What the actually fucking fuck?

[ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47934685

"I only wanted to pretend to shoot her and her new partner - it was an accident."

What the actual fuck is wrong with men? Why? Every day it's another horrific story like this.

Absolutely fucking horrifying. That poor, poor woman. And the baby, I’m so pleased he’s alive but oh that poor wee scrap

I wish we could find a way to completely stop the idea that women are the property of men.

What a fucking liar. That poor poor woman and her poor children.

No prizes for guessing why he wasn’t allowed to see his kids and had a restraining order against him.

It's a patent nonsense. Hiding out in their shed overnight? Yeah, just meant to scare her, obviously.

The problem is that as horrific as this is, there are so many men who behave like this. It's horrific. And some people still deny that there's an issue with male violence.

Horrifying - armed with two crossbows and a knife.

Rest in peace, Sana Muhammad.

some people still deny that there's an issue with male violence.

Of course some men are violent, but not the entire male race. That would be grossly generalising and unfair.

When they go to war there's a hell of a lot of them doing the killing.

And may he go to hell. He has deprived his own children of their mother too. Scum.

Oh fgs. Really? On this thread?

Men are not a race. Yes there is an issue with male violence, which is not the same as saying that every man is violent. Obviously.

Sana Muhammad should have been enjoying her new baby, but instead an appalling act of violence was committed against her and her unborn baby. By a man who thought he had the right to do what he wanted with her and her baby.

Six posts in for the namalt !

Poor woman and her all children.

Oops wrong story, I thought this was the one from yesterday. Where a man killed two of his children, his partner and the man he thought she was having an affair with. He let his youngest survive as that child was more like him.

It's not surprising that these incidents get confused for each other, as they are so frequent and similarly violent.

And some people still deny that there's an issue with male violence.

This is a juvenile oversimplification of the issue. These are two people who were in an arranged marriage, who should never ever have been together. It's a problem of culture and consent; the idea that it's acceptable to force two people to get married against their will. This type of violence is normalised in ultra-conservative cultures in which these types of marriages are the norm.

The accident story might’ve been slightly more believable if she hadn’t been hit in the ‘abdomen’.

Sana was 8 months pregnant. Her ‘abdomen’ was pretty much all baby bump.

This man already had a restraining order against him, banning him from contacting his children.

So a history of unreasonable and controlling behaviour at the absolute minimum - I'd be surprised if there was no violence by the perpetrator prior to the murder.

Luke and Ryan Hart on Twitter. Luke and Ryan suffered the loss of their mother and sister, who were killed by their father.

"The law isn't designed for women and children. It was designed to protect men's rights to their private lives, which meant control over 'their' resources including women and children, and continues to do so"

twitter.com/CoCoAwareness/status/1116971719149932545

They were not talking about this case. But it seems apt.

Oh. And again. Great.

Is violence not male if it is normalised in certain cultures?

*which is not the same as saying that every man is violent."

But it is a truth that men do nothing to stop or deter this violence so the question is: does their silence render them complicit?

TopBitch
I,like you, hate NAMALT comments but people invite when they link a case like this to men in general.

The OPs comment "What the f..." comment openly invites NAMALT then peoplt complain about them.

Luke and Ryan's father was not in an arranged marriage with their mother.

Clodagh Hawe was not in an arranged marriage with Alan Hawe.

Unmathallegadoo had split from his ex-wife in 2012 and wasn't even in a marriage any more.

But it's not just a bunch of individual, is it? I mean, I get the NAMALT comments, I do. I have a son, and brothers, and a partner. I know that NAMALT. But when this shit is happening every other day every single week every where in the world it stops being a bunch of isolated cases driven by specific dynamics. If that's what it was we'd see loads of stories of women killing me, but we don't. This is a group problem. This is men, as a sex class, being unbelievably and constantly violent to women, as a sex class.

So I stand by my question: what is wrong with men? Do they all have the capacity for this but many are socialised out of it, or at least deterred from it by law? Is it driven by testosterone or some other biological agent? Or is it all society/ religion/ culture that drives people who would otherwise have had no natural inclination for violence to commit terrible violence? Or both? Men are doing this to women, overwhelmingly, so it's not "why are people killing people?" or "why did this specific husband kill his wife" its "why, globally, and for all of human history, are men killing women, children, and other men?"

These are two people who were in an arranged marriage, who should never ever have been together. It's a problem of culture and consent; the idea that it's acceptable to force two people to get married against their will. This type of violence is normalised in ultra-conservative cultures in which these types of marriages are the norm.

Funny how the women in this scenario manage not to arm themselves with crossbows and knives and go and kill their exes, isn't it? It's almost as if there is only one sex that acts like this.

Someone who is doing NAMALT address war please.

Men are doing this to women, overwhelmingly, so it's not "why are people killing people?" or "why did this specific husband kill his wife" its "why, globally, and for all of human history, are men killing women, children, and other men?"

Exactly OP. I loathe the NAM brigade. Yes. Obviously, NAMALT. But AAPLTAM. This is a problem within the class of men.

This is an issue taking up a lot of my thinking time at present, ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving.

I have always had men in my life in whose company I felt entirely safe. They're more likely to fly in the air than thump me. But I've been in an abusive relationship and still bear the scars.

There's a NYT article that examines violence in boys lives. www.nytimes.com/2019/03/30/opinion/sunday/boys-men-violence.html.

I was discussing it with DS1 earlier. I said I was interested in the difference between the gentle souls and the thugs. I was surprised to hear that he doesn't think there's all that much difference. Given adequate provocation - someone attacking me or his girlfriend - DS1 would get violent very rapidly.

He thinks it's down to testosterone, though we both know it's more complex than that

I agree about men as a group and silence. I have sons, a father and partner. Yet I still don’t understand why men as a group don’t stop this violence. Why is it left to women to shout about it?

Male violence is seen as natural and inevitable - like the weather. We're not supposed to name it if we're criticising it though.