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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

999 replies

Somerville1234 · 03/04/2019 02:02

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea Smile and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report. Smile
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality. Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Frenchfancy · 03/04/2019 07:29

Brilliant

KatvonHostileExtremist · 03/04/2019 07:31

I would. It made me cross that work asked me if "my gender was the same as had been assigned at birth"

My sex was observed at birth
I don't choose to accept a set of sex stereotypes

AnotherEmma · 03/04/2019 07:33

I read this thinking "you legend" and then saw that it's you Somerville! YOU LEGEND! Grin

CatandtheFiddle · 03/04/2019 07:34

Somerville I think I have a little bit of a crush (genderfree, natch) on you.

I’m a straight woman, too, so maybe this means we’re gay men? Or something

Bankofenglandfiver · 03/04/2019 07:35

Kink lifestyle is not all “weeing and whips” and that is grossly offensive.

PutYourBackIntoit · 03/04/2019 07:36

This is brilliant! Well done for being a courageous genderfree human! Star

TimeLady · 03/04/2019 07:36

but going to HR and asking to be noted as Agender/gender free?

Surely HR would have to have to view that request favourably? After all it's an enlightened/progressive/woke action. Interesting...….

MrsBertBibby · 03/04/2019 07:38

Kink lifestyle is not all “weeing and whips” and that is grossly offensive.

Could you explain what it is, though? Genuinely would like to know.

OhHolyJesus · 03/04/2019 07:38

Oh Bank, OP says she doesn't watch porn, no need to take offence.

That's great news OP, I'm going to try the 'keep the box' free thing too and I'm Gender non conforming (is that the same as gender free?). A really lovely thread to wake up to, well done!

calpop · 03/04/2019 07:42

wtf should whether or not you like to indulge in BDSM, or elements of it, be anything you need to have recognised at work? (unless you work in a brothel). I really dont require that knowledge about my colleagues.

The original gay recognition thing was to prevent discrimination based on what are sometimes observable characteristics. Does anyone look, act or behave differently because they indulge in anything dedined as Kink?

They should worry more about female discrimination.

I really hope this is the bank where Pips Bunce works (Crefit Suisse?)

coffeeagogo · 03/04/2019 07:43

This has made me very happy - and also snort with laughter on the bus - amazing OP! Good luck in the next round

Bankofenglandfiver · 03/04/2019 07:43

Categorising kink as “weeing and whips” whether or not you watch porn is offensive.

I do the kink. I don’t watch porn.

It’s nice to see inclusion of kink in a company award. Well done to them. And I hope the op finds the process of going through the award rounds worthwhile.

SpartacusAutisticusAHF · 03/04/2019 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CharlottesInterWeb · 03/04/2019 07:43

Fantastic! This has made me smile this morning Grin. Keep up the good fight somerville.

Iused2BanOptimist · 03/04/2019 07:43

Excellent. I really hope you win. Well done OP. Such a talent to be able to keep a straight face and act the part. Star
Really hope you win.

Iused2BanOptimist · 03/04/2019 07:44

On a side note -
Kink lifestyle is not all “weeing and whips” and that is grossly offensive.

Whatever kink is I do believe it should be left at home. Why should one's sexual proclivities earn one an award at work? Just go to work, do the work and go home ffs.
I'm deeply disinterested in what my colleagues get up to outside of work.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/04/2019 07:45

Anyone watch 30 Rock?

There’s an episode where a female character and her (male) female impersonator boyfriend (who are into really filthy sex) ‘discover’ something they call ‘normalling’ - not having sex bit going grocery shopping and watching tv.

They think they have discovered the most filthy thing and that they are very edgy and smart. Until everyone notices and starts asking them over for a barbecue with the neighbours.

truthisarevolutionaryact · 03/04/2019 07:45

Brilliant Somerville. Have some Flowers in advance of any brave and stunning award.

But why would any organisation feel it acceptable to give awards to someone for demonstrating the K in the workplace? Confused

LizzieSiddal · 03/04/2019 07:45

WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

This conversation needs to be repeated across the land.😂

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/04/2019 07:47

What’s the prize anyway?

Fazackerley · 03/04/2019 07:47

Why should what people do to get off have any bearing on work? I'd be repulsed if i had to know about my colleagues kinks.

Bankofenglandfiver · 03/04/2019 07:47

Well, the company decided to include K.

Saying that’s “weeing and whips” is out of order.

It’s up to anyone whether they apply or not under the K characteristic. Personal choice - take up the inclusion of the K with the company, who included it, not with the me, who takes offence at the description of their lifestyle as “weeing and whips”.

Fazackerley · 03/04/2019 07:48

Weeing and whips are kinks. Not sure why you think they are offensive.

mummmy2017 · 03/04/2019 07:49

My child just laughed so much, told me is using this...

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/04/2019 07:49

What constitutes a kink though? Who is the judge? Why would it ever be relevant in the workplace - unless the kink is getting your jollies by peeing in the canteen teacups.

If you want to dress up as barbie for sex - who cares?