Being hit

[hocine12]

Ok, so I'm going to lay my cards on the table from the start... I'm a 25yr old guy

I promise I'm not some men's rights moron. I realise that almost all of society is institutionaly wieghted against women and (despite the single sex catholic school I went to), I'm part of the problem

But I take real issue with the concept whereby it's ok for a woman to hit me.
The justification I usually here is that men are(usually) stronger.
But I'm skinny AF, and an 5'6
I have never hit anywone, and I don't understand why it should be acceptable from a woman

P.S this is not a rant
Il try my best to. consider every reply withthe merit it deserves

The only time I slapped my (then bf) was when he was pressurising me to have sex 5 weeks after forcing me to have an abortion (as in 'if you don't get rid of it I'll disappear and you will be on your own in this).

I'm not sorry I did it as it was the only time I retaliated for the above, but violence is still wrong and has no part in a loving relationship.

It's based on the idea that women's anger is funny and impotent.

YY, in entertainment, it's not seen as violence in the same way is it? Because it's 'just' a woman I suppose. Off the top of my head, I think sometimes it's used to display the lack of power of women, in a story-telling device way.

I hate to see any violence and find it uncomfortable to watch the 'female against male' slap in films and TV. It's used fairly regularly in Suits - which I stopped watching for many reasons.

Suits is created by and produced by men. Can't find the scriptwriters on IMDB as presumably there are many. But it's clearly men running the show.

Writers will also be influenced by the films and tv shows they watched growing up. There may be larger numbers of women writing now but we know that hasn't been the same historically.

Overall, men are still running the show. They're the names at the top, the ones being nominated for and winning the big awards. I could name a handful of top male directors off the top of my head without really thinking about it. It would take me longer to name just one female director.

I know this isn't news to most people posting on FWR, but OP (if he's still here, which I don't think he is) is a newbie.

I'd also cautiously suggest that IDMB is probably listing people's gender rather than their sex, so may not be entirely helpful in figuring out the influence of females on the movie industry.

The scene in Frozen where Anna punches Hana in the face and everyone claps always sat badly with me.

Should say HANS

Yeah that's not good is it ginger. Disney couldn't even argue that she was provoked or anything, it was just random violence.

But then Disney aren't exactly known for their progressive films.

I know two younger women who have hit their partners but, in their defence, they are taking therapy to address their behaviour.

That is a very interesting point about how this is presented as ok in the media. Anyone who thinks they are not influenced by the media they watch is living in cloud cuckoo land.

Well that was a spectacular fail OP

Disney couldn't even argue that she was provoked or anything, it was just random violence.

I feel like a dick even typing this but to use a MN phrase, Hans was a cocklodger and only proposed to Ana in order to take over the kingdom. It wasn't technically random. I have had this conversation with my kids, although I left out the word cocklodger.

Oh definitely dick, I'm not a Hans fan! I just mean there was no physical provocation at that precise moment

I normally run a mile from their films but Disney's Cocklodger I'd go and see.

I've seen it happen a lot in media. A woman is pictured as hysterical or similar and ends up slapping a man across the face. Doesn't matter where. In the pub, in the street, in a restaurant, in work. I always cringe when I see it, and I'm sure lots of feminists on here cringe when they see it too.

If someone is hitting you in a relationship you need to consider leaving. Seriously. It's not good for you to be in that situation and it's normal or acceptable.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

Who conducted the experiment? Do you know for sure that the video wasn't longer but very finely edited?

There are lots of them, one from a BBC programme, and many others.

This is one of them

And do they show all the footage that was picked up by their hidden cameras? Or was the footage carefully chosen with most of it left on the editing room floor?

As a general rule people do not get involved with other peoples business when they're out in public. It's sad but the bystander effect takes hold most of the time.

Any social experiment where multiple people step in is therefore going to be finely edited and the footage carefully selected. So who's to say what other footage was disregarded?

Any filmed social experiment needs to be taken with a pinch of salt imo.

The idea that it's funny when a woman is angry and slaps a man is insulting to women also. It's based on the idea that women's anger is funny and impotent.

I totally agree with this and I hate seeing this, especially in children's TV/films - it's outrageous that we try to teach them not to hit but then the trope where and angry woman slaps a man or hits him with a frying pan is fine. It's like saying "oh well that doesn't matter because women are harmless and couldn't hurt a fly really" and yet at the same time "women can get away with things a man couldn't" which plays into the hands of the MRA position.

Women are adults and are subject to laws against violence and like anyone it's not OK for them to hit people, other than in self-defence.

Also, while not at all playing down the fact that far more women are harmed and killed by DV than men, there is such a thing as DV by women against men, and this trope is harmful to those men as it promotes the idea that being hit by a woman isn't an issue and complaining about it is unmanly.

I actually also feel uncomfortable about women joking about hitting and killing men, which you get quite a lot on MN. Though I've probably taken part in it myself, or ranted to a friend about how I'd like to punch my ex, etc.

If a man had that threatening violent attitude to a woman it wouldn't be funny, which makes me feel we shouldn't do it.

So, that would be zero votes from feminist women approving female on male violence, then?

Not often 100:0 on here. OP, O hope you:be left your violent partner and got some help to deal with the aftermath.

Logically, people who are most at risk of devastating partner violence are going to be the ones disapproving of all partner violence, no?

The line that women, especially feminist women, hate all men deep down and want revenge seems to be just a bit of projection/propaganda by MRA types.

On the subject of the social experiments, there are plenty of them - some used disingenuously. I'd wager some are laughing at the man being hit by the woman because its a reversal of the norm, and the man is unlikely to be seriously hurt by the woman (she's smaller, weaker - men are seen to be able to protect themselves). Not condoning it at all - but people are likely thinking he's not in serious danger.

But here's one showing how many people walk on by past violence against a woman:

There is a counter in the top left corner. Don't go thinking the whole of society steps in the protect women against male violence. It doesn't.

Incidentally, kudo to the ones who did intervene in that video I linked to - especially the men who intervened so much they had to be hurriedly told it was an experiment, and have the hidden camera pointed out to them!

And I thought the poor actress looked genuinely exhausted about half way through the video.

*kudos