Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

[Somerville1234]

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report.
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality.

❤

Wow, what an eye opener.

Thanks Somerville!

Ciswombling genderfree.

I can feel the oppression too. Isn’t it marvellous!

Is there a benchmark which you must be over in terms of kink to actually be kink?

I’ve read the thread an I don’t think anyone has defined what kink is exactly? And how you would be discriminated against - most people don’t know the ins and outs (fnarr fnarr) of other people’s sex lives, why would you need to announce your kink any more than you’d want to announce you like it missionary or doggy style?

Also curious to know the “benchmark”. A one off drunken night with a same sex partner in college doesn’t make you gay, so what level of kink makes you kink?

If I’m now genderfree can I also still be pissed off at the word ciswoman?

Well, of course, it's completely inapplicable. But so is trans. Now, what could possibly be the word for a woman who is neither cis nor trans?

I may now be gender-free but I stall have my period. Sore belly and back, headache. Spot on my nose. Feeling stressed and pissed off.

Bugger this self ID - it doesn't work. Whodve thought it?

Sorry fekko, blame your immutable dimorphic sex for that. ...

I can feel the oppression too. Isn’t it marvellous!

🤣 brilliant!

I'm actually feeling more oppressed by the minute.

Ahhhh checkwoke brilliant. My new best phrase.

While the woke have been playing identity bingo
The rest of us have learnt to play chess
Indeed and hell we are damned good at it.
I too need to tell you all that I am genderfree, because it fits me, its obviously right for me. So here's my coming out.
And I really really hope that I get asked more about it in real life.
Cant wait to checkwoke everyone.

Thanks Somer, you did good our lass- lady woman- person

I was feeling oppressed. Then I found a large bar of chocolate. Now I feel a tad nauseous.

Complicated innit?

lord yes. Tricky. Just go and tell someone that you're gender free, you don't care what they say, and they have to stop oppressing you.

That should sort it.

If we all joined the umbrella they'd all want to leave it's shade!

Reverse colonisation? HAVE AT IT!

'you can have woman, yeah? We're all off to be brave and stunning with the glittery unicorns.'

I'm just about to go and oppress my teenager. I'm sure it will be up before the Court of Human Rights by tea time but that room will be tidy!

I'm absolutely loving this thread. Well done Somerville.

As a GC police officer I've been terrified of raising GC points and querying certain policies, but now realise I have to come out as genderqueer, ergo under the trans umbrella, make loads of GC comments and suggestions, and no one can call me a nasty evil terf bigot and if anyone criticises me then I can play the trans card.

Perfect.

OP that's brilliant

So I have just drafted an email pointing out that sex/gender are not interchangeable words but have specific meanings and only biological sex can be of relevance for purposes of this particular monitoring. I have asked that they correct the wording appropriately

Brava! IUsedtobeanOptimist - it's lots of little things like this that need to happen.

I had to correct the Terms of Reference of an inclusivity committee I sit on - they'd used "gender" instead of "sex" and I pointed out that it is "sex" which is the protected characteristic under the Equalities Act.

Did you call yourself gender free before you "wanted the professional opportunity"? Will you afterwards?

I can't speak for the lovely Somerville, Sanderz but I have always aimed at being what's now called "gender non-conforming" - with the ultimate aim of being "gender free". I've been trying to do that - within the limits of my conditioning and socialisation, and by challenging those limits, since I was about 12 - for almost 50 years.

And I think most feminists could hand on heart say that.

I now earn more than most of my male colleagues, boss people around, am independently affluent (if not wealthy), occupy a leadership position, and wear trousers occasionally.

If we're putting people in gender boxes, then I think I tick quite a few of the "masculine" ones.

Cat
Consider yourself amazing.

Fingers crossed for you in the next round OP!

School's out
Ding ding
Round 2

Sanderz

I think gender is a social construct.

If I have interpreted the New World of Woke correctly, that means I could identify as gender free?

You are awesome. This is the best thread I've read on here!!

TRAs have been saying for ages that we're all just closeted trans men / non-binaries, perhaps on one level they're right

Except that taking this seriously what this does is demonstrate how male-centred the TRAs are. Men & maleness are the default and women only have meaning in relation to anything male, or non-female. because transmen are men

And tbh I find it quite offensive when I have to answer how I “identify”. I am a woman, my genes irrevocably say so. But I don’t “identify” with the gender stereotypes applied to women which I consider regressive and dislike the idea of being pushed to say I do

I am trying to memorise this perfectly articulated argument.
Thank you.

I haven't been on in ages but I heard about this on Twitter and was so proud.

Am even prouder it's you Somerville. So proud of how brave and stunning you are friend (as you're gender free Is friend ok or would you prefer something else?)