"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

[GunpowderGelatine]

...you know the kind of things that, if you didn't look for it you wouldn't even notice?

For example, I'm at hospital today for an outpatient appointment. I noticed that when the staff (Male and female) would call out for patients for their appointment, they would use women's full names (e.g. "Emily Dixon?") and for men they'd use their salutation ("Mr Roberts?"). Every. Single. Time.

I feel like if we look out for things like these we'd notice a lot more? Is it just me going mad or do other people have things like this happen?

Oh my goodness, reading some of these. So annoying. I was wondering why there was a doctor and a nurse in the nativity? I liked brefugee refusing to change the handbook back from using 'she' to 'he' and password protecting the file. Genius, and so satisfying

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff Had the same with local garden trust. I was the main member, took out the membership, renewed the membership etc. Cancelled the membership. My phone number was the only one they had. They rang. Could not understand why I refused to put DH on the line to discuss my cancellation!? I put the phone down on him eventually.

Ditto, a Barclays bank employee once told me that now that DH and I were married, even though I hadn't changed my name I nonetheless HAD to change to Mrs as that ws the rule. I told her she was ridiculous. (have never liked barclays. And we still bank with them).

People who strike up a chat with my toddler daughter always assume her doll (a baby) is female, call it 'she' etc.

Even after hearing my daughter say 'he' and call it John.

Reading our instructions for a board game (Balderdash) “the dasher must read his card then take his turn” or words to that effect. I was like ah sorry I can’t be the dasher.

I askedy bank to take the Miss offy account name when I married(didn't change name) they said they couldn't,there had to be a title,the computer system.Tjey couldn't explain why my now exh could have his account with no title.
And the times when you have a joint account and they have to speak to the man(who always goes first,)to give permission for you to talk to them.The results t conversation is never going to be a good experience for them after that.And this happened all the time as apparently I'm better at that sort of thing.Funny how he's managing now.

My bank says I can have a card without a title, but I can't have an account with no title. They didn't have a problem with me changing it to Ms, though, and just did it then and there.

Older men congratulating my husband on me giving birth to a son :/

I got 50 quid from Barclays after I added DP to my account and they put him first (not alphabetical), and started sending all correspondence only to him (checked advertising status - I mean official letters too).

They're doing it again though - they upgraded us to a 'premier' account (whatever that really means), and started sending him letters again, but not me.

Oh, and estate agents have always been another hotbed. DP or my Dad get the correspondence (when renting ourselves, and for our rented out house respectively) - despite explaining on many occasions that my Dad is just a local contact and has no legal responsibility for the house, and that they'll be lucky to get a reply from DP half the time so they should really just email me.

If people (pretty much always men) obstruct our dropped kerb and I say something, they kick off at me/don't believe me etc. If partner (who is male) says anything to them, they're only too happy to move/oblige. Every. Single. Time.

@MikeUniformMike last year! Someone else asked about y a dr and nurse in nativity. Can't actually remember! Was an adapted version. Funny how all I remember is that that pissed me off!.

Plain old sexism...

On holiday with my brother, walking down the street
"Jesus, you really need whatever the woman version of Just For Men is as you're so grey!" Firstly, it's hair dye and secondly, fuck off - I'm growing my grey out and couldn't give a shit.

About to head to beach:
"You'll need to shave your pits".. uhm, what? When asked why I needed to, what difference my bare armpit would make to my enjoyment of the sun, it's because he thought I may have forgotten. Oh yes, can't possibly allow the woman out with BODY HAIR! I didn't point out that after being conditioned since I was about 10 that women's body hair needs to be removed as soon as it grows, am I honestly likely to have forgotten... believe it or not, it's a choice I have made! Just fuck off...

Outrageous. I would have mentioned it to the school.
I agree about the car moving type situations too. I'm shortish and slight, and am aware that the bigger you are, the more authority you seem to project.

I sold a dryer to someone and he came to pick it up. I'd put the listing on, did all the messages, talked to him at the door etc. He got the money out and gave it to my DP instead who had not been involved at all. DP made a point of handing it to me infront of him.

My neighbour always assumes my DP has done the gardening, planting trees etc. Again my DP states that it's me who does it.

Men can be shit but luckily I have an ace partner.

My boss always used to ask me to text him and let him know I got home ok when I’d been on a client site.

I pointed out he never asks the men on the team to do this and it’s sexist and infantilising and refused.

He eventually accepted it but now thinks I’m Millie Tant.

@INeedMoreCats
He used to use his very much post wartime rank - Major - as he was in the TA, as he thought it impressed his MoD colleagues. My equivalent rank is Colonel. I hope it pisses him off.

Oh this has made me laugh. I too experienced unreal sexism in the 70's and 80's working in the Civil Service and Criminal Justice system (actually in the 90's too)

We had a particularly pompous man who was basic grade at work but when introducing himself always said "but you can call me Captain" (his previous Army rank). Until one day a quiet unassuming man replied "in that case you will call me Major" oh it's the smallest things, it still tickles me now

Apparently he only got the rank of Major by default bit we didn't care it was priceless.

@meganchips Could also because he knows what arseholes some men can be and therefore wants to make sure you are safe from them.

Used to have nice flatmates at college who put themselves out to walk home with me, etc. Shame they didn't do more to make sure more men aren't arseholes though, but I kinda trusted they had a better idea of what men can do than I did and therefore grateful they cared.

I now live in a country which on the outside appears to have equality sorted but inside...jeez. Especially moving due to DH's job so he was definitely the breadwinner when we arrived and the one with the contract that opened all bureaucracy doors. However, am seeing the upside of this now as I used to do all the household stuff (childcare, holidays, housework, all 'wife work' crap including finances) but now I don't have access to half of this stuff......so he has to do it. Apparently it's a pain....yeah, no shit. Downside of course is that I still have to remember all the stuff and remind him to do it. but...well, if I can't get access to the account....well.....no, sorry, I can't look for the new insurance quote It is quite freeing....

The water board send the most bizarrely addresses letters. I am Miss Reluctant Countess, and my partner is Mr Eager Manchild. Letters come addressed like this:
Mr & Mrs Eager Reluctant Manchild Countess.

Madness.

I work in a large office. When I am in the lift with a bunch of men they always insist I exit first. I hadn't realised it initially and once I was at the back of the lift and could not understand what the delay was ...why were the men not leaving and then the penny dropped. They were waiting for me to leave first. I think there are a lot of old fashioned men in my office. It happens every single time.

I had a plumber round, and was shunting the newly delivered washing machine round the tiny kitchen so he could get to the boiler, when I wouldn't let him move it for me, he called me a suffragette I was rather surprised (and speechless) Until then, I hadn't realised attitudes like that still existed. Since then, found lots of similar attitudes. But then this tiny town I live in is still in the 1950's so...

Pointing out an anomaly in a set of numbers at work that could have had serious consequences, and needed correcting asap, I got told to “calm down.”

Would a male member of the team be spoken to like this? No fucking way!

@Endofthedays Because if it had been the nisi, I was technically not divorced yet so (if I had ever been Mrs in the first place) it could have been a more reasonable assumption that I was still Mrs. With the absolute, however, it's probably not a good assumption for a lot of people.

I thought it was quite funny. But I did wonder how my solicitor's office, who had been dealing with me personally for a couple of years and calling me Ms throughout, suddenly decided to address me as Mrs for the first time ever on the day I officially divorced. It wasn't sexism and yet there was a lovely irony to it!

I now live in a country where women have a single, invariable title with no relation to marital status at all. It's restful.

@NoNewsisGood Maybe I should have put more in my post but we actually live 150 miles apart so there wouldn’t be a thing he could do about it anyway. It rankled me because I’d already explained why I didn’t want to and it was just more admin for me to do - to make him feel better. It wasn’t for my benefit it was for his.

I may be being unreasonable with it (AIBU? ) but I felt like my boundaries were being ignored if that makes sense.

Anyone noticed that whenever there is a photo of a celeb or otherwise famous couple in the media, regardless of whether the couple are famous together, or it is the man or the woman, the pose is usually; man looks confidently into camera, woman gazes adoringly at man? This has always irked me.

Work in the police. We have a form in work to apply for maternity leave. It has drop down fields, and for rank it only has the option of Constable or Sergeant. Apparently Inspectors & above don't get pregnant.