Today (at a race) a man went used the women’s loos

[Thethingswedoforlove]

He was wearing make up and earrings and presumably ‘identifies’ as a woman. There were unisex portaloos available. I felt so violated but did nothing. What should I have done?

You don't say anything. Campaign for change by all means but under the current legislation they had the right to be there and you shouldn't try to start change by giving individuals a hard time.

I get that the individuals deserve respect rhino. We all do. I gave him that. But I really felt so uncomfortable.

Why? What were the cubicles like? I do think they should all be floor to ceiling as standard in this day and age.

There was a gap at the bottom and the door was relatively low. But it was a small space and not much room to wait, wash and dry hands etc. So all a bit close to each other in the combined space. But that kind of doesn’t matter. It Shd be a women’s only
Space afaic.

TheThingsWeDo.

The only point is that it was a women's only space.
You don't need to ever justify that.

Thanks handsoff

What do you want to do op?

Sorry I misunderstood. No laws have been passed to remove single sex spaces so let's not get confused here. Places that apply self ID are not acting within the law.

Now I understand more OP, you simply must complain to the golf club. Please do let this pass without comment. Stuff like this is what got us here in the first place. Saying nothing is what got us here, being nice is what got us here.

Think of the little girl in the Morrison's loo who was very nearly raped by a man (who is now being housed in a women's refuge£. She kicked him in the ball sack, brave kid, no doubt she will have nightmares for a very long time.

To me it is made even worse by the fact that initially we were taken to the men’s side of the club to use the loos there (we weren’t told they were the men’s at the time we were ushered into the building) and as soon as it became clear where we were, we were swiftly sent on our way by the club staff (I wouldn’t have used the mens’ loos anyway but I hadn’t quite realised where I was at that point). I guess I do want to raise it both with the golf club and the race organisers. I have no idea if he was racing under a woman’s name. I shd have looked at his race number more closely to look it up under the results. I will speak to them tomorrow and make them aware of it. But ex- post there isn’t too much that can be done. At least I can make them aware it is happening. I have no idea what their policy wd be.

If their policy is - if anyone says they are a woman they can race, pee and change alongside women, then I’d say ‘well that’s one less runner for next time’z

I don't understand what difference it actually makes to be fair! Go in, do what you need to do, go back out again. Pay no attention to what others are doing and everyone's happy!?!

Well if he’s a self-IDer then he should be be there, and a male bodied person running against women is a cheat.

I'm sorry you had to experience this. You're not alone in feeling violated and helpless. I've had this happen a number of times (I live in the US), and knowing our state laws protect this behavior is even further injurious.

When using a public restroom, I always turn my phone on and have it handy, ready to call for help. I've found that appearing confident and aware, making eye contact, and certainly not appearing intimidated (without looking haughty or seeking to provoke conflict) has worked for me.

Looneytune Appropriate name, perhaps? It IS a bit crazy not to see how having biologic males in women-only spaces might be harmful. This isn't about "do your own thing and we'll all just get along." Violent crime is almost exclusively committed by males; they have no place in a space for women and (often) children.

Go in, do what you need to do, go back out again

What if the "do what you need to do" is:

• install hidden cameras to secretly watch women (happened)
• sexually assault a young girl/young woman/old woman/ANY woman (happened a thousand times)
• masturbate and leave semen on the toilet seat (happened)
• masturbate and leave pre-cum on the toilet paper because you get a thrill from knowing a woman will wipe herself with it? (happened)
• hide in a cubicle and masturbate to the sounds of women using the toilet (happened) etc etc.

Yeah, you're right Looney, makes no difference at all to have single sex facilities...