Called a ‘girl’ at work...

[Annoyed94]

NC as I did talk about it at work...

Will start off by saying that I’m a young female working in a semi senior technical role for a large organisation, wouldn’t be described at the “typical” type of person expected to work in this type of role.

Been involved on a project at work all via Skype type meetings with an external company and there have been absolutely no issues.

Recently attended a presentation for the above project and introduced myself to the two leads from the external company and was met with surprise and slight shock that I was the person they had been talking with via Skype.

Now to today... a meeting was scheduled via Skype so I dialled in with my microphone on mute so it wasn’t completely obviously that I had joined. Just as I joined the meeting I overheard the following sentence... ‘is the girl from xx department joining’. I then unmuted and joined, meeting carried on as usual.

When it had ended I realised how angry I was about being referred to as a girl! They clearly know my name, and i find it so so derogatory to be called a girl instead of a woman when I’m 26 years old, know my job and am the department lead on this for that very reason. I at least deserve the respect of a name!

I don’t know why I’m posting really I am just so angry!

Hey I'm 30 years older than you (nearly) and a very senior PA, but at one recent interview the executive said he 'wanted a girl sitting outside his door' and referred to the 'girls' in HR and the 'girls' in Finance. I turned him down, the dinosaur 😡

YABU. Its just a small and really insignificant thing. I forget the names of younger, newer colleagues all the time and have referred to the younger ones as girls or young ladies...It just happens without thinking about it I never mean anything insulting by that but compared to me they are very young.

It's a small thing. YABU.

YANBU. I was once referred to as ‘the girlie’ at work, many years ago, but I've never forgotten it.
It still makes me furious with myself that i let the tosser get away with it. I wouldn’t now! (even though i have long left girlie territory behind.)

You could think about that a bit more perhaps Richele before you dismiss the OP's feelings so easily.
Is it so hard to say woman/ use a name?
Sheesh.

@richele4 While I see your point there are 6 regular, and not new, people on the project and they have had no previous problems using my name. I’m sure you don’t mean anything rude by it but it can come across incredibly patronising and disrespectful for people who have worked hard to get their job that their name isn’t worth remembering or using. I wouldn’t ever refer to a younger male colleague as a boy.

@ScapaFlo Eugh. That’s disgusting. Women aren’t decorations for his office

I'm 36, in a senior role for a company I have worked at for several years. While talking to one of the directors the other week he said 'you are a clever girl aren't you'. It felt very patronising!

My colleague and I got referred to as the girls by my old manager, we’re both highly educated women. We quickly got promoted to the same level as him and he refused to speak to us!

Choose your battles, I occasionally get called a good girl at work,. I'm 42! I work as a supervisor in a restaurant I just smile at the customer, do my job and then roll my eyes as I walk away!
Really not worth getting my knickers in a twist over it.

If they couldn't remember your name at the time they could have simply referred to you as ' thingy from xxx' instead. Better than the girl.

Customers is different to colleagues I would say.

Our office the pa and office manager get referred to as 'the girls' by quite a few of the men,while women in other roles get names.

So that's telling.

Seriously I I work with mostly women as I work in childcare we always say the girls at work, I understand that in a male dominated environment you want to be taken seriously but I think you need to choose your battles.

A lot of the time these days I see people use it as the equivalent of "guy" for a female person, and in the same contexts. That sounds to me like it describes your situation. I don't tend to see that as something to worry about too much, even if it's not your preference.

I think it reflects a tendency to less formal language in professional workplaces. I've noticed that as older people are retiring out of organisations more and more, language habits that I think of as belonging to young" people are beginning to dominate at levels where they seem a little out of place to me.

@richele4

Its just a small and really insignificant thing.

It may be small but it's not insignificant. You don't tend to hear men, young or otherwise, referred to as boys. This type of everyday sexism is what makes life difficult for women in the workplace.

Forgetting names is fair enough but why would you not refer to them as women, given they are presumably over the age of 18?

In my experience it's not just young people who have the habit of referring to female colleagues as girls!

It is invariably men though

You should have announced your presence by saying "Hi Boys".

Seriously though - I totally get why you are cross. I always challenge people who say 'girls' at work. I just politely ask people not to do it and refer to people as women or colleagues.

I have a female older than me colleague who always comes in and says good morning children, I absolutely hate it. I am 45!!!

You don't tend to hear men, young or otherwise, referred to as boys.

I think this is quite variable really. You do in some sectors, particularly when referring to a group. As in "let's take these plans to the boys down in engineering and see what they think".

The main thing I have noticed with girls, boys, or guys is that they are usually used to refer to people who are peers or lower in the work hierarchy. (Although there are "the boys upstairs" or the old boys club, so maybe I am wrong.)

@richele4 if the op was male would you think it was acceptable for them to say “is that boy from xx department joining?”

I just cant get my head round how someone could have the time to be offended by this.

I'm female. I refer to myself as a girl. Colleagues (majority female) refer to ourselves as "the girls" ("going for lunch with the girls from work") - honestly, are there not more important things to stress about?

It is invariably men though

You must never have worked in the typing pool!

I think you're being pretty unreasonable. People love to get offended over anything these days. I refer to my friends as girls and we are mid to late 30s. No problem at all.

That's why I said in my experience, goosefoot.

Drinks with girls
Girls night out.
Lads Holiday.

Are these all offensive too?

Yes! Why would you call a woman a girl? Or accept others calling you a girl when you're over 40. I find it odd and sometimes offensive depending on the speaker! Woman/women isn't offensive so why not use it?