I used to think Mumsnet was very transphobic. I have a trans colleague and it doesn’t bother me that she uses the women’s toilets. I don’t believe for a moment that she transitioned more then 15 years ago in order to “perve on women in the toilets”, as someone on here once put it. I’m careful to use my colleague’s preferred name and pronouns, out of common courtesy.
In the 90s, I read several articles featuring male cross dressers and often, their female partners. All of the cross dressers had the same message. They were not transsexual and did not want to transition. They were heterosexual and most of them were happily married to a woman (yes, I know that gay cross dressers also exist). They all said that they dressed in woman’s clothes from time to time because it made them feel good.
It was Mumsnet that made me realise that the message had changed. It wasn’t just people with gender dysphoria who were trans. Cross dressers were also trans. And all trans women were women, including those such as Debbie Hayton who believe it isn’t possible to change sex. I saw a man arguing with Debbie Hayton on Twitter the other day, saying he had no respect for her work and would continue to fight for her rights. A rather strange example of mansplaining.
I know that some people have gender dysphoria, that this is very painful, and I strongly believe that these people deserve support and understanding.
I still believe that most trans people are no threat to anyone and just want to get on with their lives in peace. But I’ve also seen many trans rights activists threaten any woman who disagrees with them online. I’ve seen rape threats (one aimed at a 15-year-old girl), and various threats of violence “punch a TERF day”, “kill a TERF”. I’ve seen intimidating photos of people looming over the camera with raised baseball bats (supposedly a TERF’s “point of view”). Not to mention the male-bodied person who showed a worrying interest in adolescent girls, and hoped that that when they went into a women’s changing room, they would see women “with their tits hanging out”. And another male-bodied person who boasted about masturbating in women’s toilets to get back at TERFS.
I agree that trans people may not always be safe or comfortable in the toilets and changing rooms corresponding with their genetic sex, and II think society has a duty to protect them. But I think the best solution is for them to have their own safe spaces, so that women and girls don’t feel frightened or uncomfortable either.
I don’t believe that biological sex is irrelevant or something we shouldn’t be allowed to discuss. I don’t agree that male sex offenders should be able to self-identify into women’s prisons, or that trans women should be able to compete in women’s sports (both are happening now). I don’t agree with the circular logic that anyone who says they are a woman has always been one, regardless of their biology. So what is a woman then?