"Micro" acts of every day sexism...

[GunpowderGelatine]

...you know the kind of things that, if you didn't look for it you wouldn't even notice?

For example, I'm at hospital today for an outpatient appointment. I noticed that when the staff (Male and female) would call out for patients for their appointment, they would use women's full names (e.g. "Emily Dixon?") and for men they'd use their salutation ("Mr Roberts?"). Every. Single. Time.

I feel like if we look out for things like these we'd notice a lot more? Is it just me going mad or do other people have things like this happen?

I did not know that, thank you.

But I still think it was designed by men!

Why is autocorrect thinking I'm more likely to be talking about a city than someone''s sex? There's nothing about my posting history to suggest it, yet my phone still prefers Male over male.

When DD2 started a new School 2 years ago, it wasn't until reader book #7 that a book had a female character in it that wasn't a prop for the amazing boy doing interesting things characters.

Come to think about it her books from school are still predominantly based around males doing stuff.

YES YES YES

We need to talk about this

There's been books written on this. Its called the gender bias or the unconscious gender bias

Its everywhere and its shit

Why is autocorrect thinking I'm more likely to be talking about a city than someone''s sex? There's nothing about my posting history to suggest it, yet my phone still prefers Male over male.

My phone does that too. And has no reason at all to be thinking I mean the city rather than a very common English word.

I know the male thing is really annoying. My iPad now autocorrects male a lot less frequently as I’ve typed the word so often. If you type a city, small town and even a lot of villages into your phone / iPad and it will automatically capitalise the first letter. I don’t think it’s anything sinister tbh. Male is a capital city.

The terms Sir and Miss at school. Miss because a teacher couldn’t be a married woman as married women were expected to stop working.

And why Sir not Mr? Sir is the title for a knight. Almost as if female teachers were of lesser status......

I was at a social event last week and a man asked what my job is. I replied that I own a company that does X ( its a very specialised area in a male dominated industry so usually people ask lots of questions ).

He replied “ Ah, so you help your husband out with his businesses? “.

My phone (iphone) doesn't capitalise male.

Took my car for an MOT recently and the garage had a sign up saying 'Foxy Lady Approved Female Friendly Garage'
It made me think of cafes etc that have 'dogs welcome' signs

My latest one is people saying that if I have a baby girl (I'm pregnant), it will be great cos we can have girly days out and get our nails done

If I can muster the energy to even cut my nails, I consider it top quality grooming these days but no, as I am a woman, I must be longing for a daughter so we can go and make ourselves look attractive to men.

I see this as confirmation bias. According to what you've written, it's you^ who has made the assumption that the reason for keeping your nails cut and shaped is to 'make ourselves look attractive to men* not the person who said it would be nice to spend time with your daughter.

If all you do is read into everything as being micro-sexism at play, you must be making yourselves miserable.

When men I know socially become fathers, I always ask them if they are going back to work part time.

When they say no I purse my lips and say “ gosh how are you going to combine a career and being a father ? What are your childcare arrangements ? “ etc .

If course they all say their wife / partner will deal with it. So I put on my surprised face and ask if they don’t feel guilty allowing their wife to sacrifice her career for theirs , I hope they are very grateful for her, what are three doing to make up her pension contributions etc

They are all genuinely puzzled. They are quite happy to receive congratulations on becoming a father, safe in the knowledge that it wont affect their lives in any major way, and that all costs will be paid by their DW/DP.

*13/11/2019 21:41 teawamutu

I've started playing Patriarchy Chicken after noticing males just assuming I'd be one to move aside on the pavement. It's quite good fun.

Also Patriarchy Chicken: Aquatic Version. Males who assume I'll let them go first in the swim lane even though we're about the same speed. Denied.*

@teawamutu

you are great. That’s all.

@daisychain01 so in your opinion, what is the reasons for so many people, not jsut one or two that just happened to say that, to say to a woman it’s great to have a girl to be able to go an have your nails done together??

Another one
DH took my car to the garage for some repair. Followed on with said garage on what was going how, when the car would be ready and the price.
And I then went to pick the car. The guy looked at me an said ‘oh well, actually I hadn’t done my prices right so now it’s £xxx’ which was a couple of hundred pounds more than what he had told my DH an hour before. . When reminded of what he had said, he denied and said that was that.
Strangely enough we’ve never taken the car back to him ever again....

When we got to our local curry house DH and I both order a large bottle of Kingfisher or Cobra each with our meal. They bring him a pint glass and me a half pint laydee glass, so I’ve taken to ordering “a large bottle of x and a pint glass.”

Chilled larger is probably nicer in the half pint glass, it stays colder in the bottle than it does in the glass so you get to drink it at a better temperature

@HeyNotInMyName

so in your opinion, what is the reasons for so many people, not jsut one or two that just happened to say that, to say to a woman it’s great to have a girl to be able to go an have your nails done together??

How about people have their own reasons that I don't know because I don't know them. Let me speculate - in general terms those people could just be saying it's nice to have a daughter to share common interests with. I go to the hairdressers with my DM and neither of us are doing it for men. We just enjoy having our hair washed and styled and it's nice being pampered.

The whole point is self-care can be about the feel good factor, to want to have your hair done, keep your skin nice, have your hair done etc. It's quite sad you feel the need to turn it into a micro-sexism comment, even if it was genuinely an innocuous casual 'throw-away', said without any intention to turn you and your daughter into airheads who just want to please men!

Oops I meant having your nails done!

Chilled larger is probably nicer in the half pint glass, it stays colder in the bottle than it does in the glass so you get to drink it at a better temperature

In which case, they should be giving everyone a half pint glass. 🙄

DHs friend last night made me think of this thread. 3 of us convo about brexit, election etc but he completely failed to do the alternate eye contact thing you need to do in a 3 and looked at dh about 95% of the time. He did manage to look at me to explain that Saudi Arabia had found some “magic black stuff” and made lots of money. I’m a bloody geographer!

I work in quite a niche, very male dominated area. I am often asked to speak at conferences, on an “expert” panel, and am always the only woman. There are usually only about five women in the audience and about 200 men. The other male panellists get serious, relevant questions. I get about three times as many questions as the other panellists, but most of these are trying to trip me up - as if I couldn’t possibly know what I am talking about. It is ALWAYS the young men, too. Usually PhD students. The other week I got “You said X, but I don’t think that’s quite right, is it? I think what you meant was blah blah blah.” I suggested that next time he took my place, as he clearly knew so much more than me - and then destroyed what he said.

Oh and on these panels, which are generally done on seniority, I am always the last speaker. Because a student with a penis trumps a senior woman every time.

Ironically, I have an ad just over there > for a necklace where “your son” name is first and and “you daughter” is second!

Spurs kit size guide “Men’s, women’s, older boys, little kids, baby and toddler”.

Every single gift guide where gifts for her are boring make up stuff and the gifts for him are tool kits.

those people could just be saying it's nice to have a daughter to share common interests with
Well that's what sexist there isn't it. I share plenty of common interests with my sons, and the poster who originally said people were saying this to her made it clear that getting her nails done was not an interest of hers.

I see this as confirmation bias. According to what you've written, it'syouwho has made the assumption that the reason for keeping your nails cut and shaped is to 'make ourselves look attractive to men* not the person who said it would be nice to spend time with your daughter.^

Rubbish. How many parents of boys get told it's lovely, because they'll be able to have manicures together, because it's all about self-care, not girly stuff? Probably fewer than parents of girls are told they must be looking forward to playing football together or work on the car. I would be very surprised if that many parents of girls hear that, but I would expect it to happen more than parents of boys are told it'll be nice for their sons to learn how to make sure they have well-presented fingernails. Because of sexism, not confirmation bias.