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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I'm not convinced that feminism has helped the women it should have?

905 replies

soapona · 22/07/2019 13:18

I think on these discussion boards and on my Facebook I see women. They don't insist on marriage so they partner remains married to the ex for years and year, they live together and I wonder what will happen should the man die. I also see women with no security living with men with no intentions of marrying and having children. Women moving in with men too soon. In the days gone by women would and could have insisted on commitment. So now the position for women is worse hanging round waiting for a proposal.

I know they don't have to I'm fairly wealthy and a single parent so have choices and always have. I don't have a lot to gain from marriage.

I'm not sure things have got better for women we are expected to do a lot now two incomes are the usual for a mortgage instead of one in the olden days . So it's a given women work, do the most childcare do we honestly think these thing will change when the power imbalance is there from the beginning?

Also the women marrying "beneath themselves", that's not the correct term but a man earning less and not likely to come into a decent inheritance. What is the point in getting married there if you're a women? Perhaps if the woman is wealthy to avoid inheritance tax for her children but other than that I don't know?

So would woman not be happier marrying the same or above and insisting on marriage early on, like it was a given in days gone by?

Surely Women are now in very risky positions due to this living together in a man's property. I see much more domestic abuse these days. I believe the stats are much higher with non married couples. Surely living together unmarried has been caused by equality and feminism and the very people feminists has been trying to help they've hindered.

OP posts:
soapona · 27/07/2019 17:49

Men who visit brothels have a code of conduct- how can anyone, who isn't a member of the punter and pimp lobby, say that with a straight face?

If they start attacking you verbally or physically they're out. These places have licences from the council, men still have to follow rules of the establishment. Which is better than how some men behave in their "Englishman's Castle".

OP posts:
youkiddingme · 27/07/2019 17:51

No I'm just saying that marriage isn't prostitution and blaming all that on marriage rather than on men isn't helpful.
And you say comparing marriage to prostitution is valid yet comparing prostitution to rape isn't. Men will love that.
I didn't say no prostitute has respect for herself. But I do believe that no man who uses a prostitute has respect for her or for women.

soapona · 27/07/2019 17:51

@YourSarcasmIsDripping

On the other hand we have girls and women that have had injuries and even died during cam work. Without even being in the room with an actual man they have been harmed in their attempt to satisfy some random man's sexual needs.

I dare say the A&E Department are full of similar injuries from "equal partnerships"

OP posts:
LassOfFyvie · 27/07/2019 17:54

I suppose I should concede that I argued on one of today's busy threads that one need not be a feminist to engage in discussion here.

Following that and as a supporter of free speech I suppose I should not object when a punter lobbyist posts here.

LassOfFyvie · 27/07/2019 17:56

I didn't say no prostitute has respect for herself
You most definitely did not say that. It was a wilful twisting of what you said.

But I do believe that no man who uses a prostitute has respect for her or for women

100% true.

youkiddingme · 27/07/2019 17:57

I'm off to smack myself round the head with a frying pan make food.
No insult intended to anyone, pure frustration at my lack of ability to express myself as clearly as I would like.

soapona · 27/07/2019 18:01

*@youkiddingme
*
But I do believe that no man who uses a prostitute has respect for her or for women.

What about men who cohabit have children and leave a woman and his children without security? I think this one is worse as the prostitute got paid and the transaction is complete. If the man that visits a prostitute has no respect I suppose the commitment shy cohabiter is a woman hater! Massive generalisation isn't it!

OP posts:
LassOfFyvie · 27/07/2019 18:01

youkiddingme

Cake

There is nothing wrong with your ability to express yourself. Other posters, however, appear to have a lack of comprehension skills, or more likely, are deliberatly twisting what you said.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 27/07/2019 18:16

You didn't get my point. You can't proclaim how safe and controlled brothels are when men don't even have to be in the room with a woman for her to be harmed.

However, given your increasing rhetoric about how cohabiting is worse than prostitution I have a feeling you DO NOT want to get it.

youkiddingme · 27/07/2019 18:18

Thank you Lass - I'm very new to all this and not very articulate so that is reassuring.

soapona would you mind not keep tagging me please? I am getting a lot of emails generated from all the tags. If you wish to get my attention bold within the thread works well. Thank you. I don't think I know the answer to your last question anyway, but I'm glad you're giving it all some thought.

soapona · 27/07/2019 18:19

@YourSarcasmIsDripping That is true but men can be abusive regardless of weather they are paying for it or not.

OP posts:
Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 27/07/2019 18:19

youkiddingme

Your posts seemed straightforward to me, you seemed to be expressing yourself absolutely fine

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 27/07/2019 18:19

Cross post

I swear to god that was a cross post

I got distracted by my beer

soapona · 27/07/2019 18:21

youkiddingme Understood!

OP posts:
youkiddingme · 27/07/2019 18:23

Thank you also rufus Ah beer, that's the answer!

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 27/07/2019 18:27

men can be abusive and are.

That is the crux of the problem, not if women are married,cohabiting or having wild monkey sex every second Thursday with a new guy.

Also one of your posts seems to imply that prostitutes are better off because they're paid for it(the sex,the abuse)That's an extreme minimisation and dismissal of their lives,experiences and traumas.

Your views are at best inconsistent and at worst hypocritical with a touch of an agenda(whatever that might be).

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 27/07/2019 18:33

Its always the answer you

Its the fucking question I can’t remember!!

StopThePlanet · 27/07/2019 21:47

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer

youkiddingme

Your posts seemed straightforward to me, you seemed to be expressing yourself absolutely fine

SecondedWine

youkiddingme · 27/07/2019 21:58

thank you StopThePlanet and Gin Cake all round to those who need fortifying for another day.

LordRudolphVII · 27/07/2019 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LassOfFyvie · 27/07/2019 22:54

Whilst the statement is clearly absurd you really can't use language like that Rudolph.

LordRudolphVII · 27/07/2019 23:07

Apologies, I've never thought of it as that offensive a word. I'd be more offended to be called the c word.

sakura184 · 27/07/2019 23:09

Which is better than how some men behave in their "Englishman's Castle

MaeWest1890 quotes that every 16 hours in the US a woman is killed by her current or former partner. I think it's 2 a week in the UK. So what we do know is that there's more chance of you getting killed by your husband or boyfriend than by a random

We also know that the most dangerous time for a woman is when she tries to leave because that's when he actually goes ahead and kills her.
What we don't know ,and can't know, is how many women stay in marriages because they are aware of this

We also know that battery often begins when the wife falls pregnant. Once she's pregnant and with kids it's very hard to leave a marriage, she is essentially stuck, even in 2019.

I know there are happy housewife types just like there are happy hooker types

sakura184 · 27/07/2019 23:10

But my marriage is fine is just NAMALT and I thought that was generally frowned upon on FWR

LordRudolphVII · 27/07/2019 23:31

I don't see many happy looking 'hookers' when I'm driving along the Hagley/Soho road at night, tbh.

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