Has anybody else been followed by a random stranger?

[Godxilla]

I was in a mall when I saw a bloke in front of me, he kept on looking at me intently. I thought, "freak", as you do and stared back at him. Thinking nothing of it, I perused TX Maxx, purchasing a couple of items (after waiting patiently in a very long queue). I decided to head out of the mall and pop into a supermarket nearby. As I entered the supermarket, I thought I noticed the same man, which I thought was odd. I had a feeling he had followed me. Whilst picking up a few items on my list, I kept an eagle out, but could not spot him, thankfully. Eventually I made my way to the till, and at the opposite till, the man was there;again he turned around to check me. I noticed he was purchasing croissants only (in my gut I felt that that purchase was a cover, and I thought to myself, nobody would do this would they?) I was going to the exit of this supermarket, and this man was in front of me, and I made sure I checked out whether he would turn left or right. He turned left, and he made his way that way, so I turned right (which was the way I needed to go). I was marching along and I noticed footsteps behind me and then a presence next to me; it was that man, walking alongside me. I got really pissed off, i stopped (he did also) and faced him. He smiled at me (I had a stony expression-so I think). I said "are you following me". He got a little flustered and said he thought he knew me (which I knew was complete bullshit). He then walked away from me. I walked to the car park quickly and checked I wasn't followed which I wasn't.
Anyway, this was in a town, full of hustle and bustle, during the day ; who and why would someone have the audacity to do this? They picked the wrong woman (even though I was feeling a little agitated). In retrospect, he was scanning my ever move which creeps me out. I don't think he expected me to stop and confront him but I do wish I had said more. Should i have taken a photo and reported him? I feel a little guilty now that he may feel free to do this to another woman (perhaps younger and/or vulnerable women.)

I think what we can take from this is if a woman tells you something like this believe and support her.

Once I told about someone following me and was told don’t be silly dear.

It’s a difficult one as if your not believed it can make you sound a bit crazy.

I’ve also been followed by a cross dresser but now I suppose he will claim he’s trans and be able to follow me straight into the toilets where I would have previously gone to hide!

Many incidents over the years. Earlier this year I was followed when leaving a music festival. On my way out as the last band were on their last song, I paused and a man did a 'dance with me' dance right in front of me. I moved on, took a wrong turn and ended up in a very quiet area. The same man suddenly walked out and stopped right in front of me. I said excuse me and walked round him, then he followed me. I found the right way out, but there were no security staff and he kept following me. Fortunately there were a few other people around and I stopped in front of some and said "This man is following me. He's fucking creepy" or words to that effect, and walked on as fast as I could. He had disappeared by the time I got to the car park where there were security staff, but I just wanted to get out of there.

I carry FARB spray. If they ever got that close, they'd know about it!

@Hawkinsxmaslights "I think what we can take from this is if a woman tells you something like this believe and support her." - yes, absolutely.

I was followed once in my late 30s whilst walking home from a pub in a suburban part of London. I don't think he actually followed me from the pub but just came across me.. it was very foggy and visibility was poor, but I could hear his steps keep
pace with mine. It was horrible, all sorts of things were flashing through my mind. I ended up ducking into someone's front garden after turning a corner and hiding in between some bins and a hedge. I heard him walk past, falter, walk away..Waited there for ages before running home.

For all those wishing they looked older, sorry, but it doesn't stop. I'm over 50, grey haired, and I still get followed.

Agree, got to say I’m older now and seems to have got worse! Might be because I’m confident and bolder so go to a lots of places on my own now.

These are terrifying. I fear for my dds.
Also highlighting how much women rely on their sense of danger, of “wrongness” .
I was followed a few times by flashers in my teens and twenties. That was scary enough, but the most frightening one was when I was 12/13. I was in London with my parents, and they had allowed me to wander round Oxford St alone for a couple of hours, we had arranged to meet at a specific time (no mobiles then).
I became aware of a man staring at me. Mid thirties or forties maybe, everyone looks old when you are a girl. Middle Eastern appearance. Initially I thought he worked in the shop I was in, but he followed me out, and then every shop I went in, I could see him, just at the edge of my vision. Eventually I started to feel very afraid. I wanted to tell a woman working on a till, but I was embarrassed and scared that she might tell me not to be silly. I was struggling not to cry, and I could see that the shop I was in had a rear exit. I went out, and he followed, and I somehow managed to move quickly with a group of people and duck back into the shop, and out of the front exit. I then sprinted down Oxford Street and went to meet my parents.
I didn’t tell them ! I felt it was somehow my own fault. Now I have dds that age it preys on my mind.

It's happened to me a number of times. It's depressing to think how very common it is.

I'm middle aged (albeit I do look younger) so it doesn't stop once you get older. I think I just get enraged and pissed off these days, but also try and read the situation so as not to put myself in danger. My sons and husband couldn't believe this and were horrified. DH suggested a pepper spray which I promptly rejected (one of the reasons being, knowing me Id spray it into my own face) .

Yes, I was wondering if things had got worse or if it was just that I was noticing more. I do find myself doing things like moving away when someone sits directly opposite me on an otherwise empty train carriage, or just stopping when someone decides to walk along just beside me.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been followed at a distance like this. I’m not very observant to be perfectly honest. But I’ve been followed more overtly. It’s happened quite frequently that a man sort of attaches himself to me and follows me down the street a couple of paces behind me trying to engage me in conversation. Don’t know why it always happens to me. I tend to draw an unusual amount of attention in public in general. Maybe it’s because I’m tall?

Yes beginning of this year taking my kids to cinema kids are 2, 3, and 4yrs I went in to a shop near by to get sweets and drinks and noticed a man stood right by me I could clearly see he was interested in what he was looking at I grabbed stuff as quick as I cld walked round to pay n he followed me n stood there pretending to look in the fridges I grabbed kids as fast as I cld and left he followed cpl seconds later n seen he had bought litteraly nothing it scared the shit out of me cos I had 3 kids with me

Op what about an alarm if you're not comfortable with a pepper spray?
I would report it to the police, he should be on the supermarket and mall cctv, he could be stalking other women or known to the police.
The only time I think I was followed was in the car whilst driving. I was on my own with my young DS leaving a country park. As we drove out the exit a man driving in was staring at me, he turned his car round and then was behind me. I was about 15 minutes from home going over roundabouts and taking many turns, he was there whichever way I went. When I was nearly home he was still there and not wanting him to follow me home I took a sudden turn without indicating and he did the same. I speeded up as I knew the road had a small roundabout and I managed to get ahead and fly round it and lose him. I saw him in my mirror appearing to be looking round for me. I still wonder what he was doing and why.

...or just stopping when someone decides to walk along just beside me.

Yes, I still do this too, when my radar goes off. Generally when a man is walking in same direction just that bit too close for comfort and internal ‘creep proximity’ alarm starts beeping.

And yes I know NAMALT and probably perfectly innocent etc etc, but I’ve had too many shitty experiences to want to risk it, so I prioritise my own feelings of safety.

I was also followed up the street once by two teenage boys and mugged. They pushed me to the ground and stole my handbag, I did fight back, but then stopped because it occurred to me they might have a knife. I always look round when there are footsteps behind me now, it's like a very small traumatic response. I can't not do it, even if it's broad daylight, and there are other people around.

It doesn't surprise me at all that this has happened to so many women and girls. There are a lot of predatory men around.

Over 50 - and it happened to me a few weeks ago. Dark, fairly lonely high street at a late time of night, car followed me walking. I crossed over the road and walked opposite way so I wouldn't be on the same side of road. Driver did a u-turn to follow me. And another further u turns when I crossed back. It frightened me very much and I felt preyed upon.

Even worse, it was the weekend I was dropping off my 18 yr old dd for fresher's week at uni. I now worry every day for her safety.

Yes on two occasions the first time the guy was an absolute psycho and ran after me when I started running as I got near a relatives house. As my aunt answered the door after my frantic banging he was at the end of the drive with a face of thunder on him. Luckily I got in the house before he got me I was only 15 at the time and I truly believe had I not of cottoned on he was following me and ran as I neared my aunts house then it would not of ended well.

Always carry a rock in your handbag to throw at creepy following cars. They usually drive off if you're threatening to cave in their window!

Mine was after a night out.I stupidly asked the taxi driver to drop me of on the main road round the corner from my house.It was right outside a pub.There were two men talking outside the pub and I crossed the road as they were a bit lary and I didn't want to be near them.This seemed to really anger one of the men who started following me down the road aggressively screaming at me that he wasn't going to harm me,so why did I cross the road.I was walking quickly trying to get some distance between us. Thank God his friend grabbed him and told him to leave me alone.And shouted an apology for his friend. I'll only get taxis directly to my door from now on.

I wonder if the well meaning in power realise what a high level of abuse women encounter out and about.

This is why we are so keen to keep our women only spaces just that.

I've never been followed on foot, but I have been followed in the car. I thought I might be, as I was going home, and thought it would be an incredible coincidence if this guy had stayed with me the full journey. So I went round in circles a few times, then went and parked at a supermarket to see if he came with me, and he did. I was terrified. He eventually drove off and I have no idea who he was or why I was followed, as I never saw him again.

At the time, I was with an abusive ex, and it crossed my mind that he had hired someone to follow me. This may still be true, I never got proof either way.

2 stories first I was on a bus on the way home and a man came and sat next to me even though there were empty seats. When I got up to get off I was relieved I had lost him, till I realised he had waited a few minutes and followed me downstairs. Got off the bus and he was right behind me. So I stopped after the stop and he had no choice but to walk past but kept looking behind to see were I was going. I phoned my sister and had a loud conversation about the creepy guy on the bus and how I was phoning the police and he then disappeared down a side street, but I was freaked out.

Second one was on my way to work. Just came out of the coffee shop and spotted a guy stopping people on the street. Crossed the road to avoid him and he noticed and crossed to catch up with me and tried to engage me in conversation, despite my headphones being on and visible. He walked with me all the way to the office to try and get me to engage. He was homeless and wanted to get my help, was the story. I work in homelessness and directed him to the support hub, but that wouldn't do. I told him to leave me alone and he refused to leave, ended up with him shouting I was a heartless bitch at the door to my office. That one ended with a call to the police. What really freaked me out was he decided to target me because I tried to get away.

First story happened in my 30's, second one was last year and I am in my 40's now

It never bloody ends

I've had a few incidents.
First one I was 10/11 last year of primary school, walking home with just my cousin of the same age/year. A man followed us almost the whole way home which was a good 15 minute walk, waited until we was at the top of a bridge and asked us directions to a shop I told him, asked if it would be long and when I said no, rubbed his penis that was visibly hard and said 'oh good because I get really sore if I walk for too long' we dashed off and he followed us all the way to the top of my street and disappeared.

Has another incident when I was around the same age, not followed though, at a park with a pool with the same cousin, made friends with a girl of the same age who was with her grandad, he proceeded to change into and out of his swimming pants several times, each time flashing his bits at us, stupidly didn't tell anyone as we was worried we wouldn't be allowed to go to park alone again, really wish I had as I often wonder what his intentions were regarding his granddaughter but we was naive kids that didn't know better.

Another incident of been followed when I was 18, my friend was insisting on leaving work alone and walking to another friends house where we was, I wouldn't let her so went on my bike to walk back with her, we passed a pub and a man came out shouting at us, we ignored and walked off sharpish, the quicker we walked the quicker he did, we started running and he ran still shouting things, stop been frigid bitches, you know you want it and lots of drunk slurring. Across the road another man started shouting and running too, still don't know if he was joining in or trying to help i couldn't hear what he was saying and by this point we was very panicked and running. I managed to get on my bike and friend jumped on the back, I peddled for our life's and he stopped running after a while. I'm so glad I went to pick her up, dread to think what would have happened if she was alone!

I don't think people realise how frequently these kind of things happen to women, almost everyone I know has a story to tell of a man harrasing her.

I wonder if the well meaning in power realise what a high level of abuse women encounter out and about.

I wonder as well - there was a talk about adding misogyny to hate crimes on radio 4 months ago they had some senior policeman talk about how having men wolf whistle reported would waste everyone time .

I thought I don't know anyone who would do that - but the times I've been followed, stopped from leaving or have sexual things shouted at me just for walking down street - sometimes with my young children with me - I might consider reporting but currently aren't recorded anywhere.