Probably should be in AIBU but I wanted the opinions of the feminism crowd in particular...
We've always taught my 7 yo daughter the correct anatomical names for her body - vulva, vagina, etc. A few days ago, when DD was off to the loo at a party, I was reminding her privately to wipe carefully after a poo so that the skin on her bottom and vulva didn't get sore (she sometimes still doesn't wipe very well and then ends up with irritated skin). Thought nothing of it until a while later a mum who I'm normally quite friendly with came up to me and took issue with this, saying she had overheard me, and her daughter didn't know that word, and she was deeply shocked as she had never heard of anyone who used that word to a child and then (!) quite literally went on to compare it to child abuse. I was so taken aback that I didn't quite know what to say and am now terrified of her going about telling other mums I'm some sort of sex abuser! Also pretty offended at this, and at being told it's inappropriate to have "taught her that word". It seemed to be particularly the use of "vulva" that she objected to - she said even vagina would be better despite being literally incorrect (DD knows the difference between the two and though we do also refer to "bits" or "private parts" in general, I was very specifically referring to the vulva rather than the vagina in my comment).
But this is ridiculous, right? It's perfectly rational and normal to use the anatomically correct terms, even if it's still not run of the mill? I mean they've all had their first lot of PSHE and as far as I know were taught the correct anatomical terms at school.
My mum always used the euphemistic "bottom" and it was horrendously confusing - you basically had to work it out from context which bit she meant. I'm not keen on it being seen as essentially dirty and shameful, either, which "bottom" implies; nor on calling it something daft like "tuppence". I did some research on this - partly on MN! - when DD was about 2 and as far as I recall it was actually considered good safeguarding practice to use the correct terms (as well as empowering and good for reducing stigma about the female body). Has this become really weird in the last couple of years, or is other mum just a nut? Wondering if anyone has any good resources on why it's good to teach your child the correct terms, so I can send them to her to prove I'm not some child-abusing weirdo?
I thought things had become a bit better over the last few years or so about this but clearly I'm wrong. Is the female body really still considered so shameful and inappropriate that a 7 yo knowing that her vulva is called a vulva is so outrageous?
[As an aside on a completely other note, DD reported to me that Young Woke Male TA corrected her during their PSHE lesson when she said that females have uteruses. "He said that not all people with uteruses are females, mummy, wasn't that silly of him?" Was glad to hear this week that Young Woke Male TA is off to another school...]