at them and their breasts without looking away for the last 20 mins. They don't want to have to deal with men who is known to masturbate in front of female staff to a particular fetish (been in that particular situation myself). They don't want to be a woman in their early or mid 20s talking to a total stranger on the phone in his 50s who is clearly steering the conversation in a personal, sexual direction thinking a call centre is a sex line. They want to get on the bus as a teenager on not be terrified as a man who is her dad's age starts reaching out for her thigh whilst he breathes heavily.

And this is seen by some men as women expecting them to be celibate. Dear oh dear. Bring the violins.

Call me whatever you like (Floral usually works) but my feminism has fuck all to do with cossetting the cultural norms associated with heterosexual male sexuality. No shits wasted if any given man never has an orgasm again, actually.

drdavidbanner thank you. He seems to be indestructable as a dreadful fall and lying on the floor for hours seems to have resulted in bashes and bruises and an acknowledgement finally that yes, perhaps he needs a bit of help. We thought broken hip for sure, but nope. The man is bomb proof, despite advanced Parkinson's. Thanks x

Look like giant teddy bears but will claw the living shit out of you! Koalas are confusing.

(Actually Chris was more than usually appealing to me in Ghostbusters too, which I suppose proves the earlier point about men and humor. Defuses the "bloody hell he's gigantic" a bit.)

I hope your FIL is doing OK, BigGee. Falls are scary after a certain age, and I'd be deeply unimpressed by any man who attempted to maintain a sexily dominant and aloof persona in the circumstances.

I think women are pretty tired of having to adopt the 'right tone', to make a feminism that is smiley, sexy, 'sex positive' (which to me sounds like someone who doesn't want to seem uncool in front of the guys) and to be seen as handing out cookies to the men folk who think they're a bit too intimidating.

This.

Women are not supposed to be themselves in front of men, because it's too much/off putting for men when they are. But they're supposed to support and encourage men to let it all hang out. And expecting men to treat women like decent, equal human beings equates to poor males being scared to breathe.

Poor little fragile sausages.

I don't get the big hulking man Chris Hemsworth thing, but I will say Thor is hilarious, and actually the one moment where I might 'get it' is the bit in Endgame (spoilers) where he has a tender, vulnerable heart to heart with his mum and realizes he's spent his life trying to be big macho ego leader man, and he's not actually much cop at it and decides to be himself, rather than 'who he is supposed to be'. And then he goes and helps save the universe.

My friend has never farted in front of her husband of 25 years as he'd find that unladylike. He's a humourless bastard. Thank god mine finds it funny, as I'm not capable of being a laydee....

FIL seems to be okay, but he'll be in hospital for a week at least. Thanks.

Oh, and passes on the leader mantle to Valkyrie, a woman, because she's much better at it.

Thats good to hear BigGee its so scary when we realise our parents are not indestructable.

Kittens have you ever seen Chris Hemsworth on SNL? I love a man who doesn't take himself too seriously.

He is funny! Still too much of a giant for me, but I can see how he'd appeal to women who're OK with that. Whereas if he acted the way people promoting the "you want to submit to a dominant man" line would prefer I'd be completely baffled as to what anyone might see in him.

@Michelleoftheresistance I agree.

I feel mixed about it because I do think that charm and persuasion goes a long way to get a point across, amongst other things, but the other half me gets annoyed because of the historical link with women being expected to be appeasing, friendly and non-threatening. I like Bindel for that reason.

You usually get a sort of stab-proof vest to put on before you hold a koala, after a young naval rating visiting a wildlife park from a visiting RN ship had her entire nipple bitten OFF by a koala.

blimey

Koalas: not as nice as they look

Koalas: only marginally less difficult to deal with that the people who get cross when you still call them Koala bears.