My daughter just told me I am a bad feminist.

[Duffmcstockings]

I am not intersectional enough.

yikes! sounds painful - what does it mean?

How old is your daughter?

Join the club.

Here's an extract from a discussion about how women are ruled by their biology (and DD has rotten periods and should know what I mean):

"I’m not denying that and if I’m honest I do find it difficult that men get to be women without experiencing periods for example. But, to be an intersectional feminist, to fight for equality of sex, race, abilities, ethnicities, sexualities, classes, etc., I have to support trans rights too because, as I said before, if I validate oppression of one group, I validate oppression of any other group."

We have an uneasy truce.
I'm meant to be celebrating her graduation with an excellent degree but what's the point of a degree in statistics, and approving of Caroline Criado Perez "Invisible Women" if you are happy for statistics relating to women to include men?

I'm assuming she means you aren't including male people in your feminism?

She says I am not intersectional. But I just think she means I don't think TWAW.

Why would your feminism intersect with penis?

Ask her to define what a woman is.

Feminism doesn’t include men. She isn’t a feminist at all.

Ha! Cross posts. We mostly agree to come back in 10 years and see who is on the wrong side of history (her story) but every now and then we have to lance the boil.

That's OK, my son told me Mumsnet is toxic.

I told him to stop policing my internet use, and to show more respect :)

She is 18. I cannot ask her to define what a woman is because it gets sticky.

Yes! Evil den of transphobes. 🤷‍♀️.

I imagine she's young. With the arrogance of youth who think they are the only ones to ever fight for freedom and equality.

It's typical to dismiss the older generation as bigoted, failing or not as cool and aware as you are. I think I did the same to my mother, who had a professional career and fought for women's rights throughout the 1960s and 70s when they certainly had less rights than my generation did.

Ah. A teenager. With all the life experience and judginess of one..

Imho intersectional feminism is the equivalent of men pissing into a glass of pure spring water and telling women to drink it because it's good for them.

Everyone knows the glass of water is better without the piss in it but some people are happy to drink it if they get a round of applause for doing so.

DeRigueurMortis
I may have to quote you!

Feel free

She’s 18, she’ll grow up.

It's extremely difficult to express the view that TWANW, for a middle aged woman with a very successful career, for an 18 year old at uni I imagine it is impossible.

@Duffmcstockings

She says I am not intersectional. But I just think she means I don't think TWAW.

Tell her to read Kimberly Crenshaw's original article. I don't think intersectionality means quite what she thinks it means (channelling my inner Inigo Montoya).

It doesn't mean "be nice to everyone", or "fight for all oppressed groups at once, or what you're doing is pointless", or "oppression top trumps", or any of the other bastardised versions the woke generation take it to mean (including "accept TWAW or I won't let you count yourself a feminist"). It has a quite technical meaning in sociology meaning people can be oppressed along more than one axis at once, and it's possible for the oppressor class to use this to game the system to make sure people drop through the gaps.

Crenshaw's original example was a discrimination case in a Detroit motor factory, where a group of black women tried to establish that they were being denied jobs because they were black women. The case failed because the employer argued that they didn't discriminate against black people (because they had black men on the factory floor) or against women (because they had white women in the factory offices).

I really don't think it's worth getting into a big fight with your DD - I say that as a Mum and SM.
I can still just about remember being 16 and knowing everything.
This is real and true for her, right here, right now. Even if us older women know there's more to learn and unravel.
I think the progression of thinking around feminism does require lived experience and that you do only get with time.
Like so much in life, some lessons you have to learn for yourself.

My 12 year old dd thinks im a man hater

When I was that age I studied sociology and hated my feminist teacher who didn't GET that feminists had won! I was of course liberal feminist. Because we had everything! If anything with maternity leave etc we were on top!!! She droned on and on about double whammy workload, wife work, and even worse the male gaze! No such thing said I! I dress this way becaise I WANT to and I'm EMPOWERED! My friends and I often discussed it, and how ridiculous she was .

Yeah. Then I grew up and died inside at how I treated that brave women trying to teach a class full of teenage girls and getting nothing but female chauvinistic pigs baying back at her.

''If your intersectionality is not woman centered then it isnt feminism''.
Ninotchka Rosca.

Ah do you get the “look”? Remember when you were a —self righteous know it all— young person and an older person started saying what you thought was shite but you were too polite to say anything, so you’d look at your friend with “the look”? I got that from dd and ds last week. I love retweeting feminist stuff at them and the wilder reaches of tra la land just to wind them up. They know if they say anything they will be given extra reading.

It's tragic isn't it. DS spent an hour watching the erudite and interesting professor Mary Beard last night and when it finished said wasn't she canceled for saying something transphobic.

Poor Mary, she gets through the 60s, 80s, and 90s being held back and discriminated against by her male peers and now a bit of success and she's canceled 5 minutes later by the pathetically woke for having an opinion on what a female is.

Older women really are despised.