Detroit

[DetroitOtherday]

Hello?

Good morning Detroit and I hope you had a bright cheery fire last night.

The feeling of freedom you have gone to such lengths to secure for yourself is the most important thing for your safety and wellbeing, something that only someone in your situation can really grasp, and the stubbornness thats required to do that is a good thing. It is strength in you to get what you need. Noone knows his reach and risk as well as you; you are the expert and I hope that the divorce brings what you need.

Do you have any organisations where you are, contactable by phone that would get legal orders in place to protect you? Meaning you could at least get him arrested if he made any kind of contact face to face, via technology, or through third parties?

In the UK we have non-molestation orders that can be secured without his presence (ex parte). Here one can just place a call into any court and ask for their orders and what the application process is, plus there are organisations that can put one in place within 24 hours on your behalf, for free, dependent on your legal aid situation. Court application fees are very low though, and potentially free for dv.

No need to respond to this specifically, but just some thoughts around your protection legally in case they might be helpful.

Sending you big warm blanketty-type hugs if you wish to take them and a hot breakfast for sharing round the camp fire.

I've done all that's open to me. I'm pretty safe now.

I hope Christmas was kind to you, homeless with children. Such a tough time of year.

Hey Defroit just poking my head round the door to wish you a better year in 2020. I’m glad you are safe. Your fire looks lovely, I could almost smell the woodsmoke from here. Sending all my very best wishes to you, and to childrenandhomeless as well. I think you’re both incredibly brave.

I would give anything to be where you are and feeling safe. I am so glad you have that. Its not easy to do, and I guess you can take all the credit for that as noone else has helped you to be safe.

You also keep yourself safe online and won't disclose, just excellent, perfect stubbornness and essential for your safety.

Thank you both for your kind words. I am sick of it all. My next move may be country. If ita your country Detroit I'll look you up friend.

Hi Detroit, just posting to wish you all the best for 2020. At least you can have a giggle at the leaf blowing fool. Glad you are keeping warm with the fire, I love watching the flames and smelling wood smoke, and it's handy for keeping away wild creatures too.
Take care, and try to have sweet dreams.

Everyone who chats about the wildlife etc has helped me get through this to some extent. Feeling alone and absolutely unreasonable in my needs has been brutal.

Oldstyle has been a very good friend to me, especially.

I'm not sure what next year will bring. I've heard vague mutterings of forced shelter in certain states. I hope it is conspiracy mutterings.

I don't think being a hobo, an unwilling woman is going to be allowed for much longer. Comply. Conform. Capitulate or else.

Ill either make it or I won't. I've had a life. Some of it was good. I hope to have more years under my own terms.

Its at the point where people worry me more than animals.

Homeless with children, you really don't want to do this with kids my dearheart, as enticing as it sounds. Can we help you find some housing?

I've heard vague mutterings of forced shelter in certain states. I hope it is conspiracy mutterings.

Dear god! It reminds me of the tales of workhouses! How do you stay dry, Detroit? Do you have a wee tent or something? I grew up in an abusive household, which was permanently cold and was often hungry, but I can’t imagine sleeping out, the way you are. I thin’ you’re incredibly courageous.

No, children cant go.

Having been cold, tired, dirty, hungry and terrorized, I would opt for the others over terrorized, so I completely understand your sensible direction.

To a degree, yes, children tie you, as people think they own them and know best for you and your children, sadly only you truly know your situation, and theirs.

Everything can be achieved with security and happiness, nothing much with fear.

You are doing the right thing for you.

Too few really understand, or are prepared to make a stand against the issues that leave women and children exposed to risk. They think they know, they don't.

You only have to look at a current thread running, to see the complete lack of understanding towards the start or actual increase of abusive towards a pregnant woman and the excuses being made.

The thread you are referring to is so horrible I was several pages into it and had posted on it before I realised it is on Relationships not AIBU.

...and yes, sometimes I have taken my children into the wild as the only alternative to being unsafe where we were, and it kept us safe from further assault. It gave us safety and security, and freedom from fear of further assault.

I kept us warm and fed, and we had fun, an adventure, instead of fear and pain.

Are you still living with this abuser, sweetie?

I have good camping gear, and stay in campgrounds. Minimal dripping thanks to good gear. Going to the bathroom and shower is a bit exciting in winter, but manageable.

That said, this is my own personal choice. I would not encourage any woman to do this. I can't afford housing. I cannot go in shelters which are more used as validation stations for certain groups of people. I will head out to a more sensible area after it thaws.

It sounds romantic, and fun. It's actually ok in summer, where showering, finding a camp spot, and the regular perils are the main problems. Winter is a different beast.

Getting moved on (despite paying), is a problem. People's shitty attitudes if you are seen to be homeless are pretty bad. Other homeless people who do get drunk and high can be intimidating.

I could not be city homeless, street based.

I'm really noone special. But I'm pretty upset that at a point when I needed shelter I found there were damn adult male bodied people in them.

Homeless with children, living this way isn't something to be admired. Please try and get conventional housing and help. If you are in the UK I'm sure there are women around here who can help you?

We ran away, and are still running. No, the winter is a very serious beast to be treated with respect.

I don't expect there is anyone here who can help or want to be involved, nor would I expect anyone to.

I dont trust/can't risk contact with anyone off the internet. Its one thing to speak to people online but a step too far to engage irl, because of who it could be.

Like you say, it's just good to talk, to connect.

The survival bags are really good, lightweight and dry. They are great for keeping the cold out. All huddling together has kept us warm too. You find ways. Layers and layers, off the ground.

City homeless seems very risky I agree, and unpleasant.

I am sorry you have been on the receiving end of shitty treatment despite paying your way and having the same entitlement to stay as anyone.

Hoping you are cosy tonight.

Here's hoping you are both cosy tonight.

Thinking of you tonight Detroit... hope that 2020 is better than 2019 (a low baseline I suspect). Take care sister.

That meant a lot Lang very kind thank you.

Thinking of you Detroit and hoping you are keeping warm and well, and the local wildlife is providing some free entertainment for you.

I gathered lots of berries in the autumn which I turned to alcohol by Christmas, and I toasted you with one.

Are any kind of womens groups allowed where you are? Would it be safe for you to try to go, or to try to set one up even?

Feeling alone and absolutely unreasonable in my needs has been brutal.

No, YANBU to want female-only spaces.

Best wishes for 2020.

Thinking of you both, Detroit and Children.

Hope you are safe and healthy in the New Year.

Feeling alone and absolutely unreasonable in my needs has been brutal

absolutely, but I know you're not alone, becausenI hear you, and it makes me realise that I'm also not alone then, that there are many others out there feelibg isolated in the same place as that.

It is brutal, its fucking beyond brutal, and I hope you can hear that you are not alone in this. It fucking stinks. I am so sorry for the swearing, but its bloody beyond. You will get blocked and turned aside if you react badly to men as a result of trauma at the hands of men.

Sending you some virtual hugs across the miles and hoping they make it all the way to you (if needed) and a nice hot

Keep warm and well fed.

Interested to hear any quick over the campfire type recipes you use.

Thank you catsfriend for your thoughts.

Just wanted to give a shout to DetroitWildling and childrenandhomeless, and anyone else in a similar situation. Thinking of you today, with these horrible storms. Hope you have shelter.

Hello.

Well, it's miserably cold, but drier. I'm sneezing and wheezing, leg hurts, but I'm alive thus far.

Drier means fires again, and sadly crowds of yeehawing assholes and their noise and trash in MY forest.

Young men are puking in the bathrooms this morning, sniggering as they Yee fucking hah their way into my bad books. I saw a squirrel this morning, and a few birds. At least there's no rain today. I'm so over rain.

I might yet survive winter.

Good to hear from you, Detroit. Shame about the yeehawers, hopefully they'll sober up and fuck off. Is the leg okay, can you get someone to look at it?

Winter is marching on. Rhubarb's up here, blossom is brewing in the trees. Wild garlic probably about ready to pick. Not long now.

Ill move sites away from them. They find themselves scintillating, and the sound of their puking amusing beyond my fathoming.

Yee fucking hah. Whoo fucking hoo.

The chipmunks are not amused.

I'm staying clear of official people of all brands. Doctors, lawyers, all that jazz, none of it is any benefit to me.

I'll cheer up as the weather does, until then it's retreat and stay quietish.

There's not a scrap of dry wood around. I usually gather it, not pay for it. I might go take my cart and see what I can find.