Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The NSPCC aren't right about this are they?

326 replies

Macareaux · 04/04/2019 17:51

Oh wise and knowledgeable women of Mumsnet I don't think the EA2010 does this at all does it? I'm not 100% certain so don't want to wade in.

The NSPCC aren't right about this are they?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
ChickenonaMug · 06/04/2019 00:02

Thanks Truth and Pombear. I am often in awe of the posts of you both and many others such as Lang and Datun. I can't do what some of you do but I can share my experiences and subsequent insight.

I am not on twitter but I am absolutely fine if anyone wants to share it.

And thanks for the flowers.

Datun · 06/04/2019 00:44

ChickenonaMug

That's an incredible post.

It's amazing that you can articulate your experience in such a way. Undeniable and irrefutable.

I'm not on Twitter either, but I would like the CEO of the NSPCC to address that post personally.

Women like you are the whole point of the NSPCC. It's you they are serving.

What is their answer to you?

BitOfFun · 06/04/2019 00:48

From the letter that @HandsOffMyRights posted: " There has also been a spike in hate crime against trans people* "

Where is the evidence for this? Are they including the various fracas caused by TRAs attempting to stop women meeting to discuss the Gender Recognition Act?

hipsterfun · 06/04/2019 01:59

thank you for your work in this area, I'm so sorry the hoard of transphobes have descended on you. hope your social media team are okay

Thanks for messaging us - the social team are busy and hard at work and we're all ok, thank you.

Needy approval seeker meets social media martyrs.

RepealTheGRA · 06/04/2019 07:14

Flowers ChickenonaMug

Penny Mourdant ignoring your post is still the the thing I’m most upset/angry about from that entire shit show.

CottonDuvet · 06/04/2019 07:16

Regulatory Capture was a new term to me yesterday (thanks Lang) and after this thread I'm a believer!

GerryblewuptheER · 06/04/2019 07:20

chicken Flowers

FermatsTheorem · 06/04/2019 07:56

Chicken Flowers

Knicknackpaddyflak · 06/04/2019 08:18

Since we know from bitter experience 'hate crime' means things like not being agreed with, those statistics are utterly meaningless. Frankly if there were real crimes being committed it would be front page news every time, which is why the TW in France made national news. The drama and hyperbole and relentless exaggeration means i can no longer believe anything much said by AWAs. And they have to own that.

BlytheSpiritsSpirit · 06/04/2019 08:37

Merseyside Equality Consortium has publicly invited the NSPCC to speak at their upcoming event on child safeguarding and supporting gender nonconforming children.

I wonder if they'll actually attend.

twitter.com/MerseyEquality/status/1114428575179005953

LangCleg · 06/04/2019 09:26

More Flowers from me, Chicken. What a courageous and articulate post.

teawamutu · 06/04/2019 09:27

Who might pick this up? Janice Turner? Andrew Gilligan? Sanchez Manning?

FloralBunting · 06/04/2019 09:32

Chicken

Melroses · 06/04/2019 09:55

Flowers Chicken

So, from what I understand, NSPCC are relying on their pants advice, that perpetrators have been caught and convicted and are picked up by the enhanced criminal history check. But their advice puts organisations on the back foot should anything occur so the perpetrator will be long gone and not picked up by DBS?

Estcarpwitch · 06/04/2019 10:11

Chicken Flowers

wrathofVitriolKlop · 06/04/2019 10:28

Chicken

Your post was excellent.

Your lived experience helps us to understand more fully. Flowers

HandsOffMyRights · 06/04/2019 10:35

Who might pick this up? Janice Turner? Andrew Gilligan? Sanchez Manning?

James Kirkup liked one of the tweets I noticed, so hoping he's already on this (which he will be, as I think he has namechecked the NSPCC before when they cancelled their Mumsnet Q&A).

R0wantrees · 06/04/2019 10:36

The NSPCC is completely failing sexually abused girls and as I wrote at the beginning it has often been adverts that have been about abused girls that have brought in the money for them. And their directors' salaries are not small. I feel that women and girls like me have been used by them and then our needs ignored and abandoned. The NSPCC disgust me.

Also, I have watched despairingly in the last few hours as the NSPCC have thanked people on twitter for their messages in which they have called the women raising valid concerns: bigots and transphobes.

To the NSPCC, I do not care what I am called I will continue to do what I can to ensure that the safety, wellbeing, recovery and social integration of sexually abused girls is not impacted by policies or practices that do not consider their needs and rights. Balancing the rights of vulnerable children was always going to be extremely difficult, but the NSPCC should have properly acknowledged this and then helped other organisations to understand the different conflicting needs and their impact within a legal and safeguarding framework and subsequently come up with appropriate solutions. The NSPCC could have led the way with this and done what was expected of them but instead...

This^^

ChickenonaMug Flowers & Star

Thank you for what I believe is one of the most important & eloquent posts I have read on this board.

Silencing & smearing the voices of girls & women abused is a key pattern of abusers.
Attempts to silence & smear those speaking up for Safeguarding & the protection of girls' safety, privacy & dignity should always be a red flag
When charities & organisations charged with the Safeguarding children collude with silencing & smearing, horror, despair and disgust is entirely appropriate.

We must carry on speaking up in whatever ways we can.

Jessica Eaton (Victim Focus) may be a useful contact to amplify your crucial points. [twitter.com/Jessicae13Eaton

(I have posted your comment in full on the Safeguarding Framework failings thread)

wrathofVitriolKlop · 06/04/2019 10:36

I agree Cotton
Bumping this as it is Regulatory Capture in action.

[https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/.../3541908-Regulatory-capture]]

People need to know.

wrathofVitriolKlop · 06/04/2019 10:37

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/.../3541908-Regulatory-capture

Clicky

ForeverFaithless · 06/04/2019 11:41

Chickonamug Flowers

ZebrasAreBras · 06/04/2019 13:15

The NSPCC's accounts showed income falling by £9 million pounds in 2018

Interesting.

28,000 people stopping regular payments

I was one of the 28,000.

I had been paying a small amount every month - when I cancelled my standing order, I noticed that I had been paying this for 17 years.

I cancelled because of the NSPCC's non-appearance at the MN Webchat last year and their complete failure to address concerns raised by parents about their safeguarding policies.

I will not support children's charities who ignore very valid safeguarding concerns.

ZebrasAreBras · 06/04/2019 13:21

Incidentally, David Nott Foundation gets that money now.

I was very moved after hearing him talk (and his appearance on Desert Island Discs).

An altogether better example of a good doctor and decent man than Harrop, I think we'll all agree.

ChickenonaMug · 06/04/2019 13:25

Thank you everyone for the flowers.

I really am so worried about the impact that all this will have on girls and young women who have been sexually abused. There is a direct conflict of needs and rights that needs addressing and the NSPCC really should have been the ones with the understanding and ability to address it. Because they are not acknowledging the issue then it means that all the other organisations think that if the NSPCC aren't acknowledging an issue, then they do need to try and understand or address the issue either.

The NSPCC really are completely failing abused girls.

I could write so much on this by drawing on my past. I respect a person's need to identify themselves as they do. However, one of the most important things that a groomed and abused child must learn is that they have the right to recognise someone else as they need to in order to assess risks and safeguard themselves. To a sexual abused girl the recognition of a person's sex is absolutely fundamental and even more than that will probably become part of her instinctive and trauma-based response. I can not help reacting to males not matter what I do and no matter how they identify. This does not make me or any other girl/women abuse survivor, transphobic or bigoted.

I am at a point in my life where in most circumstances I can walk out if a situation makes me feel uncomfortable but a school girl in a mixed sex toilet or changing room or who is sharing a tent with a male on a Girl Guides trip does not have the chance to just walk out. Compound this with the fact that so many of these girls will not speak out for so many reasons (fear, shame etc) and you will have an entirely vulnerable and deeply suffering girl. Even worse is the fact that these girls will often be very good at hiding their distress and suffering. I was very good at not drawing attention to myself and appearing as though everything was fine, both during the years that I was abused and also in the years that followed.

To understand the trauma response that sexually abused girls might feel in the years following the abuse I can only say that for me that it got worse when I felt at risk and many situations with males could provoke that. Also the feelings that occur and the many nightmares that I had feel very much being abused and raped all over again. The NSPCC should know this and not be ignoring these girls or contributing to making their recovery harder.

These needs and rights of these girls should not be ignored simply because they are have no voice. My anger at the NSPCC is because they are the ones who should be representing and amplify their voice.

I am trying my best to represent the voice of abused girls in all this but it is not easy obviously. Unfortunately I am not being properly listened to by the likes of Girlguiding and I have been pretty much told by my MP that the mental health needs of transgender people are so great that they therefore are the most vulnerable in this, with the implication being that abused girls are just going to have to deal with it. My MP was also very rude to a friend who went along on the second occasion to support me.

I do not feel particularly hopeful at the moment for how this is all going to turn out for abused girls. This is all a clear demonstration to me that they are the bottom of the pile, yet again.

hipsterfun · 06/04/2019 13:29

An organisation can get so big that it’s only able to see itself from within the virtue bubble and will brook no criticism.