I agree completely about the derail.
The "debate" has been structured starting with the assumption that Self-ID should enable automatic access to single sex spaces, even those spaces designed for the most vulnerable.
Then any push-back is labelled as Phobic of "right wing", and requiring women to justify their actions. Then to top it all Stonewall lobbying used a #nodebate tactic. As in, our position is some obviously correct, we refuse to engage with other groups in society.
The societal debate should start where society left it, with the original GRA and Equalities Acts. Are there problems, what are these, how might they be remedied. A diversity of groups should have been consulted, representing women and also a range of religious interests. (Why do we tiptoe around religious communities in places like Rotherham even when there are clear and significant safeguarding breaches, but ignore the same groups when we are talking about dignity and privacy and their ability to participate in a wider society.) Instead consultation was mainly with LGBT groups and essentially about ensuring men who had a female gender identity feel comfortable and valued. Very little about Transmen. Very little about the medical and scientific facts. ROGD teenagers and Intersex people seemed to be used simply as Gotchas to win arguments.
And posters here do the same.
I am, like most of us, a constructive member of our society. I pay taxes and don't break the law. In return our democracy decrees I am entitled to a voice.
Over the past decade I have been increasingly frustrated by the capture of the high moral group by Momentum types who know they are right, and the rest of us are not only wrong but apparently evil. I speak four European languages, and have genuine doubts about the future of the EU. That means I can be called racist (by someone who thought South Korea was in the EU no less!) I am wicked for sending my children to private school, complaints led by someone who rented in a better catchment thus taking a place from someone else, despite having the family wealth to easily pay fees. It was even apparently right that DS failed to even get a Skype interview for a public sector graduate job even though he had a distinction in a well regarded and relevant technical Masters, was waitlisted for a position with the American equivalent and has received full funding for a PhD at a top 10 US University, as white people need to atone for colonialism.
I kid you not, though I don't actually think my Irish forebears played a
(big role. DS was filtered out via an initial questionnaire asking whether he "strongly agreed" or "strongly disagreed" to a bunch of odd assertions. As an apolitical statistician his preferred answer would probably have been "show me the data first". I fear our modern Civil Service probably prefers people who start of with the "right" views.)
I am heartily sick of being wrong, even wicked, at every turn, despite being exhausted after a decade of being club sandwiched between teenage children, needy elderly parents and a full time job. And now I am told that my views don't count when decisions are made that affect me about allowing men to self ID onto female hospital wards, or causing young people to have to face gender neutral toilets in nightclub venues, or, worst of all, seeing a couple of mothers worried sick and without support when their DC suddenly announce they are "trans". And equally that I am not allowed a voice when decisions are being made to overturn protections for the most vulnerable.
I don't like Boris and think Cummings is very odd indeed. However I am glad that someone has recognised that the Red Wall, Jews, women, people like me, are all sick of being insulted and ignored.
I don't know why some posters seem to feel the need to derail discussion between women, rather than simply contribute their views. It implies a level of arrogance. I wonder what they think they are achieving.
So OP you have your evidence. We all need to feel confident enough to express reasonable views, and be willing to listen to the views of others. If your friend cannot do that, you need to think carefully about whether you are prepared to allow her to silence you. I promise sooner or later you will get sick of this.
Ditto politicians. Cummings was predictable. As probably was Trump, and indeed the current riots. And sadly I think that recent antics have eroded support for the almost 5,000 who have GRCs and for LGBs. I accept that gender dysphoria exists and am happy to support the right for people to live with respect and dignity. Unfortunately too many have jumped onto the bandwagon, and tried to exploit existing provisions for their own ends. Again a swingback is probably inevitable.
Plenty of people will argue that this issue is about safeguarding. I would argue that it is more fundamental than that. It about free speech. Freedom of expression and opinion. On campuses, in the Civil Service, in the media, in the workplace, in society. Then we have the freedom to start talking about safeguarding and the rights that women need.
Go, OP, go!