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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

999 replies

Somerville1234 · 03/04/2019 02:02

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea Smile and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report. Smile
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality. Smile

OP posts:
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Voice0fReason · 03/04/2019 11:27

Classy, very, very classy!

Needmoresleep · 03/04/2019 11:28

Is there an award for the best ally?

Your DH ought to be a shoe-in.

Sanderz · 03/04/2019 11:32

Did you call yourself gender free before you "wanted the professional opportunity"? Will you afterwards?

Can't get on board with this.

Fazackerley · 03/04/2019 11:35

Do you think anyone did sanderz? Do you believe there is anyone at any work place who openly identifies as kink? I'll bet the farm no-one does and it's meaningless virtue signalling from HR and should quite rightly be called out whenever possible.

YesItsADebate · 03/04/2019 11:35

Haha! Excellent work. I hope you win.

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 03/04/2019 11:42

Stunning and brave Grin Congratulations on living your authentic life Flowers

rocketromano · 03/04/2019 11:42

Brilliant stuff Somerville I remember your first thread too. Playing them at their own game seems like a good way forward

And as for kink being recognised at work due to being oppressed Shock
What next? Prizes for incels? Furrries awards?? Confused

LangCleg · 03/04/2019 11:47

I LOVE THIS THREAD.

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 03/04/2019 11:49

SophoclesTheFox
I’m quite proud of checkwoke, came to me this morning and I’ve been wandering around saying “checkwoke, suckers” under my breath all morning

I'm hearing that in a James Acaster type voice. It works.

Delighted for you that your agenderness is being appropriately recognised Somerville, well earned.

GabrielleNelson · 03/04/2019 11:53

wtf should whether or not you like to indulge in BDSM, or elements of it, be anything you need to have recognised at work? (unless you work in a brothel). I really dont require that knowledge about my colleagues.

Me too. Go, Somerville! I hope you win.

Somerville1234 · 03/04/2019 11:53

The K is what made me finally decide to apply. Initially the categories had all been T related, but then there were some queries, and the company decided to adopt another organisation's definition of "sexuality and gender diversity". So LGB was added, and I didn't apply so as not to get in the way of lesbians. But then I realised that the definition encompassed loads of other things including K for kink, and it pissed me off all over again.

If I was up against a lesbian or bisexual woman for next round I'd pull out. I honestly would. But I'm not.

I honestly think anyone in the company would be able to truthfully and honestly apply under one criteria or another.

OP posts:
LangCleg · 03/04/2019 11:55

Also, Somerville - Philippa/Annibal would be proud of you. You caught that fan exactly six inches above the ground!

calpop · 03/04/2019 11:57

Are there any Kink applicants OP?

What kind of company/industry is it?

DobbysLeftSock · 03/04/2019 12:06

Marvellous stuff. I hope you win!

GabrielleNelson · 03/04/2019 12:08

I can't remember if I've said it before or read someone else saying it here on Twitter, but I've certainly thought often enough that this is all a bit like modern art. If you are a toddler or a chimpanzee or just an ordinary person who never went to art college, you're not an artist, no matter how much your artworks resemble what art students and graduates produce.

Similarly, if you don't have blue hair and believe in gender, you're not trans. Sorry. No matter how little you conform to gender stereotypes, you're not in the club unless the gatekeepers agree that you are.

Somerville1234 · 03/04/2019 12:18

Langcleg Wink

calpop Sorry, can't give any more details publically.

you're not in the club unless the gatekeepers agree that you are.

Being female, Irish, and having in the past been both a carer and a lone parent, like many of us I'm used to coming up against gatekeepers. If logic and persistence work, then I'll talk myself through. If not then I'm hoping that making my attempt in the open will be valuable in itself.

OP posts:
galumph · 03/04/2019 12:19

massive heart eyes for you OP Flowers

yiskasha · 03/04/2019 12:24

I love this!!

EmpressLesbianInChair · 03/04/2019 12:30

Also, Somerville - Philippa/Annibal would be proud of you. You caught that fan exactly six inches above the ground!

I re-read The Game of Kings recently & suddenly realised where your name came from!

Up to The Disorderly Knights now & that bit where Lymond & co dress up as women in a clearly stunning & brave fashion GrinGrinGrin

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/04/2019 12:40

I went to art school whoop do doop. Doesn’t make me a narcissist arse though!

I’m in a quandary. Currently doing some work at an art school and in the ladies loos there is a poster announcing that you can pick up free Sanpro from the student office. Except the word ‘woman’ isn’t on there, not even once. ‘The average person spends bla bla bla. I have a sharpie. Now on the old days a posted wouldn’t have stayed up unmolested for more than 5 minutes but these art school kids are just weird nowadays. Too conforming. Now that sharpie... should I? It will Police Be Called?

FloatOn · 03/04/2019 12:43

Fantastic work!

wrathofVitriolKlop · 03/04/2019 12:44
A short interlude at lunchtime to entertain us gender free people.

Special K by Placebo

LangCleg · 03/04/2019 12:46

I re-read The Game of Kings recently & suddenly realised where your name came from!

I identify as a mercenary, dontchaknow!

HumberElla · 03/04/2019 13:10

Bloody fantastic OP! I remember your last thread! Right behind you on this.

I’ve lived this whole thread, been reading on a packed train chuckling away and managed to get as far as Binary, whereupon guffaw, coffee splutter, undignified snort!

GirlDownUnder · 03/04/2019 13:11

Oooo so I've just discovered I'm a chess player go me

And awww Special K is not the cereal I was looking for

And I never ID'd as gender free before this thread. I was marginalised and oppressed. Until today, when I finally heard the words that set me free, and now it all makes sense - I am gender free. This is my coming out party Glitterball Gin

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