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Original poster

De-woking DH

52 replies

Withington · 16/08/2019 19:31

There were a couple of threads on the feminism boards, around getting partners to understand the realities of the trans "debate" for women's rights (pointing in direction of good articles etc) but cant seem to find them on search - probably because I'm doing do ineffectively. Can anyone help? DH is becoming almost unbearably woke on the subject but I find myself not able to adequately articulate what it all will actually mean for our kids! When I told him about some of the ideology being taught as fact in schools he scoffed and said of course that wasn't happening Hmm Help me de-woke him!

OP posts:
Eggotchi · 16/08/2019 19:35

Following as this is a convo i'd like to have with my dp. He isn't woke, but it isn't something i've known how to broach with him and I feel it's important.

DuploTower · 16/08/2019 19:36

m.youtube.com/watch?v=pOUP2yHukMY

Sexnotgender · 16/08/2019 19:37

Following...

DH totally agrees on most points but doesn’t understand why we can’t all just be NICE. Why we can’t all just sit down and talk it out.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 16/08/2019 19:40

Why do these men want their daughters rights reduced, do they think they have too many? Were they asleep when metoo happened? I have zero time for men who think it's okay to reduce women and girls rights and protections.

OvaHere · 16/08/2019 19:42

This is a very good article although it might be a bit full on as a 'first step'

uncommongroundmedia.com/the-rainbow-reich-transgender-ideology-and-totalitarianism-part-i/

Original poster
Withington · 16/08/2019 19:47

I honestly just don't think he's thought about it properly - I was just letting it lie but he seems to have moved further away fairly suddenly in terms of his views? Like they've ratcheted up or something so I now can't ignore. I guess the consequences of the press megaphone effect or something. Also Dc is starting to near school age - if I saw that Mermaids or similar organisation were involved in any way we would need to be speaking from the same hymn sheet in terms of our response - but we're not.

OP posts:
JoyceJeffries · 16/08/2019 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FormerMediocreMale · 16/08/2019 21:51

Yaniv is good for peak transing. If your DH likes sport that could be a good way of broaching it, males bowling in womens cricket is dangerous! Mckinon on the podium witb the females that came 2nd and third.

If you have daughter/s the unisex toilets in schools in Wales has led to girls taking time off and dehydrating to avoid using them. Fully intact males getting changed near dd/s because they self-ID.

Beamur · 16/08/2019 22:00

Is he into sport?
See if he thinks it's fair on women that a man can self ID. Then compete and win pretty easily against biological women.
Martina Navratilova has spoken calmly and rationally about this.

LeftHandDown · 16/08/2019 22:08

LumpySpaced - I had a falling out with a friend's husband who tried to tell me women have too many rights, when pushed he came up with women can vote and can say no to sex! This is a bloke with a wife and 2 daughters; no he's not a great role model.

TurboTeddy · 16/08/2019 22:08

I'd show him a picture of any TW who has an entirely male presentation and tell him that under self ID that person could share a changing room with you and your children. Would he be happy for young females to be exposed to a naked male body?

Here's a MN thread about one such stunning and brave woman.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/2626962-Danielle-Muscato#prettyPhoto

There are some trans anti self ID youtubers out there, maybe he would take notice of them if he won't listen to you, depressing as that is. Rose of Dawn has a whole series called trans stupid.

Spinnaret · 16/08/2019 22:15

There is a great thread here, which really helps. I also have a massively woke DH, who I am having to tread very slowly to get him onside. He is also a massive cricket fan, so I am really hoping that the ECB shit will help him realise. For what feels like forever, he has been trying to convince me that no organisation allows self-ID, that it was all just a consultation, nothing has been changed, blah blah blah...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 16/08/2019 22:36

This was published recently and sums it up very well, I thought:

www.jessdewahls.com/blog/2019/8/5/somewhere-over-the-rainbow-something-went-terribly-wrong

Eggotchi · 17/08/2019 08:53

@justturtles that is a brilliant article.thank you for sharing.

Original poster
Withington · 17/08/2019 09:00

Thanks all - very helpful. In a lot of ways I'm sad to be having to find this info out - as I said earlier in posts, it does feel like we would have thought the same on this only a year or so ago but he's suddenly spouting the Guardian line on it. Cricket stuff is helpful, he is a big sports fan. He is also an amazing Daddy to our DDs - just hoping this gets him to understanding the consequences for them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Withington · 17/08/2019 09:07

@Spinnaret - thanks I think that was the thread I was thinking about!

OP posts:
helpmeiamatoad · 17/08/2019 09:09

Is your husband a grown man? If so I imagine he is able to form his own opinions on things and won’t appreciate the condescension

BillywilliamV · 17/08/2019 09:10

Whereas I was thinking “you can take the man out of Surrey but you can’t take Surrey out of the man!”

Original poster
Withington · 17/08/2019 09:19

@helpmeiamatoad Hmm thanks very helpful. Of course he does - but forming opinion is about having all the facts as I'm sure you're aware so I was asking the helpful people on this forum for pointers about things he wouldn't normally read.

OP posts:
Sicario · 17/08/2019 09:53

A lot of men can't be arsed with it because
(a) it doesn't effect them
(b) it's too complicated
(c) wimmin

andyoldlabour · 17/08/2019 11:50

OP, you could try showing him a collection of typical trans extremist tweets about women, the hatred and anger present in them.

photos.google.com/share/AF1QipOM9J_ZIrYtiMagVRr_jhagMR-XP59TBsJFLwNlcS13iIUT4ovqKRN9zttevr0PmA?key=NmJuV1AyRnVSU3dOS2VObVhLSm1uNUkxRjRBSk9R

Awning10 · 17/08/2019 11:51

Try this:

www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=104&v=uzwMJAFWLtQ

BarberaofSeville · 17/08/2019 11:59

Those tweets. I mean, you see the odd one, but to see them all together, so relentless, it's heartbreaking and frightening. Male violence in all its 'glory'.

As others have said, I will die on this hill.

TheInebriati · 17/08/2019 12:15

He does not match the picture of Mr Right because he's not being woke, he's being a misogynist.
Tell him to stop selling out his wife and daughters, and to keep his opinions on uppity women to himself.

freedomprogramme.co.uk/graphic.php

De-woking DH