Has anybody else been followed by a random stranger?

[Godxilla]

I was in a mall when I saw a bloke in front of me, he kept on looking at me intently. I thought, "freak", as you do and stared back at him. Thinking nothing of it, I perused TX Maxx, purchasing a couple of items (after waiting patiently in a very long queue). I decided to head out of the mall and pop into a supermarket nearby. As I entered the supermarket, I thought I noticed the same man, which I thought was odd. I had a feeling he had followed me. Whilst picking up a few items on my list, I kept an eagle out, but could not spot him, thankfully. Eventually I made my way to the till, and at the opposite till, the man was there;again he turned around to check me. I noticed he was purchasing croissants only (in my gut I felt that that purchase was a cover, and I thought to myself, nobody would do this would they?) I was going to the exit of this supermarket, and this man was in front of me, and I made sure I checked out whether he would turn left or right. He turned left, and he made his way that way, so I turned right (which was the way I needed to go). I was marching along and I noticed footsteps behind me and then a presence next to me; it was that man, walking alongside me. I got really pissed off, i stopped (he did also) and faced him. He smiled at me (I had a stony expression-so I think). I said "are you following me". He got a little flustered and said he thought he knew me (which I knew was complete bullshit). He then walked away from me. I walked to the car park quickly and checked I wasn't followed which I wasn't.
Anyway, this was in a town, full of hustle and bustle, during the day ; who and why would someone have the audacity to do this? They picked the wrong woman (even though I was feeling a little agitated). In retrospect, he was scanning my ever move which creeps me out. I don't think he expected me to stop and confront him but I do wish I had said more. Should i have taken a photo and reported him? I feel a little guilty now that he may feel free to do this to another woman (perhaps younger and/or vulnerable women.)

I was followed home from the park a couple of months ago. I was with my DS and his friend and this creepy guy kept riding past me on his bike. I ended up practically running home and hiding behind my neighbours van so he couldn’t see which house I went into.
I’m a 40 year old, slightly over weight mum of 3, I had hoped that creepy guys would leave me alone by now.

Happened to me in my 20's. Followed from shop to shop by this man. Really creeped out. Middle aged but not white in this instance. Said hello to me and I gave him a stony stare.
Managed to give him the slip and go into a nearby building that I was attending a training course in which had a keypad entry so he couldn't follow me in. It has just occurred to me that I should have reported this to someone but didn't think of it at the time. I think I was just so relieved to have got away.
This was in a fairly big city and I felt incredibly vulnerable and alone, despite all the people around.
I got hugely hassled driving recently and a man who thought I should have let him out then tailgated me to the next town. I'd decided at that point if he continued to follow me I would drive to the fire station which is on my route home. See if he followed me in there!

That’s a really good tip, if your being followed drive to the local fire or police station. Simple but genius!

OP I'm surprised that you would need to ask the question. I don't think I know any woman who hasn't been followed by a random violent man.

I'm so sorry for your experience - I remember when I was mugged & beaten up on the street, I caught myself thinking "Well, it wasn't too bad. At least I wasn't raped."

Dislocated thumb and temporary hearing loss from being boxed in the ears, but, at least it wasn't rape.

It's a pretty low bar.

We should all be fumingly angry, but instead we see it as a pretty standard part of ilfe and warn our daughters to be careful.

Yes, Loads of times.
Depending on where I am and who’s around depends on how I react. Ignore, walk away, tell them loudly to fuck off are all options I have used before.
I had someone following me around when I was 9 months pregnant, trying to get my number. An when I said I’m not interested was sworn and shouted at and told I’m ‘lucky’ he was even showing interest in me.

When I was younger a boy followed me through the park, and when I told him I wasn’t interested he spat in my face.

It makes me feel so helpless, and then I get really angry that I’m so helpless

And yet, as * just said, you find yourself being grateful it’s not worse

A few years ago when out walking the dog a man followed me and asked if the dog would bite him if he touched me? 😳 He then ran off but turned up again 6ft behind me when I started walking in the other direction. The dog was very unhappy about it all and he's normally a softie. Eventually I told the man to get past or I'd let the dog off (I'd given Ddog the nudge and started moving him protectively). Man then ran off again. He clearly wasn't out running as dressed in brouges and the sweat was pouring off him when he'd tried to get up close... By contrast most men I've met when out walking the dog rurally seem to 'know' they can trigger a fear response so are all very smiley, or give a 'good morning!' in a I'm not a threat type manner.

Yes, even the other day I was followed around Tesco (one of the really big stores) every time this guy caught my eye and kept my daze longer than appropriate I felt shivers down my spine. At first I thought I was imagining it but he kept popping up all over the place and looking at me direct in the eye it was really unpleasant.

I wonder if the well meaning in power realise what a high level of abuse women encounter out and about

Of course they know about it, they just don't care because it has no affect on men at all. It's all our own fault for simply being female. The poor men can't help it you see.

My worst was in Bodrum, Turkey. On holiday with a friend. Went out with the reps one night. Path along the bay between the beach and bars is only a couple of metres wide. I accidentally bumped into young local, early 20's who was walking in opposite direction. Said sorry etc and carried on.
Then I noticed same man again walking past me. He must've ran along the beach.
Went into a bar and when we came outside he was standing behind a tree very clearly watching me.
Went to the big nightclub at end of beach, must've been in there at least 2 hours but there he was hiding behind trees again. We started walking and as soon as we got around a natural bend in path we legged it back to hotel.
I was late 20's but looked younger and luckily didn't drink much and had my wits about me.

When I was in teens it was always creepy older weirdos who assumed I was a lot younger than my actual age. Bastards.

It says some very ugly things about men as a group that most women's experience of this was at its most intense when we were at an age where adult men had no bloody business even thinking of approaching us.

I tend to attract men who are begging. I can tell immediately if they clock me and I'm about to be targeted. Waiting for the bus seems to be particularly problematic. They're around town all day but as soon as the shops close it's like something changes and they become more forward and I will usually avoid being out alone at night.

This is the first time I've been followed, thank goodness. The amount of this shit that goes on is disgusting. The sheer avalanche of stalking in plain sight, when women go about their everyday chores and activities, in broad daylight even when its busy and bustling has really surprised me on this thread. I'm shocked that mothers with accompanying children have been targeted, and so on. ..
I've had men flash at me; but the following and stalking for me feels much more intimidating and makes me so angry.

This is why the one protected characteristic under the 2010 Equalities Act which is not a reason to start a criminal complaint about a hate crime is sex.

You can claim a hate crime for racist language, for homo- or lesbophobic language, for hate against a religion, or for transphobia.

But not the most common crime committed against 50% of the population: street/stranger sexual harassment and misogynist cat-calling etc.

Didn't Germaine Greer say once that "women can't afford to think about how much men hate them" ?

I was walking my dog on a Saturday lunchtime when I noticed a bloke hovering nearby and watching me. So I walked away confidently and as soon as I was round the corner out of his sight I ran like hell. At the next corner I ran into him again - he’d obviously gone the other way round the block hoping to cut me off.

At this point I felt frightened so I grabbed a woman who was coming out of her house and said “please pretend you know me because that man is following me”. So we stood and had a chat while the man watched, obviously waiting for me to walk on so he could follow me again. After a while he gave up and walked away.

Five minutes passed and the lady I was with pointed out that the man had reappeared. He’d obviously walked ahead and hid round the corner waiting for me to catch up. Then got sick of waiting and popped his head back round to see where I was. I had to call a taxi to pick me up and drive me away. Still have no idea what he wanted, whether he was planning to assault me or snatch my dog etc.

I reported it to the police who said “maybe he fancied you?” And my mum said “yes, you should have spoken to him because maybe he wanted to ask you out but was too shy?” 😡

^^ this is all horrifying. Makes me want to keep my DD under lock and key. I hate being at work and knowing that she's walking home in the dark on her own. Thankfully not far from school but still. And she'll have her head buried in her phone so won't be cognisant of anything around her.
Just remembered actually being followed by 2 boys/men in their late teens, 19, 20 perhaps? Walking along a posh road coming back from the gym. They were after my backpack though and not me, but they told me they had a knife. Handed over my backpack easily enough and they ran off. I was really shaken.. but I did think I had the last laugh - the only things in there were my sweaty gym gear and travel toiletries!

Still, I did report it to the police. I think OP you need to do the same thing too to hopefully get this fucker off the streets!

I was followed by an older man, probably around 30, when I was doing my paper round so about 12 or 13. He wanted my phone number and kept on and on following me on my route. I wouldn't give it to him but instead took his to get rid of him. Can still feel the grubby piece of paper as he put it in my hand all these years later. Ugh.

oh yes; when I lived in a city in my late teens/early twenties I was fairly regularly followed/touched inappropriately!

I've been followed in the car a few times. The scariest time was when I had my three very small DC in the car with me, and the driver of a white van thought it would be fun to tailgate me in my tiny car for miles along a country road. I was quite shaken when I finally got away from him.

I've been followed on foot a few times too, it's horrible. One time a young man decided to follow me around central London, on & off the tube, there was no mistaking what he was doing. He got the fright of his life when I turned round to face him in a busy place & yelled at him to piss off, stop following me & leave me alone. He slunk off. It makes me so angry that men think it's OK to do this.

Its happened to me a lot, once when I lived in a red light district it happened in daylight while I was lugging bags of shopping home and had toddler DS in the pushchair.
A friend of mine was driving home at night and a car followed her, beeping and flashing his headlights. So she pulled over and wound her window down an inch. A man approached her and insisted she get out, he wanted her to check her rear light as it wasn't working. Instead she just said 'oh right thanks' and drove off. He followed her for several miles with his lights on high beam, so she couldn't get his licence plate.

Shouldn't the folks proclaiming and fighting for gender neutral toilets/changing rooms and fuck knows what else see this thread? Get it out there and let everyone know the shit we deal with.

Now the fuckers will feel entitled to follow you into the former Women's toilets. Luckily it will never happen.

Police have said a number of times that in order to respond to hate crimes against women they would need to increase their staff by 1000% or they would not have time to do anything else.
So there is no such thing as a hate crime on the basis of sex.

Yes, a couple of times.

Scariest was when I was in my late 20s and heading home in the tube late one night. Walking down the platform I inadvertently and briefly made eye contact with a young guy sitting on a bench, I didn’t think any more about it and continued walking to the end of the platform. Once the tube came and I sat down, I noticed him the seats opposite. Not directly me, but a couple of seats over. This was weird, because if he’d stayed where he was he would have been in a different carriage. He also seemed to be staring at me, but would look away if I looked at him. So, the fear instinct kicked in although I tried to tell myself everything was probably fine. I thought about trying to escape at the next stop, making a run for the door at the last possible moment, but didn’t think I was close enough. We got to my stop, where lots of other people always got off, and to my relief he didn’t get up from his seat when everyone else did. So I headed out, and cautiously looked behind me a couple of times but couldn’t see him in the crowd. But then walking up the steps to the street I looked behind me again and there he was. I couldn’t believe it, it was like a horror film. My flat was only a short walk from the tube, just further down the main road. Panicking a bit I jumped on a bus. The next stop was right by the gate to my flat. He followed me onto the bus. I jumped off at the next stop just by my flat, so did he. I turned to him and said something like if he didn’t stop following me I would call the police. He kind of shrank back and looked a bit pathetic. I got through the electronic gate into the car park, and back inside, but it was a really scary experience. I didn’t turn the light on for a while as I didn’t want him to work out which my flat was (you could see it from the road). I never saw him again.

When I was younger than that, 17 or so, I used to have to go to mass on Sunday by myself. I would slip out a few minutes early, after communion, and there was a boy who used to do the same and then kind of trail me home. He wasn’t that much older than me and if he’d asked me out normally I probably would have agreed (he was quite good looking!), but instead it was just weird and creepy. It went on for a while.

Yep last year was walking home down a long high street and stopped to look at a window display. It was only about 6.30 pm. Then realised a man stopped a few shops up. So I kept walking and stopped again so Sc he did the same as it was really quiet and I was totally freaked out. I ended up waiting in a shop for ages browsing and he left but I was so scared

Godxzilla don’t think that point hasn’t been made. Hundreds of times.

But,

It never happens

If it does, no true trans...

And even if true trans then how transphobic to focus on the tiny tiny minority of violent criminals

Because no true trans

And it never happens.