Would I be happier if I'd never visited this board?

[partystress]

Not really even a light-heated question. I feel so utterly depressed by the misogyny that I've become aware of through following threads here and broadening who I follow on Twitter. My 'D' H says he can't see the problem with the recent cricket and rugby changes and when I challenged him to consider how he'd feel if our DD missed a place on a team due to a TW, said he would be happy she was living in a more tolerant world than we grew up in.

My DS sees the whole issue through the lens of pleasant, identity exploring uni friends and thinks I'm rabidly obsessed when I talk about regressive stereotypes and risks.

My DD, still at school, thinks sex work and porn are part of a new era of positive empowerment for women. If I question the normalisation of anal sex, and its inclusion in a teen magazine, she says I'm oppressing girls and women.

I feel there is a bubble of people who get it, but the war is lost. The institutions have fallen and the worst possible type of people (those who feel their privilege is under threat, but who actually still exercise massive power) are now in charge of almost everything. For me, it's all entangled with Trump and Johnson and the era of shamelessness being a career and electoral asset.

I am feeling so low about it all, I have got to the point of wishing I'd never heard about any of it. Are there any real lights at the end of this awful tunnel? Boosts needed!

@sueanddumplings I am not vile. I love my girl with all my heart, can’t bear to think that if I had affirmed her trans identity she would be injecting herself with testosterone now and preparing for a double mastectomy. How can you think they are good choices for teenagers?
She’s very happily bi now.
Partystress, it is a hard road, but it is the right one. We aren’t the racistsand homophobes, we are the resistance. I got directed to this board when I was beside myself with fear for a child. Without it I might not have found a way to help her. Thanks to all of you, even the haters, you certainly helped me to educate myself

lots of people nod along because...

They’ll lose their jobs
Or funding
Or incite male violence
The police will call for a not crime wrong thought

Coercion - it’s a bastard.

If you're trans, yes you would, definitely.

PenguindreamsofDraco please see

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/3674784-Deleted-posts-Suspension-warnings-FWR?msgid=89572133

And let me know what you think - support welcome.

Yes to your question OP. And yes to this:
Daylight is needed and it’s coming. Fight when and where you can. Take breaks when you need.

It's hugely distressing but at least once we know we can begin to fight back and support other women who are fighting back. Ignorance might be bliss but it's dangerous bliss.

Thank you to everyone who has replied. It is really helpful to know others feel ground down by it all, and also to hear the voices of optimism.

Wisdom is blisters is great,

And to the PP who said we will be the racists and homophobes of the future.... I started a discussion with some friends on FB and began it by saying it had taken me months of grappling with that very question. Were my concerns really no different from my mum's casual racism? But that's the utter genius beneath all this. Attaching T to the LGB and wrongfooting so many genuinely progressive and supportive people.

I know. I’ve lived this for 40+ years.

That's your personal experience. Doesn't mean what was wrong for you is wrong for everyone.

I understand your sense of hopelessness, it's difficult to comprehend how an ideology which so obviously has the potential to harm women, children and anyone same sex attracted has gained credibility with state organisations right up to the highest level. We haven't reached critical mass yet which means things will get worse before they get better. I don't know how our politicians will deal with the situation as I can't imagine any of them saying they were wrong.

I think sport and the harm done to children will be the things which turn the ship around. By the time wider society wakes up there will be anger about the amount of harm done and unfortunately the fall out will affect those who can't chose not to have gender dysphoria, the trenders will simply fade into the background when the shit hits the fan. I think things could get really ugly which will be fucking infuriating as women have been asking to have a debate so that everyone's rights can be recognised. Our job in the meantime is continue to raise awareness and insist on the protections afforded us by the EA.

The trans rights movement, as we understand it through the behaviour of TRA's, is unsustainable because it rejects material reality and is fueled by narcissism.

Oh, Sue.

Two shifts on a bank holiday weekend? You really drew the short straw this year, didn't you?

Sympathies.

And to the PP who said we will be the racists and homophobes of the future.... I started a discussion with some friends on FB and began it by saying it had taken me months of grappling with that very question.

Me too. I read and try to understand a range of perspectives but the real reason we spend so long scrutinising our own attitudes is because we think we must have missed some crucial point which makes it all makes sense. I've done enough reading now to know I'm missing nothing, the ideology is like a cult and I haven't been brainwashed yet.

Its gaslighting at a political, social and sexual level.
It is like when you finally realise you are in an abusive relationship, the veil falls from your eyes and you cannot not see
Im forever grateful of finding this board.
Both children are GC and the elder teen's friends are heavily questioning the dissonance and uncomfortable feelings they were having around the subject.
I have met some fantastic women.
Of course I rather wish it wasnt happening.
But as it is I am happy to be moving and shaking with those who are not afraid to say that sex is real.

Two shifts on a bank holiday explains why I got a reply in less than 15 seconds on a not aimed at anyone post and my follow up actual question to the targeted reply so far ignored.

Sad I tell ya, I’m crying literal tears.

I'm never going to be ashamed of standing up to homophobia and sexist discrimination against and oppression of biological females, thanks.

Ashamed of standing back and just letting it happen because it was easier? Yes. I'd be ashamed of that.

What's that line by Dumbledore - when there's a choice between what is easy and what is right....

Joss Prior, seeing as you are reading this thread, no, I think that many women conjure up an image of someone like YOU when they imagine a TW. Why the constant ageism when you yourself are middle aged and non-passing?

twitter.com/joss_prior/status/1165644423147008000?s=20

Attaching T to the LGB and wrongfooting so many genuinely progressive and supportive people

You’re there. This is what you’re trying to tell people. You’re not bigoted or a a bloody nazi or *phobic.

I think the fact you’re questioning means you’re doing better than most.

I’m glad you liked my blister analogy..

Ignorance is bliss. Wisdom is blisters.

Its a clever ruse to align with the LGB for EXACTLY the reasons stated above - because we can be accused of being racists and homophobes and on the wrong side of history.
But dont forget that those amongst our numbers have been to the conferences, have heard the plans about infiltrating every group and pretending to be our friends, so we have a 'nice trans' to personalise outr reference points. We have heard the self congratulatory speaches about how far theyve got by flying under the radar, we know how their lobby groups have been influential in so much policy changing and women's concerns have been waved away as irrelevent and inconsequential.
I admire your audacity, much as I think Dominic Cummings is a fucking genius, whilst not liking what he has done.
you have relied though on female socialisation - the desire to be nice and be kind and to think of others first.
But someo of us are past caring about the slurs, the names, the accusations of being no better that Hitler, a nazi terf scum who is personally responsible for poor oppressed transwomen dying in our wake.
We have fact. We have science. And we care about children.

conjure up an image of someone like YOU when they imagine a TW.

Honestly I don’t conjure an image at all. Like I don’t when I think man, or cat, or cow.

I do probably conjure an image when I have a person in mind however. But until the police thought stazi get woke thought meters, I’m ok.

Joss Prior, seeing as you are reading this thread, no, I think that many women conjure up an image of someone like YOU when they imagine a TW. Why the constant ageism when you yourself are middle aged and non-passing?

Pota2 you beat me to it, was about to make the same comment!

Great post NettleTea And that twitter thread that Pota2 posted highlights why we should be so vigilant about people who deliberately target children and young people in this way.
Parents will never stop questioning why certain adult groups are so determined to access and influence children with their beliefs.

oh hahahahaha NSPCC isnt that where you go at lunchtime in your rubber fetish gear for a wank in the toilets?

Im happily blocked by Joss which I find fortunate as his voice gives me the weebies

Absolutely get what OP says . I’ve been fighting for hours everyday on Twitter - so naive at the start that I thought the battle would soon be over . Then I got in deeper and saw the GRA ‘reform’ was simply the tip of a huge iceberg . Ever since it’s been urgent for me to do all I can to stop the ideology from taking over everything . And, I don’t regret it . The last 18m have been stressful, the kids aren’t on board, husband thinks I’m mad to care do much but the friends I’ve made ! The wealth of knowledge I’ve gained about life, history, politics and now realise I have truly found my tribe . We honestly are walking in the light and society, one day, will acknowledge that. Women as do much more powerful than they realised . Onwards!

I think there will be a limit on how far all of this medicalisation and trans stuff will go. For one thing I think the consequences will become clear at a certain point. In sports fairly soon, but the problems with transitioning kids and teens will become clear in the next 10 years.

I am inclined to think we may in fact be on the way to a more socially conservative population more generally, as unlikely as that seems to some. It wouldn't be the first time that a rather libertine age would be succeeded by a more buttoned up one.

One thing I would say is that while there is some truth in having eyes opened to this stuff, a lot of time online can also create an appearance that things are actually worse than they are, or that there is more of a conspiracy going on than there really is. It's something to be careful of and sometimes it can be good to take a break from online stuff, to be a little more present to what is actually right around you which often is people who are generally well meaning and kind.

a lot of time online can also create an appearance that things are actually worse than they are

If we hadn't been online, the GRA reform would have been pushed through with hardly anyone knowing about it, like the original GRA in 2004. Look how much has gone on under the radar - like the sports policies that are only now coming to light when people are taking advantage of them.

People might be generally well meaning and kind, but if they have their hands tied by bad laws, things will only get worse.