Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

[Somerville1234]

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report.
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality.

Gender-free now is in the lexicon of transgender identities. As is agender, egender, and xenogender, which is a gender that transcends your paltry human understanding (srsly).

If the category is open to agender and gender-free people then they can expect to see a lot of "non visible" trans* candidates, because self-perception can't be externally assessed.

I know some would regard the lighthearted approach to gender in this thread as nothing short of scandalous but quite genuinely, I think that many, many female people who reject gender would fall within the 'gender free' parameters and could quite legitimately describe themselves as such.

TRAs have been saying for ages that we're all just closeted trans men / non-binaries, perhaps on one level they're right.

good point laura! anyway how does one draw the line? currently a male would be celebrated for making the utmost of his maleness to get ahead in his career and father children without too much personal, financial, physical or emotional burden, before coming out as trans and identifying as a sexy young woman at an age where becunted women are dealing with menopause.

the only thing i see as being different between all the self declared NBs/agenders etc and the majority of posters on MN is in levels of narcissism and whether or not you want to change the oppressive system we find ourselves in.

but the more pronoun badges etc becomes mandatory i think the more GC feminists are going to find that doing what the (brave stunning) OP has done actually feels like the most honest course of action.

This is excellent! Bravo OP

I'm pretty sure most GC people completely accurately fit within the definition of 'genderqueer':

genderqueer
adjective
denoting or relating to a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders."the genderqueer community"

noun
a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders.

Except being grownups we don't generally label ourselves thus.

If you're in a workplace where gender stereotypes cause you problems even though you reject them, then it seems to me entirely reasonable to make use of this status if it helps you redress the balance.

Yep we would I guess Errol except for me gender free is another step removed from genderqueer, because I see gender free as: I don't accept any of this bollocks re gender - it does not exist, I am not constrained by societal meanings of masculine or feminine.

This is amazing OP

This is brilliant. Well done, OP!

When I'm asked for my 'gender identity' on online forms now, I always tick that I have none - because it's the truth. I don't believe in gender ideology and I've never experienced the feeling of having a gender identity. I have experienced feeling uncomfortable and alienated when people have expected me to like and do feminine-gendered things just because I was born female. That makes me genderfree or agendered according to the usual definitions of those words. It also makes me a fairly ordinary GC feminist.

I don't see that anyone can argue that the OP is misrepresenting herself here. Only she knows if she has a gender or not.

but the more pronoun badges etc becomes mandatory i think the more GC feminists are going to find that doing what the (brave stunning) OP has done actually feels like the most honest course of action.

Absolutely. I'm never going to label myself feminine-gendered. It would feel like being complicit in my own oppression.

I’m just going to get ‘my gender is woman, my sex is female’ badges and see their little brains overheat.

I know some would regard the lighthearted approach to gender in this thread as nothing short of scandalous but quite genuinely, I think that many, many female people who reject gender would fall within the 'gender free' parameters and could quite legitimately describe themselves as such.

Absolutely. There is literally no difference between someone who is it and recognises it, and someone who is it, but doesn't recognise it. So far. And that's all about to change, clearly.

Just because I didn't realise I was gender free doesn't mean I'm not. Lots of people don't realise they're trans. Until someone mentions it, and it suddenly all makes sense. I've heard that narrative left, right and centre.

Well the OP has mentioned it, and it's making tremendous sense.

And I'm already feeling a little oppressed, on the basis of it. Especially by a couple of posters on here who disagree with me. How dare they. They have no idea how I'm feeling. If they're happy not being gender free, that's up to them.

Oi Datan never mind your oppression - did you not see my comment up thread!?

I'll repeat as it is my party....

And I never ID'd as gender free before this thread. I was marginalised and oppressed. Until today, when I finally heard the words that set me free, and now it all makes sense - I am gender free. This is my coming out party  

Owwwww muuuuuum, you’re so embarrassing. Stop embarrassing me! Muuuuummmmm not in front of my mates. Ohhhh muuuummmmmm no mum.

(Mum, Can I have a tenner and a lift into town?)

@Datun I was just thinking the same. A whole host of middle aged adult human females coming out as gender free.

Although to be honest. If we all joined the umbrella they'd all want to leave it's shade!

Opps hahaha I mis named and mis gendered *Datun^

Sorry

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unless there is an apocalypse or something i can't see how my GNC tween won't get swept in to all this somehow.

an announcement of NB status is the best we can hope for i think and probably (hopefully) the most likely. his father and i are preparing our reactions along the lines of "NB you say? well durrrr what do you think your mother/father and i are?"

If we all joined the umbrella they'd all want to leave it's shade

Wouldn't they just

"NB you say? well durrrr what do you think your mother/father and i are?"

Excellent idea. Very similar to my plan for when DD announces she's getting a tattoo...

"Fab! Can't wait to see what you get, then your father and I will get the same thing done, in the same place so we can all match! Won't that be precious?!!!"

Somer I remember your original thread and you are a super [ star]

My teens are - thank God - massively into competitive sport, which seems to have protected their minds, and that of their friends, from all the biology-denial. It is part of the legacy of my first (late) husband, who was utterly adament about helping them each find a sport they were suited for, quoting healthy body/healthy mind, and it has provided even more benefits than he predicted.

I know that sports are under attack, but all of the coaches I know think that biology denial is... well... bollocks. (Getting kids into single sex sporting clubs and making friends amidst that peer group is my top parenting tip, for what it's worth.)

Is there a benchmark which you must be over in terms of kink to actually be kink?

Tiny slap is that kinky enough or does it need to leave a mark or involve a mask and latex?

Well done OP. Non-binary people actively petition for the removal of gender (sex) markers on official documentation so if your HR team are now open to the removal of 'gender markers' from their records you have improved the working lives of any current and future non-binary employees.

If I’m now genderfree can I also still be pissed off at the word ciswoman? Which autocorrect wanted to change to ciswombling.

Are you in London Feko? I’m collecting GC artists and I’ve got an empty scrapbook at the moment....

Oh I am in love with the idea of saying, in the compulsory pronoun round, that as a genderfree person I have no pronouns! I will require that people not use pronouns in reference to me, lest I be triggered.

In the voice of Arya Stark: A genderfree has no pronoun.

Brava, Somerville!

And I'm already feeling a little oppressed, on the basis of it. Especially by a couple of posters on here who disagree with me. How dare they. They have no idea how I'm feeling. If they're happy not being gender free, that's up to them.

LOL

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Double LOL!

I'm going to subject mine to a coming out party.