Has anybody else been followed by a random stranger?

[Godxilla]

I was in a mall when I saw a bloke in front of me, he kept on looking at me intently. I thought, "freak", as you do and stared back at him. Thinking nothing of it, I perused TX Maxx, purchasing a couple of items (after waiting patiently in a very long queue). I decided to head out of the mall and pop into a supermarket nearby. As I entered the supermarket, I thought I noticed the same man, which I thought was odd. I had a feeling he had followed me. Whilst picking up a few items on my list, I kept an eagle out, but could not spot him, thankfully. Eventually I made my way to the till, and at the opposite till, the man was there;again he turned around to check me. I noticed he was purchasing croissants only (in my gut I felt that that purchase was a cover, and I thought to myself, nobody would do this would they?) I was going to the exit of this supermarket, and this man was in front of me, and I made sure I checked out whether he would turn left or right. He turned left, and he made his way that way, so I turned right (which was the way I needed to go). I was marching along and I noticed footsteps behind me and then a presence next to me; it was that man, walking alongside me. I got really pissed off, i stopped (he did also) and faced him. He smiled at me (I had a stony expression-so I think). I said "are you following me". He got a little flustered and said he thought he knew me (which I knew was complete bullshit). He then walked away from me. I walked to the car park quickly and checked I wasn't followed which I wasn't.
Anyway, this was in a town, full of hustle and bustle, during the day ; who and why would someone have the audacity to do this? They picked the wrong woman (even though I was feeling a little agitated). In retrospect, he was scanning my ever move which creeps me out. I don't think he expected me to stop and confront him but I do wish I had said more. Should i have taken a photo and reported him? I feel a little guilty now that he may feel free to do this to another woman (perhaps younger and/or vulnerable women.)

Been followed more times than I really want to think about tbh . I’ve been followed out of tube stations late at night , followed around Kings Cross whilst waiting for the first train home at 5am , by a male that then decided to try and steer me into the back streets whilst having an ‘innocent chat’ and who then rapidly made his excuses and left once he found out what I did for a living. Followed directly out of the work car park ( although tbf so have some of my male colleagues ) and had to drive to another police station for help . When I work in Central London and have to walk there from a station late at night , I wear one of two pairs of shoes , which a male colleague once commented on , as I always wear the same two pairs . He was a little taken aback when I told him it was because I always wear shoes I can run and /or fight in . He was even more taken aback when several other female colleagues agreed , because he had simply never even given it a thought.

As far as I'm aware I've never been followed but I have been asked out by two separate random men without being engaged in conversation first, it was really weird!
Nothing nasty just 'would you like to go for a drink sometime', I didn't find them attractive & thought it was strange so said no i have a boyfriend; they said ok & went away.

I have had catcalls from strangers but apart from minor assaults in nightclubs when drunk I've 'only' been assaulted by men I know/ knew.

I was followed home from the bus once. It was only 6 pm ish and day light but the streets were deserted. I've never been so scared in my life. I was 16 and absolutely terrified. My dad went out looking for him but didn't find anyone, which was a good thing as I think he'd have killed him if he'd got his hands on him.

My dad was raging, bundled me and my friend into the car, and we went off looking for the man. We found him outside a neighbours house. Dad had him pinned against the wall, bellowing at him about following teenage girls and what the hell did he think he was doing. He had some feeble excuse about wanting to see where I was going. Dad told him in no uncertain terms it was none of his fucking business where I went, but he’s certainly make it his business if that man ever did something so stupid again. I can remember being in awe of my dad; for believing me and sticking up for me, and also putting the fear of god into that man and making him feel the way I did when I was being followed.

Your Dad is lovely.

And yes, of course I've been followed. The scariest time was being followed by a car when I was walking home from a gig. Luckily, I knew the area, so I knew which blocks of flats I could cut through to change streets.

Not rtft

Yes more than once

All blokes obv

Some v scary

Godxilla that sounds grim

In answer to your ques, yes numerous times, it's so normal I tend to try and forget afterwards but of course always alert to anyone who might be following me. So interesting disconnect there!

Sometimes it can be hard to be sure once you've made efforts to shake them off.

Happens less as you get older and more invisible

So many awful stories. And it never stops.
Last week downstairs on the bus, all by myself (except for the driver ), a man in his late 60s / 70s got on and walked all the way down and sat beside me!! Every other seat empty.
I just barked at him "Move", got up and moved away from him. Creep!

And she'll have her head buried in her phone so won't be cognisant of anything around her.

I've had to have several conversations to my teenage DD - that she has to be aware of her surroundings so can't have ear buds in.

That she can't walk along the canal in winter when it’s getting dark and really shouldn’t do it by herself - she should stick to the busy road - and I'd like her back after dark and if she not - she's been caught by cinema times – it’s safer to do bus from busy bus station opposite shops and highly visible than walking back as only way back is underpasses.

It’s hard as I think she sees it as fussing – and DH can be undermining – he’s vetoed the gift of fear till she’s older as he doesn’t want to scare her. I don’t want to scare her either or unnecessarily restrict her but staying aware and in public is going to make her safer than not doing so.

I think times have changed and made it a little worse.

There seems to be an increase in men following in shops and so on which I blame on casual pick-up behaviour propelled by the likes of Tinder where some men are thinking everyone’s up for a hook/up due to a minority of women who are!

I've been thinking about this thread and gradually lots of memories have resurfaced and it's quite shocking actually quite how many times I have been followed, touched, leered at or made to feel uncomfortable by a man. It does happen less now (the blessing of getting older) but it makes me rage for my DD and DSD.

Yes, I got kerb crawled once. It was fucking horrible. It was also early afternoon in a residential area and I was clearly on my way somewhere

I really don’t know what goes through some men’s heads

Yes. I don't know how far I had been followed but a man was walking down my street behind me at night. I was unlocking my front door and he just stopped at the end of my path so I turned around and stared at him. He asked me if I knew the time, which was clearly just some ruse to initiate whatever the hell he wanted to initiate. I just said no very aggressively and he slunk off.

This thread is depressing and alarming. I'm enraged that the harassment of women is not classed as a hate incident purely because it's so common as to render it background noise.

I've been followed too many times to count, as a PP said, it's been less since I've aged which is fine by me.

I was once followed when my son was in his buggy and I felt very vulnerable even though I was in public in broad daylight.

That she can't walk along the canal in winter when it’s getting dark and really shouldn’t do it by herself

Canals can be very dangerous places. There was a spate of people disapearring in my area (all men) and ending up being found in the canal.

There seems to be an increase in men following in shops

I remember an article maybe 15 years ago in women's sections of newspapers declaring that the supermarket aisles are the new place to pick up, and encouraging people (women) to make eye contact with male shoppers in order to try and pick them up.
There's a ton of "how to pick people up" advice, aimed at both men and women that entails approaching strangers in public.

Never been followed myself that I've noticed, but friends have.

It used to be pretty regular in my teens. Slowly drifted off. Being a teenage girl in Britain is rather like watching a bunch of baby turtles or whatever setting out to sea with all the predators lying in wait. And you're constantly told you're making it all up as well.

There was a spate of people disapearring in my area (all men) and ending up being found in the canal.

My DS is slightly younger and currently less likely to go out by himself - but you're right I think my advice would be the same - stay public and be aware of surroundings.

Yes, this has happened to me. Once a couple of years ago I got followed on my way home from work which shook me up quite a bit. I was walking home from work in the daylight and got followed quite some distance by a man. Happened to me more than once in the dark too and that was really scary

I've been followed and harassed like this more times than I care to mention. Unfortunately, it became so commonplace that one time a man was shouting things out at me from the opposite side of the road, so I just brushed it off as being just another twat and carried on my way. It being mid-afternoon in my own neighbourhood, I didn't feel particularly in danger, just annoyed. However, he then followed me down a quiet street and he put his arm around me. I pushed him off and told him to fuck off. A couple of men walked past and he backed off, which I suppose is why I didn't ask them for help. I feel quite hardened having lived in a number of rough areas and dealt with this kind of thing so many times without actually being attacked physically, plus was probably just confused and being so close to my destination thought I'd just get away. Anyway, once the men had passed he then grabbed hold of me and sexually assaulted me. I won't go into details for the loser creepy men reading who look for wank fodder in hearing such things, but it was a few years before he was caught, after attacking a number of other women, and he was sentenced to several years in prison. What made me sad was there was a news segment about the spate of sexual assaults in the area, and there was some victim-blaming coming from women interviewed, saying that they didn't go out at night anyway (clearly not having all the facts) and that they were the type to fight back and thus would surely not be singled out (yup, I fought back with all my might too, but thanks for making me feel even more shitty about my sexual assault).

At the age of 13 a friend and I were walking in a residentail area.
Car pulls up and slowly following us.
Two blokes inside around 30 years old asking us to get in and telling us what they would like to do to us.

Left my friends house dark early evening to walk a couple of miles home.I was maybe 15 the lad who started following me was about 18.He was on a bicycle....kept cycling pass me then stopping and staring so I had to repeatedly keep walking past him.
He had such an evil look on his face that I really thought he was going to attack me.
I bumped into a couple of friends so when I stopped to chat he took off.

Police have said a number of times that in order to respond to hate crimes against women they would need to increase their staff by 1000% or they would not have time to do anything else.
So there is no such thing as a hate crime on the basis of sex.

So we're just abandoned. Worse than that, when we do report we're treated like shit.

Why should we support this corrupt system again?

If you notice a man following try walking as if you are already angry at someone. Walk in the middle of the road/path/pavement and not meekly to the side. Clench your fists as if you are just dying to punch someone.

It was advice I read in a women's magazine once and I have used it a couple of times. It works. Once the guy had been following me at the same pace for quite a while, but when I clenched my fists and started to walk in an angry fashion, I could clearly hear him hesitate and then move in another direction.

Why should we support this corrupt system again?

Oh because we need to be kind to people.

Reminds me of the most appalling sexist joke I once heard:
"Why do women have vaginas?"
So people will talk to them.

Nicely skewers both themale sexism, and female expectations of other women to be nice (eg the handmaidens ...)

Mind you this won't necessarily work in all circumstances because sometimes we need to run and sometimes what we need is a huge dog to walk with us. Nonetheless
nimengxihelen.wordpress.com/2016/04/28/power-pose-101-think-murder-and-walk/

I had an experience fairly similar to the OPs.

It made me realise that people who follow you are not necessarily 'following' you

OK, I've been looking at that trying to stop myself from biting, but I give up. What does It made me realise that people who follow you are not necessarily 'following' you mean?

Do you think we can't tell the difference? Or is there some innocent intent to this observation I'm missing? If not you can shove it.

These experiences are terrifying at any age. I've been followed by men who were very obviously standing and staring at me, then running to catch me up and standing and staring at me again. It is not something that you can confuse with innocent intentions. I was first followed at 11. One of the most scary experiences of my life was being followed at 17. Between those two ages sadly I had to learn that simple living, while being female in Britain was a huge risk due to the amount of male predators and a system that legitimises, enables and excuses them. You can bloody leave off doing it on one of the few safe spaces where women are allowed to share experiences and realise just how bad it is.