Every time I hit refresh I fall in love with Rufus all over again.
I'm going to mangle the shit out of this metaphor because a car is nothing but a brrrm-brrrm to me, but she's the catalytic converter that turns rising tension into collective release.
She's well integrated, that one. And I'm well into the behavioural-linguistic-processing cosmic groove now. This thread is amazing. It's like a drug.
November read up on the principles of mentalisation-based therapy, and try to apply them to yourself. Same goes to everyone. They try to teach you it when you're massively traumatised but really they need to be teaching it in schools.
Person A has a badfeel. She has externalised it onto person B and when that didn't solve her badfeel she externalised it onto everyone else. "Person B's attitude is the problem" is person A's problem - that belief, not person B herself.
A believes her badfeel is rooted in B. She has not yet realised it is rooted in the dynamic, and taken ongoing responsibility for her role in creating the dynamic. Instead she has extended it - she has extended the dynamic and she has extended and intensified her badfeel.
This is the sort of stuff they teach you how to recognise in therapy when your emotional-intellectual regulation interface is fucked by patriarchal trauma.
Right. Back to gin. Not gin. It's the devil's piss. I don't need booze, I'm high on discovery right now