BBC Gaslighting again...

[NeurotrashWarrior]

'I didn't understand what transgender was' www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-48453164

Look at the film.

Wife talks about mourning.

Transed partner talks at length about how they now do everything together and are so close.

There's more I'd add but I don't want to be deleted.

I'm glad they appear to be very happy; I feel terribly sad for the wife.

My previous post was deleted.

I just got a post reinstated by reporting it and asking why it was deleted. They had another look at it and decided it was OK after all. I nearly always ask them why when they delete my posts - if I don't know what rule I've broken I can't avoid doing it again. And sometimes they've just been too over-enthusiastic with the delete button and it goes back up.

Cripes that is a terrible and joyless video. The difference between the aspirational words and the flatness and misery of their faces...was no editor actually looking at these people? I felt like I was seeing coercive control in action.

There's nothing wrong with the roller blading - go to Chicago (and other such cities) and it's not unusual to see adults roller blading by the lake but they are much better at it

I'm sure; but in this case it is just 'Charlotte' who is doing the roller-blading while the children look on in indulgent fashion.

It must be distressing to transition, then find that instead of everyone thinking you're a beautiful woman, strangers notice immediately that you're male, and are unkind. I wonder how Charlotte envisioned the future when planning the grand adventure, if wife and children figured as large as they do now in their shielding role.

See, I know what it's like to have a family where a parent goes through a massive confidence breakdown in full view of the kids, and subsequently finds a coping mechanism. Those voiceovers from the kids are pregnant with all the desperation they have to not have 'Charlotte' disappear down a spiral again. This 'normal' that they are pretending to enjoy, of watching their father prance about being inspirational and positive, looks like it's marginally better than living with the more overtly negative version.

But let's not anyone pretend that there are any real pluses to this scenario. The wife is clearly swallowing back tears at one point, and despite the phrases the kids are saying, there is no corresponding conviction in their faces.

One of the worst things I've seen for a long time, and I'm only commenting again because someone sent it to me so I watched it again and it all oozed out of the screen again.

Workingitout - I wondered if the camera person or editor saw exactly what was going on? Hard to avoid seeing how the wife's face was working in distress when the camera focused on her at certain times.

Do you think the girl didn't introduce the older brother as he wasn't 100% committed to taking part in the piece?

He didn't look happy IIRC

Weird to have him in the VT but not to introduce him.

The whole thing was so contrived. The teenage daughter picking out outfits with her “mum”- bleugh. The rollerblading, which I have no problem with an adult doing. In fact we went biking round the park the other day and saw a family out, the kids and mum were in Banana bikes and the dad and older teen lad were on rollarblades - looked like fun... and just average “stuff parents do with their kids”, it was the fact that the mum was carrying the shoes and videoing that bothered me in the VT. New shiny Charlotte gets to recreate her youth whilst mum gets to do the wife work as per.

I also found the kids calling their parent “Charlotte” uncomfortable because clearly “dad” is now verboten but they can’t bring themselves to swallow the dissonance of calling them mum.

All the family seemed to be trying to avoid being filmed apart from Charlotte. Hanging back, looking down, hats over their faces. But sadly I doubt the BBC sees this for what it is and just thinks it’s fantastic.

Someone send Agneiska (sorry cannot spell) a link to the trans widows threads please!

I watched it with the sound off. I recommend it because you really focus on how people are saying things rather than the words they are speaking.

Agnieska definitely needs a link to the transwidows thread. Poor woman looks broken :(

Oh that sideways eye at her when she was talking on the sofa. She went off script, obviously.

I tee felt really sorry for the wife who has obviously had a shit time (and still is) but has been told by Charlotte that it's all hunky dory, and by society too in such a way that if she now left because of how unhappy it's making her, she'd be branded transphobic. However, I hope she knows she still can if she wants.

The most sickening thing for me was how Charlotte seems to think spending time with your kids is something they can do because they're now a woman. How fucking sexist is that? What did he do before? How the fuck must the wife feel if he wasn't very involved and now "Charlotte" is because make-up and dresses mean you can go shopping and do stuff with your DC.

However if you would like a wee bit more parity, Radio 4 seems slightly better at this (probably get beaten round the head with more letters from feminists). They had a transwoman talking about their experience and then gave equal time to a separate piece from the wife who didn't pull any punches as I recall.

When I was a teenager my hair would have stood on end at the thought of being 'a unit' with the rest of my family. I wanted to be off with my own friends, not hanging out with my parents. All that bullshit about "before we were five individuals, now we're one unit!". Yeah, because everyone has to kow tow to Charlotte's stunning new identity and pretend it's all wonderful.

Surely what you want for your children is for them to be individuals 😣😥

I agree with every single comment on this thread. Took an instant scunner to Charlotte. Gave out creepy vibes to me.

That poor woman just looked so sad. Even when she smiled. Charlotte just looked so self satisfied that Charlotte had control of the entire famiy. I hope that woman and kids break free.

This was very sad to watch, the kids and wife have been made to feel emotionally responsible for maintaining one of the parents happiness and stopping their emotional meltdowns - which is not their responsibility to do and is an emotionally abusive way to have to live always walking on eggshells. The wife’s and kid’s own emotional needs didn’t even figure.

The kids and wife are shielding the emotionally fragile member of the family from wider society 24/7. I hope they can all get therapy to get some support and hope that things turn out ok for them.

Emotionally fragile is a nice way to phrase it.

Charlotte flinging their entire body weight onto their wife and children in a pre-rehearsed move shocks me every time I watch it. You can see them all bracing themselves.

The video made me think of cases of coercive control where the father has had such tight control of the family and when they finally try to break free, there are terrible consequences. I just hope we never see this family in the news again.

OrchidInTheSun - that and leaving in the sideways eye and the wife's visible distress makes me wonder if there wasn't someone GC in loved with making the programme, who left a trail of breadcrumbs. That, or the whole production crew were completely oblivious to the pain, and the control being exercised.

Involved. Bloody autocorrect

There is none of the usual body language when people agree with what another person is saying. Eye contact, nodding along and making agreeing noises. No mobility of face muscles at all.

I watched with sound off, subtitles only. Interesting that there is a comment in there like “it’s not normal for guys to have makeup up”. But why not? When I was a teenager tons of boys and men - famous and regular men alike - were experimenting with makeup. Wearing makeup =/ woman and woman =/ wearing makeup.

Watching that video the sense I got was a family catering to “Charlotte’s” delusions of a fun happy family 24/7 because living with him when he was moping around the house and sulking was so miserable they don’t want to go back to that.