Forth Valley Rape Crisis Centre

[JackyHolyoake]

Watch this video

www.facebook.com/MyGenderation/videos/601908816953900/

Can you imagine how a women's relatives might react if they discovered that the abuse had been discussed with someone they perceived as a man.

The manager is male.
The women seeking supportive services should not be manipulated into receiving counselling from a male.
A women-only service has the right to single sex exemption but there's little chance when the manager is male having achieved the job by deception (non-disclosure).

For any role working with children or vulnerable adults any deception/non-disclosure would usually be grounds for dismissal/ disciplinary action. The foundation of these jobs is Safeguarding. Trust and personal integrity are key.

The management committee of the service have failed the service users by prioritising the needs of a male worker.

I realise her experience, described as 'sniper fire' in a boys school is different to that faced by a woman in similar culturally conservative patriarchal communities. But having gone through that experience she ought to be able to work out why it might be doubly difficult for a women from similar communities to receive outside help and from someone who might be considered a man by family members, possibly abusers.

It sounds like some power/revenge thing is going on, and that vulnerable women are not being centred.

Why would a male from a culturally conservative patriarchal community have any understanding of women's experience?

Seems a big leap.

Listen to a woman such as Fiona Proudfoot talk about the work she does with sexually abused women and girls.

I didn't hear empathy, understanding or commitment to abused women's needs

I saw a male person asserting their rights for validation and performing /appropriating oppresion.

For any role working with children or vulnerable adults any deception/non-disclosure would usually be grounds for dismissal/ disciplinary action. The foundation of these jobs is Safeguarding. Trust and personal integrity are key.

Agreed.

Rowan, I am not sure we are disagreeing.

Because of her background she ought to bloody well know that it is inappropriate for her to work with women from that community. It seems to be all about her.

Signpost: There are some over-stretched, but really good services specifically for BAME women in Scotland, like Shakti and Amina. Not that a BAME woman should be precluded from accessing any other service of course, but if anyone reading feels they now can't access Forth Valley for cultural reasons, there are alternatives.

I was most fascinated by their claim to be a mother.

Needmoresleep

Im not disagreeing with you. I am appalled at this case.

This is a male in all women's services.

Its gaslighting and manipulation to coerce women not to identify a male in such a position of power.

My focus will always be the women needing the service.
Not the male manager.
Not the TRA film maker
Not the imagined family

The women who have sought support following male violence, rape, sexual assault & been let down by a service which was supposed to be the last safety net.

Because of her background she ought to bloody well know that it is inappropriate for her to work with women from that community. It seems to be all about her.

Can I recommend this article by Barra Kerr?

extract)
"Incongruent pronouns also make your brain work much harder; not just when you are using them, but when you are receiving them as information. You are working constantly to keep that story straight in your head. Male or female? Which one, again? Concentrate harder. Ignore your instincts, ignore your reaction.

And that’s just you. You’re already aware of all the pertinent information, already alert, you know the score, no flies on you.

And you’re still affected emotionally and instinctively by incongruent pronouns, nouns, and names. Despite your efforts to be immune. You’re not immune to this effect. You can know perfectly the actual sex of a male person, and yet you will still react differently if someone calls them she instead of he.

So what then, is the impact on everyone who isn't even aware yet, hasn't fully comprehended yet what’s going on?" (continues)

medium.com/@barrakerr/pronouns-are-rohypnol-dbcd1cb9c2d9

Too angry for words about this.

Sneaky, underhand, self-serving, no self awareness, completely incapable of considering the position MW is putting everyone (including 13 year old girls who have been raped!!!) in because all MW thinks about is Mridul and how Mridul can use Mridul's deceptively-achieved platform to manipulate and promote Mridul's-self. And make everything about Mridul. Including a public twitter woe-is-me post about how traumatic it was for Mridul to attend the discussion about women's rights and spaces (that Mridul publicly begged to go to) that Mridul had to eye-roll and laugh at women's views, because Mridul's trauma triggers are valid, but rape victims' trauma responses are bigotry.

Fuck this shit.

Eeesh, this bit:

I really understood when people started speaking about the civil war in Syria and the use of snipers. That's the analogy I use. A sniper would hit me every day, multiple times. From name calling to sexual violence, all of that happened, all the time.

I do not mean to minimise street harassment, which is very serious but this tone is way off. When hearing the actual experience of dealing with real life snipers from refugees you're there to support, thats your takeaway message? That it's a good analogy for unpleasant street harassment??

Squishy Yes, utterly inappropriate.

This person says they don't feel guilt.
I really question whether they feel empathy.

I do not mean to minimise street harassment, which is very serious but this tone is way off. When hearing the actual experience of dealing with real life snipers from refugees you're there to support, thats your takeaway message? That it's a good analogy for unpleasant street harassment??

I used to work with someone who had escaped from the Balkans war by the skin of their teeth, seeing people shot and killed as they got out. MW is being absolutely stupid (and I've experienced quite a lot of street harassment in my time, including indecent assault).

If anyone can bear to sit through the Engender podcast on GRA reform which they did after they cancelled the public meeting, it is instructive (and horribly smug). MW is on with another TW, Becky Kaufmann of Scottish Trans. MW mentions role in training volunteers and how they check attitudes to diversity. MW specifies that by this they are going beyond racial diversity while keeping the space women only.

Clearly Mridul believes, as stated in film and student interview, they are part of that women only space, so I imagine what form this "beyond racial diversity" takes. It's horribly disingenuous!

Also, have seen reference to fact that while RCS use schedule 9 occupational req in job ads, they include transwomen in that, which sort of defeats point. This tweet has an extract where MW argued at Parliament that the requirement (which reserves certain jobs for one sex) is unnecessary in VAW sector and should be done away with - which is eye popping!
twitter.com/tempie321/status/1131506817228525569?s=20

"while RCS use schedule 9 occupational req in job ads, they include transwomen in that, which sort of defeats point"

and presumably invalidates it.

Surely it would be illegal to prefer a man who self IDs as a woman over a better qualified man who does not.

MW is on with another TW, Becky Kaufmann of Scottish Trans.

Kaufman wrote the disingenous recent Time Opinion piece:
"We've Never Believed in Silencing Debate'

interesting thread with drive-by visitor:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3593037-Weve-never-believed-in-silencing-debate

from the link previously,

'Here’s the part of Mridul’s submission to the trans equality committee'

This is a demonstration of regulatory capture in Women's services which Mridul now identifies as belonging to Mridul.

Look at the language.... the person centred is Mridul.

This is completely at odds with the principles of supportive Women's services.

see summary comment in screenshot by Mridul. It is telling.

Good to hear JoanMcAlpine reporting,

"Women's Aid worker who spoke from the floor came to this conclusion after consulting service users. They said they wanted single sex services. "

cf Bex Stinson who was head of Stonewall's Trans inclusion at the time, comments last year at conference:

reported by Pratchet who was there:

"Bex Stinson was asked how they got Scotland to cave so quickly and said it was because they had private conversation in private rooms with the people who provide services, not people who use them. I mean, that's how brazen and confident they were, to come out and say that and not think there's anything bad about it. That is over. Women are watching."

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3268237-Westminster-Social-Policy-forum-today-Next-steps-for-transgender-Equality-WSPFEvents?pg=2

I am disgusted by Mridul’s behaviour in this. They deliberately did not disclose their trans status because they knew they might not be offered the job. Rather than having an empathy and understanding about why this might be, they lied. And only disclosed it when they were already employed, by which time they would be able to launch an unfair dismissal claim using the trans status to argue discrimination. Given how tight funds are for rape crisis centres, they would never have been able to fight a legal challenge. Mridul obtained the job by deception and has continued in that position because they know that they have a legal and financial threat if they’re dismissed.

I don't know what it feels like to be guilty or ashamed

While a shame response doesn't provide much that is useful, and can certainly be damaging, the emotion of guilt is pretty important because it ensures we consider the impact of our actions on others. It's part of a moral compass. Of course, some people don't feel guilt.

I find Mridul's obsession with diversity and policing diversity views in a sector mainly used by white heterosexual girls bizarre.
Many Indian villages aren't diverse. If I went to India and said I wanted to focus on white women because they were a minority I'd be rightly considered racist.
If Mridul wants to prioritise people from Mridul's own ethnic back ground why didn't Mridul remain in India and work with rape victims ther? I'm sure there's a need for that in India. Why come to an fairly white area of Scotland?
Diversity is irrelevant when dealing with rape. You don't discriminate against women due to their colour and background but a raped woman is a raped woman. Some aren't more deserving than others.

An Asian transwoman wanting Asian transwomen to be prioritised isn't campaigning for diversity but putting their own needs before those of people who are different to them. It's ordinary self centred ness. "I think people like me should be put first".

I am disgusted by Mridul’s behaviour in this. They deliberately did not disclose their trans status because they knew they might not be offered the job.

Mridul deliberately did not disclose being male

This is the issue.

It is not about 'trans status' it is about being male in the women's sector.

It would not be an issue for a female applicant with a 'trans status'

This is not about identifying as 'trans' its about sex. Women's sex based rights, male violence and male entiitlement.

My apologies R0wantrees I didn’t phrase that very well but I think we’re making the same point. They did not deliberately disclose that they were not female (and I would call them male though they may well disagree with that) in order to be considered for the job. That is deceitful and reprehensible behaviour particularly given the job they were applying for.

Muststopfaffing No, Im sorry. I wasn't correcting your language but trying to illustrate how language obfuscates the key issues.
We are definitely making the same point.

TRAs have been using 'trans identity' as the issue deliberately, its not.

Its manipulative.
Mridul has been and is being manipulative.
Given the nature of Mridul's role this is utterly inappropriate.