This hits me really hard because if I was unfortunate enough to be a child today this could be me.
I was a tomboy. I was bullied relentlessly ostracised and constantly told by not only my peers but also teachers and other parents ‘oh you should have been a boy’. I was suicidal, miserable, depressed. I remember for years wishing I could be a boy, hoping never to have boobs or periods and crying every night about it. I remember having as asthma attack once and being so happy the paramedics mistook me for a boy.
But I did not want to be a boy because I didn’t like my genitals. I wanted to be a boy due to the gender expectations of society, people made me feel like being female and liking riding my bike, shooting air rifles, reading comic books, watching action movies, playing video games and wearing functional clothing was wrong and I was outcast because of it. I thought maybe if I was a boy I could still do all the things I liked, wear the things I liked AND be accepted by society.
Fortunately trans wasn’t on the curriculum then but I can guarantee if it was my peers would all be telling me I should transition and maybe they would have accepted me if I did, but it wouldn’t have been because I wanted to, it would have been because society made me feel I had to.
I could quite easily see myself going down the same spiral of more and more medications thinking each one would make me feel better maybe people would be my friends and then even surgeries like an addiction because when you are desperate and experiencing absolute loneliness and not understanding why as a child leads to desperation you will try anything and just hope that will be the thing which will make it better.
This entire interview sums up the entire concern I have about trans education and the Tavistock clinic and is one of the reasons my children are home educated.
I am now a happily married, comic book loving, sci-fi/action movie watching mother of two. I am happy I was able to have children, I am happy to still be breastfeeding my two year old and should I have been encouraged to transition (something I am sure at the height of my misery as a bullied ostracised teenager I would have embraced) I may have had life altering surgeries and been left unable to do these things.
The thing which frustrates me even more is the damage this is doing to feminism and to helping boys deal with their emotions and become more aware of how misogynistic society is.
The trans curriculums I have seen is reinforcing gender stereotypes even further ‘pink planet - female’, ‘blue planet - male’, ‘multicoloured planet - non binary’ then explained by ‘gender expectations’ the ‘Genderbread Person’ with similar stereotypes.
All children should be learning there are no such thing as girls toys and boys toys, girls activities and boys activities, girls clothes and boys clothes, girls mannerisms and boys mannerisms, girls emotions and boys emotions, women’s jobs and men’s jobs, women’s pay and men’s pay, women’s sports and men’s sports, women’s movies and men’s movies and more.
There are just toys, things, feelings and clothes, there are jobs, hobbies and sports. If we ever want to achieve gender equality we need to eradicate this genderising of children, then we can have a generation of women who believe they can do technical jobs, take on leadership roles and have active hobbies (for fun - not just for appearance) and men who do cry, cuddle babies and talk about their feelings (and are less likely to commit suicide or end up in jail). Once we do then I imagine a large number of children and therefore ultimately adults may be what is currently referred to as ‘non-binary’ but is actually just a human who likes stuff.
For those who are unhappy with their genitals, they can seek help at a body dysmorphia clinic and if after many years of counselling it is deemed that surgery/medication will help them then it’s something which they can be treated for.