Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What would you say to a man in the ladies’ toilets?

78 replies

Victoriapestis01 · 14/04/2019 21:02

Hi, I’ve asked this question on another thread so sorry for banging on about it. It has preyed on my mind.

I’d like to know what polite yet assertive response it is possible to give to a man using a women’s toilet in say, a shop, theatre or other public place. For instance: ‘ This is the womens toilet, could you please go elsewhere so I can use a single sex facility’?

I have myself been in the position of encountering a man, alone, in an open plan changing room. I frightened, embarrassed, undignified, intruded upon, and angry, and flung on my clothes in the locked toilet cubicle, then rushed off, leaving him alone in the changing room that said ‘women’ on the door.

Next time this happens I’d like to say something, but what? What would you say?

Work is of course a completely different issue. Any HR people on here, what can a woman say in this position without endangering her livelihood? (We’ve had guidance at work to the effect that men can use the women’s toilets if they feel female.)

Please note that I have deliberately not used the word transwoman in this post. If I meet a man in the ladies I will have no idea of how he classifies himself, or any interest in this question. I’ll just know he is a man. So that is what my question focuses on, men, as a biological class, whether bearded and in biker gear or coiffured and in make up, whether trans or non-binary identifying or anything else. Men, in the women’s toilet.

OP posts:
DocMarteens · 17/04/2019 18:38

I won't share a lift (elevator) with a male (when alone) so I've had to rethink sending my daughter unaccompanied into the toilets because I don't know whether males would be in there.

I really hate this situation that one small aspect of my privacy has now become another area I have to be vigilant to. I sometimes think WWID?

I'd like to think I would leave and shout to any males nearby to come and help me deal with the situation, I wouldn't feel safe to challenge especially with children and especially with all the hatred I see expressed towards women by the TRAs. Although I would probably leave, wait outside until they are gone then use the facilities.

It's just rubbish isn't it...

Bollockingfuck · 17/04/2019 20:35

For those who can’t understand why men in toilets / changing rooms might be different from men in other places.
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html%3famp

reallyanotherone · 17/04/2019 20:51

For those who can’t understand why men in toilets / changing rooms might be different from men in other places

It does always strike me that there are many women that don’t see a problem with men in toilets/changing rooms, but there are millions of threads about sons in swimming pools and how the mens change is full of paedos waiting to pounce and so these sons must use the womens, even up to teenage years.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page