I thought this was interesting, in relation to F&O and the current crop of trans identified young people (the bolding is somewhat maddening so I will copy and paste the bits I found relevant):
culturallyboundgender.wordpress.com/2018/11/13/gender-identity-isnt-a-box-its-a-yardstick/
“A more illuminating object to metaphorically represent gender identity can be found in a yardstick.
In this view, men and women are measured according to two distinct sets of standards. A person who is meticulously groomed and uses a range of makeup products “measures up” very well according to the yardstick marked “woman,” but would be assigned low marks on the “man” yardstick. A person who dates women and wears trousers, never skirts/dresses, measures as bog-standard on the “man” yardstick, but would not achieve the same average measurement on the “woman” stick.
When examined this way, the distinction between “gender identity” and “gender roles” becomes more clear: gender identity is the selection of one’s yardstick, while gender roles are the markings on the yardstick that you measure yourself against. With this idea in place, respecting another person’s gender identity means measuring them according to the yardstick they prefer.
In a capitalist culture that generates continuously-evolving countercultures and promotes self-discovery and uniqueness — a culture in which “basic” is an insult — the person who transitions even though their original “box” was a better fit is doing so in order to be measured as unusual on a new yardstick. If you’re a person who likes video games, does computer programming for a living, and watches a lot of pornography, your place on the “man” yardstick positions you as not terribly unusual, and not terribly desirable. But on the “woman” yardstick, measured from the perspective of their own male gaze (“why, I’d love to meet a woman who liked video games, porn, and programming!”), they become an unusual, desirable nerdy girl.”
(I’m not sure I agree with the way the radical feminist position ‘gender is a box/cage’) is presented in the rest of the piece, but I think this bit goes quite some way to explaining the position of the current generation - and indeed, why some of the more age-mature transsexual-identifying people seem so at odds with trans ideology/why trans ideology is at odds with the transsexual lived experience).
I’d prefer my kids to live in a yardstick/cage/box-free world, personally. Measured as individuals, with their distinct biological-sex needs respected and provided for.