Update: identifying as non-binary for work award

[Somerville1234]

Can't find the old thread... but anyway, there's an award/opportunity at work, only for people who are LGBT+++. I don't remember all the categories but they included genderqueer, genderfluid and genderfree. Also K, which I'm reliably informed stands for kink lifestyle. I don't understand why someone would need a special thing at work for getting off on weeing and whips (?? I don't watch porn, I don't have a clue), but maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, old fashioned or not, I'm gender free because I don't believe in gender. And I wanted the professional opportunity. (Forgive me for the vagueness - being careful because of doxxing.) And you lot were encouraging...

I ended up applying - which didn't involve saying how I met the criteria, just ticking that I did. And then I was perpexedly approached by my woke boss.
(WB "Erm... so you realise that this is for LGBT+++ employees, Somer?"
S "Yes."
WB "Erm...it was my understanding you're a straight woman...?"
S "I'm genderfree and-"
WB: "Really?"
S "Yes, and I think I need to remind you that the staff handbook recommends that no-one should assume anybody elses's gender."
WB: "Oh, terribly sorry about that.")

I then had a lovely meeting with HR where they were very keen to update my pronouns on the system. I told them that being gender free I require the box beside gender to be left empty, but that I can accept female pronouns because that's my biological sex. They were happy with this novel idea and to learn more about the difference between sex and gender. They young HR person didn't know they're not synonyms but he learns something new every day apparently.

And now... I've heard I'm shortlisted for the next round!
It's been announced to the whole company, and I've had a few bemused looks but no direct transphobia, I'm happy to report.
My longsuffering DH (works in same field) has been teased a bit for my gender identity but he's happy to suffer for the sake of my fight for equality.

Gender-free is defined as not feeling the need to attach relevance to gender, or not conforming to the binary gender categories. I applaud all of you brave and stunning MNers who have recently come to the conclusion, like me, that having felt discomfort with being assigned a binary gender category you can thus come out as gender-free, genderqueer, or Non-Binary. I would like to encourage those of you still wondering about your identity with these words of wisdom I learned from the blogs and books written by gender counsellors. (I can't cite their qualifications or sources as unfortunately these are never made available.) They advise that if you are even asking the question whether you are on the trans or non-Binary spectrum, it generally means you are. They also say that you don't have to be 100% certain, and that if you wobble sometimes it's fine as long as afterwards you reclaim your NB/trans truth.

Obviously it is encumbent on all of us under the Trans/NB umbrella to define terms and point out poor practice. I am particularly doing so when it comes to errors of conflating sex and gender and I am thrilled that many of you are too.

Somerville you never fail to amaze. Love this. Hope you win!

Love this, and love it even more that it's you Somerville, you always were an exceptional woman gender-free person

I remember your first thread about this and I'm so pleased you've been shortlisted. You've been stunning and brave throughout all your time on MN, I'm glad your work is now recognising it too

Ding ding, round 2
Oops I was thinking about the likelihood of interesting evening posters on this thread.

Of course Somerville I hope you move through to the next round swiftly.

Loving this.

Another non-binary gender-free adult human female here 😁

I too am a non binary gender non conforming person whose sexuality is not up for debate.

However, why is your husband 'long suffering' and why is he being teased at work? Discrimination on the latter surely but I'm a nosy parker intrigued as to why 'He?' is long suffering.

PS. Congrats on the short listing.

Do you really think it's feminist to undermine the rights of lesbian women?

psml

MN is the only place, as a lesbian woman, that I feel safe to be out and see women hourly standing up for my rights and those of women and girls. If you're out to defend lesbian women's rights then fantastic, but these aren't the droids you're looking for, you need to be talking to the proponents of the cotton ceiling.

Somerville you're my new super [insert your current choice of noun here]

You do realise if we set up a genderfree support group and demand Mordaunt meets to hear our many concerns, we could put all the MN questions again and this time get flooded with answers and validation?

Loving your work, OP

Can't your DH just give the teasers a Hard Stare and tell them he's genderfree too?

omg after so many years of not playing the right sports and not quite wearing the right clothes and really just never quite fitting in, I have finally found my identity: genderfree. it is perfect.

FUUUUUUCK!

Utterly and completely brilliant

Hi Amalfi m'dear. Call me whatever the hell you like as long as it's not "gender: female" which as a person on the trans and NB spectrum I am now fully qualified to say is transphobic. (A woman, she/her, or Ms, as per my sex being female is of course fine, as I told HR.)

Most of all, please no-one call me British. I've got enough of the UK government doing that. They change the law to allow people to be recognised as a biological impossibilty but don't let those of us born in the north remain Irish. (Yes, yes, this thread isn't the place for this. It's all just boiling up in me at the moment. Look at #WeAreIrishToo on Twitter if you want to understand more.)

Fabulous, how long before you hear if youv'e won?

Even if this is a wind up it’s fucking genius. Love it

You do realise if we set up a genderfree support group and demand Mordaunt meets to hear our many concerns, we could put all the MN questions again and this time get flooded with answers and validation?

Knicknack I love this idea.

OP you have inspired me! This afternoon I emailed HR and told them, that when I return from mat leave I would be doing so as a gender-free female and expect to be accommodated as such.

Awaiting their reply with excitement.

Is there a benchmark which you must be over in terms of kink to actually be kink?

Tiny slap is that kinky enough or does it need to leave a mark or involve a mask and latex?

Rolled up copy of Woman's Weekly.

ciswombling genderfree

Dammit AnyOldPrion. I can’t get that tune out if my head now! 🎶

Of*

This is too, too perfect.

One of the defining characteristics of anything, absolutely anything, to do with gender is that none of it is ever defined.

There are NO lists. No one ever actually describes it. Either as a concept, or a list of characteristics.

Because as soon as you do, it becomes obvious how nonsensical it is.

My favourite question is, let me make this easy for you, just give me the top three things that you identify as/with. Alright, just two then. Okay the most important one.

Just one.

I never get an answer. Because what they are trying to describe is not a feeling. And if you try and describe it, it becomes blisteringly obvious.

"It's because I, um, I like, I mean I feel comfortable with, sorry not with, as..."

They can't possibly question you over any of this. Without revealing the Big Flaw.

However, why is your husband 'long suffering' and why is he being teased at work? Discrimination on the latter surely but I'm a nosy parker intrigued as to why 'He?' is long suffering.

Funnily enough he isn't enjoying hearing speculation at work about whether I'm a secret lesbian, bisexual, into kink, or about to get a mastectomy, and what these may mean about whether I'm faithful to him.

This is awesome! Please update us if you win or have any interesting responses.

Love the idea that your colleagues are trying to figure out which category you might fall in to. I would have totally categorised myself as K!