Boy, 12, raped six-year-old sister ‘to recreate Grand Theft Auto scene’, court told

[OtepotiLilliane42]

This is horrific, and I found it hard to read, especially the part where "the boy’s mother told the court he was “doing really well” and hoped her family could one day reconcile.

“We just want to make things right and do what's best for the safety of the children,” she added.

“My daughter used to be very sad about it all because she worried this was her fault, but she’s come on leaps and bounds, she’s a very strong girl and there’s not an ounce of sadness in her now, I’m so proud of her.” (My emphasis).

Pertinent questions for me are why this boy was permitted to play an R18 game unsupervised, and why his sister could not tell her parents what was going on, but felt that what was happening to was her fault! At age 6!

And shouldn't a 12 year old know, without being told, that what he did
to his sister was dreadfully wrong? At least it seems as if the boy and his sister are getting the therapy they both need, but it's a story that makes one despair at how even young girls will feel responsible for male behaviour.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/rape-boy-sister-gta-sex-scene-swindon-court-a8799261.html

That's a pretty silly question, don't you think? No sillier than you assuming that just because your brother hasn't raped you, he hasn't raped anyone. Neither of us know if he has or hasn't. And please spare me the nonsense - as if the only rapists are the convicted ones. If that were the case, we would hardly have to worry about rape at all.

I don't see porn as a big problem personally. Well, good for you? You're not bothered by rape and abuse and the systematic dehumanisation of women and children. So happy for you. Hopefully you are at least able to see that other people are bothered, with good reason. There's quite a lot of evidence to suggest that dehumanisation and objectification are factors in violence and abuse. They certainly seem to be factors in this case.

Interesting that the media is focusing on the game rather than the porn..

So somehow the thing to blame is a game which doesn't (as far as I'm aware) show any explicit sex acts, rather than the thing that absolutely shows sex acts - and often violent and degrading ones at that.

Almost like they're more invested in minimising the impact porn has on boys and men who watch it.

It is indeed silly for me to assume that most men, particularly the one I know quite well, isn't a rapist 🙄 Jesus Christ.

I take it that those who are posting that it's 'tosh' that it is perfectly possible to play GTA without going on the violent (including sexually violent) missions have never actually played it, and are unaware that the most notorious missions need to be specifically modded on?

This boy was (according to the same source) watching porn extensively, and was unregulated online.

I really don't see why GTA is in the headline, other than to attract clicks and froth. Which is a pity, as this is a dreadful case no the headline is detracting from the real issues. Which isn't a need to demonise a particular game, but to look at the total effect of all his screen activity and why permitting unsupervised screentime is considered so normal.

Mercifully it is rare that it is formative of RL action. But role of screen violence in desensitising is well known (used by groups as diverse as the US military and ISIS) and so it (probably) is a n important part of a perfect storm. The other elements of that storm should not be overlooked in the rush to damn GTA

I know very little about computer games I must confess VikingVolva
so you may well be right about demonising the game Grand Theft Auto. But it does seem as if this boy was allowed a lot of unsupervised access to quite unsuitable material which prompted his 'experimentation' on his sister. The fact that it only came out because the little girl felt able to tell a friend who then told a teacher is disturbing.Only the parents will know why their daughter could not tell them was going on, but I am sure they would have been devastated when it all came to light. The question is, what can prevent such things happening in other homes? More education for parents about age suitable games, monitoring your children's computer time, not letting play go on for hours unsupervised, talking to your children about what's happening in their lives and listening carefully to their answers. But the thing is parents have to take responsibility in the first place, and how many are willing to do that I wonder.

I am sure that this family will have been given all sorts of advice as to computer time, but when porn can be watched on mobile phones what can parents do? Does the UK have programmes in schools for youngsters on the dangers of access to porn, or is it more about cyber bullying and so on? NZ educational authorities are aware of the problem here, as I found with a quick google search, which is good to know.

www.schoolnews.co.nz/2018/12/education-needed-to-reduce-impact-of-pornography-on-youth/

www.familyfirst.org.nz/2018/09/education-review-office-tells-schools-teach-more-about-porn/

The most upsetting aspect for me of this whole awful affair is the fact that the 6 year old girl felt instinctively to blame for what happened to her.
.

One of the reasons I left my ExH is because when we caught his son watching violent porn at 11 years old, he just shrugged and did fuck all. Said I was being hysterical. His son was also violent and played inappropriate video games.

I just could not be married to someone who parented that way.

I really hope the boy is never allowed to return to the family home. Absolutely fucking ridiculous for the mother to think that.

GTA is a vile game. DS who is in y6 has a classmate who according to DS, ‘is obsessed’ with it, plus Call Of Duty and other violent delights which I’ve never heard of.

While GTA does not necessarily a rapist make, you’d still have to be off your rocker to allow your young DC anywhere near it, and pornography should go without saying. I’ve got every parental control going slapped on DS’s devices and I spot check them regularly, they aren’t 100%, so as parents we all have to be on it all the time.

Whatever has been going on in this family is clearly very disturbing, and seriously damaging for that poor little girl. I don’t believe for a second that ‘she doesn’t have one ounce of sadness in her.’ That simply doesn’t sound feasible, or healthy. Sounds to me like she’s been encouraged to repress her feelings, which will cause her massive problems in the long term. I certainly wouldn’t be letting that boy back into my house if it was me.

But it does seem as if this boy was allowed a lot of unsupervised access to quite unsuitable material which prompted his 'experimentation' on his sister.

I think that's the main thing really, if he's playing games rated way above his age group, and has access to porn, his parents are clearly not supervising or setting limits in any way.

A friend of mine talks about being in a games store and hearing parents boasting about their kid being "clever enough" to play 18 rated games. And going on other conversations I've been involved in myself, I think there's still this mistaken idea that games are only for children and are therefore all suitable at all ages.

I think as well that people are too reliant on technology to shield their kids from the harmful stuff that can be found online. Assuming ISPs will block the awful stuff.

The key is always going to be education, both for the parents and the kids.

It just makes you despair, doesn't it?

There are age restrictions on games, dvds etc for a reason!!!

Exactly! So many parents seem to be so lax around age restrictions on games in particular.

My son is nearly 13 and there’s no way on gods green earth he gets to play 18 games.

It's comforting to blame the video game, because it staves of the unpleasant truth that there is something deeply, deeply wrong at the heart of this family. As others have said, the mother's view of the rape minimises what her daughter has been through - I can't imagine it is going to be easy for that young girl to recover in that context. So many alarm bells ringing - why have the children not been taken into care?

@MamaDane That's a pretty silly question, don't you think? I think it's fair to assume a man isn't a rapist unless he's convicted of rape or if there has any other indication to indicate he's a rapist. 

No, and that attitude is why victims don't come forward or aren't believed. I'm not saying your brother is a rapist, but many have gotten away with these crimes because there 'was no indication' and the victims weren't believed.

My rapist was never prosecuted because he was a 'nice guy' and no one believed he could do that. As far as I know he still hasn't shown any indication he's capable of rape but it doesn't mean he didn't do it or hasn't done it again.

And porn is a problem. It's become so extreme people are don't irreparable damage trying to recreate it.

And I’m sorry, it’ll be wiped from his record if he completes the rehab programme and he’s on the SOA for 2.5 years?! Wtf?

I know he’s 13 and he’s got his life ahead of him and hopefully he will become rehabilitated but why does that have to equate to complete official erasure of what he’s done?

Well - I had never heard of GTA sex scenes so I googled them - immediately - top Google slot - youtube - GTA sex scenes, I clicked and watched a graphic sex scene.

wow - parents are naive if they think this stuff isn't out there, readily available and damaging our kids.

Can't believe people are minimising this shit - it was mentioned in the headline because it clearly came up in the court evidence. Porn + hideously realistic scenes in a violent and sex filled video game.

Actually stunned by how easy that was to find !

Boy repeatedly rapes 6 year old sister, after coming from a home where he's allowed unsupervised access to pornographic content while a 6 year old child is in the room too

Boy 2 years older than James Bulgers killers

Boy gets a ton of sympathy

At 12 you are old enough to know- raping your 6 year old sister is VERY bad. It's not mere experimentation after playing a game!

Tbh I think the parents should be charged.

It's comforting to blame the video game, because it staves of the unpleasant truth that there is something deeply, deeply wrong at the heart of this family.

Exactly. There have been many, many studies on the assumed link between video games and violence. It's very easy and convenient to blame boys' actions on the media they consume. Unfortunately its also empirically false.

Can't believe people are minimising this shit - it was mentioned in the headline because it clearly came up in the court evidence. Porn + hideously realistic scenes in a violent and sex filled video game

No ones minimising anything.

But rape and murder of women has gone on since the dawn of time. It Carrys on to this day everywhere from developed countries where kids are glued to phones 24/7 to the middle of sodding no where where no ones even heard of Nokia or xbox.

I dont believe it's the sole cause. And I think its damaging to blame it. Because when kids walk past the news papers and see that someone got off with 3 months probation because the judge blamed a video game instead then where is the deterrent ?

Well - I had never heard of GTA sex scenes so I googled them - immediately - top Google slot - youtube - GTA sex scenes

I also googled, one of the first things that came up was a scene between two characters that is absolutely not in the original game, so was clearly a mod.

In the same way you can get graphic mods for even kids games like the Sims. You have to go looking for them deliberately though. So that's not down to the game developers.

@GerryblewuptheER I agree, but in this case the perp is a 12 year old boy. I think there is a bigger issue at play in this case and that he needs help rather than simply a custodial sentence. Yes at 12 he should have known raping his sister was wrong but there surely has to be something behind the scenes that made him think he could do that. There is no excuse though and the little girl is the most important person in this who deserves all of the help and protection.

Absolutely hold perpetrators accountable but we need to address it as a society and as parents too. I won't allow my child access to age inappropriate content/games and we have already had age appropriate conversations about consent, appropriate behaviours and general safety but I know other parents of similar aged children haven't.

This whole debate begs the question as to why in God's name there needs to be video games developed that lets someone be sexually violent? Why would anyone want to be?

It really irritates me how they are blaming the video game for his behaviour, I played the same game without having sex in the game. Why on earth are his parents allowing a 12 year old to play GTA, but to also allow unrestricted access to the internet where he can watch porn.
I hope his sister is okay and she also gets the help she needs.

It is clearly not appropriate for a 12 year old to be playing GTA or watching porn.

However, there is a big leap between that statement and saying that the porn/GTA were the cause of his rape of his sister.

If you listen to the language coming out of the family, it's horrific - THEY are the ones minimising what he did. I am willing to lay a bet that there is an extremely dysfunctional culture in that home. Just look at the state of this: 'He's doing really well and I want to make sure we can all be a family again at some point. My daughter used to be very sad about it all because she worried this was her fault, but she's come on leaps and bounds, she's a very strong girl and there's not an ounce of sadness in her now, I'm so proud of her.'

If you want a catalogue of denial, minimisation, and victim blaming - this is it. A six year old who is 'over' her abuse by her sibling in a matter of months? Pull the other one. And why on earth would a 6 year old be left thinking this was her fault for ANY length of time?
This family are clearly not suitable parents.

Well - I had never heard of GTA sex scenes so I googled them - immediately - top Google slot - youtube - GTA sex scenes, I clicked and watched a graphic sex scene.

Person Googles “GTA sex scenes” and finds GTA sex scenes - shocker.

The point missed was that you’d have to know these existed, if you simply play the game it isn’t a part of the game, unless someone has modified it.

If a child is googling “GTA sex scenes” there are bigger problems with that child than just playing video games.

There’s all sorts of stuff “out there” but the vast majority of children would never come across it unless they specifically looked for it.

This whole debate begs the question as to why in God's name there needs to be video games developed that lets someone be sexually violent?

Because porn mostly.

There are games like this, these aren't the big triple A titles like GTA though - these may have sex scenes but I can't think of any which are violent, you get more violence in 18 rated movies.

It's often dodgy little independently published ones, sites like Steam used to not allow them but I suspect they came under pressure by incel types.

@codenameduchess Of course it's fair to assume a man isn't a rapist if there's no indication of it! I can't walk around and think of every single man as a potential rapist. That is paranoid and not at all healthy.

I could also assume that say mammoon or waterrat is a rapist, but there's obviously no indication of it, and I don't know these women so why would I assume the worst of people?

I also don't assume that my mum is a murderer.