'Mother is a social construct'

[Teateaandmoretea]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/mar/04/transgender-man-appeals-decision-not-to-be-named-father?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other

Discuss

My first reaction is that a mother is a woman who has given birth to a baby (whether or not the baby lives) OR a woman who has adopted a child and brings them up as their own.

That is not social construct to me.

There’s the biological mother- literally a woman who has given birth. They do not always follow the social norms for a ‘mother’ eg: parenthood. Caregiving etc

Thus our understanding of what it is to be a mother is a social construct with variations throughout time and geography.

Social constructs are based on norms though, and a transgender parent is a small enough % that it would not constitute a norm.

Hey Mumsnet !!! Mothering is a social construct. It’s just crackers isn’t it.

Mother is not a social construct, it's the female parent of an offspring. Parenting as a verb can be done by people other than the biological parents, and for the sake of clarity and the child's identity we refer to the legal female parent as mother even if they aren't actually the mother. That doesn't make 'mother' a social construct.

Who knew pushing a baby out of your vagina was just a social construct? Does that explain why it was so painful?

A mother has multiple meanings, there is a birth mother, who is not necessarily the biological mother in the case of egg donation, a biological mother who may not give birth to the child in the case of surrogacy or egg donation and mother in the broad sense of the word, meaning the female person who raises and is responsible for the child. Legally, on a birth certificate only the woman who gives birth to the child can be registered as the mother, regardless of biology, however, fathers can be registered on a birth certificate regardless of whether they are the biological father. As a same sex couple who plan on using an anonymous sperm donor through a clinic, I would be registered as the “other parent” rather than the “other mother” whereas men whose partners use sperm donors are registered as legal fathers, this is something I personally find to be unfair, so I have mixed feelings about the legal side of this tbh.

Why do men get to be legal fathers of children that are not biologically their own, but women can’t be legal mothers of such children and are called “other parents” instead? Is this not inherently sexist against women? Sorry for going off on a tangent and not really answering your question, but it’s an issue close to my heart.

But isn't "father" the social construct that they want to adopt? But based on their wanting to have a male body. Ie based on biology.

Um.

Poor kid. A fucked up start to life. Narcissism at it's most lethal.

maybe the birth certificate itself needs changing to state “biological mother”.

Then there’s no arguments about what that means.

But to suggest that a mother is simply the parent who wears a dress (to put it crudely to make a point) is completely outrageous.

Carrying my child and birthing my child was not a fucking social construct.

Well everything is a fucking social construct nowadays.
Air is a social construct.
Babies are a social construct.

Who knew pushing a baby out of your vagina was just a social construct?

Yep that sums it up in one neat sentence to me.

Who knew pushing a baby out of your vagina was just a social construct? Does that explain why it was so painful?

That’d be the hard consonants catching on your bits.

"Mother" is a social construct because it is a word with social and cultural meaning in the majority of human societies. This then gives it a legal definition.

The alternative is to call the trans-man "parent who gave birth". Most people in the majority of human societies would then regard that parent as the "mother" so the trans-man is fighting a social and cultural battle that cannot be won.

Is being pregnant a social construct too?

'Is this not inherently sexist against women?'

Actually you are missing here a key aspect related to female biology. Because (apart from royal warming pans and all that malarkey), the physical acts of pregnancy and birth means that throughout the history of man (I use that term advisedly!), it was always clear who the mother of a child was, but always hidden who the father was. From a evolutionary point of view, that could be in a sense why males strove so hard to control 'their' females, because they never could be quite sure that it was their genes being propagated. And then we have the enormous, continent-wide difference between what a man has to invest in a pregnancy, and what the mother has to invest. Forget about elite athletes, being at the peak of human performance is something all pregnant women do, and only women.

Looking at who wants to disguise/trivialise/hide this unique aspect of female biology can be very instructive.................

Mother" is a social construct because it is a word with social and cultural meaning in the majority of human societies. This then gives it a legal definition

Mother is a social construct based on a very clear biological process.

It’s a bit different to saying a woman is someone who wears a dress because they have female reproductive organs (which is clearly nonsense).

Birth cert is a record of fact.

This person birthed that person.

The only people who can birth are women.

The name for women who have given birth is 'mother'. It is not 'father'.

Freddie can be a mother who choses to see Freddie's self as a father, and Freddie can compel Freddie's child to see Freddie as their father, and Freddie can present Freddie's self as their child's father - but Freddie is the child's mother, and should be recorded as such on the CHILD's birth cert - that info belongs to the child, not the parent, and the child deserves accurate info on their birth cert.

Whether or not 'mothering' is surrounded by sexist assumptions is a whole other question, and irrelevant to the issue of a child's documentation.

@SomeDyke I do understand this, I suppose I just take issue with being called “other parent” when in identical circumstances a man would just be called “father”. I’m not trying to take away from women giving birth and I plan to also give birth to a child myself in the future, I would just prefer to be called other mother or second mother etc. but I don’t get the luxury of being called a mother in this situation despite being the legal female parent of my child. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter, it’s just something that irks me a bit.

Just when you think TRAs have run out of women’s stuff to colonise.

Who knew pushing a baby out of your vagina was just a social construct?

Hey! Those of us that had the little blighters pulled through a surgical wound in the abdomen aren’t a social construct either! 😅

Seriously, this whole thing makes repealing the GRA entirely the sensible, logical conclusion.

@Iggly not all women who are mothers give birth to their children.

Regardless this is a social and cultural battle the trans-man won't win especially in this society.

I mean if the trans-man turns up at the school gate and admits to giving birth, how many other parents will presume the trans-man is the "mother" in the family?

'Mother' is a social construct - okay.

That doesn't mean it isn't also a biological reality for every single child that has ever been born.

The unspoken word in here that is implied but not added is: 'Mother is only a social construct. That is entirely nonsense. Mother may be many things. It's a word with six letters, it's a noun, etc.

The word/idea of mother being these things doesn't have any bearing at all on the facts - humans are a dimorphic species and mothers are females that gestate and give birth to young.

@ColaFreezePop

Yes you have biological and adoptive mothers for example.

So perhaps the birth certificate should state biological mother instead.

Personally I think that our biological differences are incredibly important and in this rush to sweep away gender boundaries, this is being forgotten.

not all women who are mothers give birth to their children

All babies are birthed by mothers. Some babies are raised by mother figures, adopted mothers, step mothers or their female commissioning parent (who may also be the biological mother).

But every single human came out of a mother.

Linguistically the verbs are interesting:

To mother = a set of social behaviours which could be performed by anyone but is gendered (I.e. a father who mothers his child is one who coddles or fusses over it with the implication coddling and fussing is something women do.

To father = to inseminate or be a biological father (a mother who fathered her child only makes sense from point of view of a transwoman)

To parent = not gendered per say but has connotations of performing the slog of parenthood (e.g. the stay-at-home father parents more than his partner and performs the bulk of the parenting)

Why someone has to make their psychological problems society's problem is beyond me but if being called mum is damaging to their mental health how the hell did they cope with pregnancy?
This all screams social experiment to me and the child is just collateral.....again.