De-woking DH

[Withington]

There were a couple of threads on the feminism boards, around getting partners to understand the realities of the trans "debate" for women's rights (pointing in direction of good articles etc) but cant seem to find them on search - probably because I'm doing do ineffectively. Can anyone help? DH is becoming almost unbearably woke on the subject but I find myself not able to adequately articulate what it all will actually mean for our kids! When I told him about some of the ideology being taught as fact in schools he scoffed and said of course that wasn't happening Help me de-woke him!

butteryellow

I think that idea that all differences have been socialised is one that has had some pull in feminism.
I think, if it were my dh I would say two things:

• yes, that idea is out there, but not all feminsists would say so.

- does that seem true to him? Maybe have a good example, something like how does childbearing have a long term effect on women vs men's careers, and could that be socialised away? I think quite a few men have been given the impression they aren't supposed to ask questions that might disagree with what they have heard about women's issues, they might need a push to do it.

I remember trying to tell DH about the difference between radfem and libfem butteryellow he must have incompetently tried to explain this to someone at work, a man, whose response was something like 'she can't be a feminist is she's married' as if all women who call themselves feminists must be man haters. The misunderstanding of this is widespread. I'm guilty of it too. In my twenties I also rejected the label as I misunderstood it but I wear it proudly now.