5 years old: never seen a girl with short hair

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I found out yesterday that my daughter has never (knowingly) seen a girl with "boyish" hair, in real life or fiction. We were reading a poem about a tomboy with an accompanying illustration of a short-haired girl playing football, and my daughter asked me a few times if it was a boy, and then was asking me to explain how the character could have boy's hair if she was a girl, and why the character had hair like that. She was confused but happily fascinated.

She knows all about girl vs boy bodies. But in day-to-day life she also tells girls of her age apart from boys almost exclusively by their hair styles.

It made me realise that none of the girls at her nursery, clubs or school have boyish hair. None of her books have girls that look like that. Or any of the television she watches. Or Disney films. Or music videos.

She doesn't get much screentime though so there might be some very mainstream young kids TV that has tomboys on. Maybe I'm missing the obvious illustrated books. Or has UK media really become so homogenous in how girls are presented that most kids are reaching five without ever seeing girls of their own age with short hair?

If it's so important, give your own daughter short 'boyish' hair.

Let's be fair. No girls with "boyish" hair and no boys with "girlish" hair.

Short hair is enough to make you "boyish" now? What is this? 1520 AD?

Just thinking as I did today's pick up from preschool, half the girls there have short hair. Usually short and curly. (Quite a few of the boys have long hair.) Thankfully there's very few girls dressed in pink and frilly either, most are wearing leggings, sweaters and boots.

When does short become long?

My Ds has just turned 4 and took an awful lot of convincing to believe that a boy in his class was in fact a boy due to him having long hair. A few times he’d called this boy ‘she’ and I’d corrected him but he really struggled with the concept. I think it is quite rare and there aren’t many examples of young girls with short hair or young boys with long hair in books or tv.

Several of my friends have boys with shoulder up to waist length hair. And girls with really short hair. So I'm curious as to where you live.

I see more long haired boys than short haired girls. Even more so in teen years.

Thinking about it I don't think my DD has ever seen a girl with short short hair either.

She's 6.

None of the girls in her school have hair shorter than their jawline.

Nor any of the girls in any of her clubs.

I will have to ask her! Plenty of the boys with longer hair though.

There certainly seemed a lot of peer pressure when one of my daughters entered Nursery a few years ago with a very short pixie cut (her choice; she loathed having her hair combed and brushed). One of her best friends that year was a boy who wore his hair a bit long (sort of between nape and collar).

By Reception each had changed hairstyle, she to a more conforming long bob and he to a more conforming short at sides and back. My DD told me explicitly that it was because none of the other girls wore their hair like that and they asked her sometimes whether she were really a girl.

I noticed this. When i was a little girl there were a lot of short girl hair cuts . My school photos have a real mix. I know one girl with a pixie cut but she has ASD. There are a few chin lenghth bobs but its mainly long hair.

Children at that age might seem to understand the difference between boys and girls but don't really. It's been shown in research.

She is taking cues from gender stereotypes. She hasn't knowingly seen a girl with short hair because she's had it drummed into her long hair = girl and short hair = boy.

My DD had short hair as a child and she was constantly referred to as a boy - she hates looking at pictures of herself now because of it. Nearly all the girls had short hair when I was at school, but none of DD's friends do.

DD is six. She knows girls have eggs and boys have penises. But she still views the definitive difference between boys and girls is hair length. Quite a lot of middle class boys have longish hair these days but where we live you never see that. I've managed to convince her grown women

I can actually remember thinking similarly myself So I must have been at least that age, probably more like 7 or 8! I remember being convinced that boys hair simply wouldn't grow long like girls' did and arguing with my mum who was explaining that it could grow just as long if they didn't cut it short. It's all about exposure to people who don't fit the hair cut norms for each gender. Plus I think it's possible your DD has seen girls with short hair and thought they were boys. I know I wasn't great with faces when you've l young and used things like hair cuts and clothing to tell boys from girls.

A good idea to look about you when you're out and about and point out girls/women with short hair (and vice versa). She'll widen her views on the matter given time and exposure.

I had short hair as a child and fucking hated it as I was always mistaken for a boy. It made me not want to make friends with other children and isolated me.

Oops! I've managed to convince her grown women can have short hair through the evidence of her Nannas, but I haven't found evidence of girls with short hair.

valancy Your DD may know that boys have penises and girls have eggs, but she probably also knows that looking in their pants is not a socially acceptable means of telling boys from girls in a social situation! As adults we generally know from the subtle differences in face shape, so we can tell the difference (apart from maybe babies) without clothes or haircuts mattering, but I think young children sometimes struggle. Maybe that's partly why many of them are uncomfortable not confirming to gender norms in terms of clothing or haircuts?

My DD had a pixie cut for a while aged 14. It was unusual, but not unique, at that age. Nobody mistook her for a boy (though sadly she did get assumed to be a lesbian )

Thankfully there's very few girls dressed in pink and frilly either, most are wearing leggings, sweaters and boots

Why "thankfully" You are showing your own prejudices there.

“Thankfully there's very few girls dressed in pink and frilly...”

Maybe those girls like wearing pink and frilly 😕😕😕😕

Not really on topic, but wandering around my university campus I’m really struck by how few female students have short funky hair. They all seem to wear their hair long these days. When did that happen? Im sure I remember all sorts of different lengths and styles in the late 80s and 90s.

Do you have any pics of when you were a girl? Our generation are more likely to have short hair and a class photo might have a few such girls?

The young girls with short hair that I know of tend to be Asian. They shave their head as babies so their hair grows thick and luscious.

Off the top of my head is Dora the Explorer short enough? I know she's not a real girl

'Joy' from Inside Out (Disney/Pixar)
Bonnie from Toy Story
Lisa Simpson
Repunzel has short hair at the end of tangled.
There's a lot of short haired girls in Japanese cartoons.