Small feminist acts

[Jeanhatchet]

Discussing this with a friend the other day. We don't all have the capacity/time/health/money to do big activism.

But feminist women help each other all the time in small ways. Tiny things can be feminist acts. Listening to a woman who is in pain . Bunging her a fiver when she can't feed her kids. Looking after her kids so she can go for a walk. Chucking money into a homeless woman's lap instead of a man's. Consciously finding out the woman to help.

Or choosing to read books by women not men.

Watch films with female leads and female focused themes.

Listen to music by women. Go to an art exhibition by a woman. If you can find one.

Retweet women not men. Read their articles. Post their articles not men's.

Reject conditioning. Try not to look at the women you encounter today and judge their weight, clothes, make up etc. We have been taught to be critical of each other by men and their media and their comments to and about us.

Instead flip your gaze as soon as you feel yourself conforming to that ... onto a man. Judge him. Does he look like a good man? Does he look like he treats women well or beats and rapes them? Or buys them for sex? You can't tell of course. But it moves the game away from women. It is a conscious feminist act not to play the game men have taught us.

@MotherForkinShirtBalls we also watched the series 'Glow' on Netflix recently which we both really enjoyed and has female lead and some really good female characters.

@MotherForkinShirtBalls Hanna, Wonder Woman and Hunger Games also quite good. Also lots of kids animations like Moana, Brave, Coraline, Spirited Away...

Nope, flinging shit at the idealogically impure is what BlahXXBlah just did.

Also, don't put words in my mouth.

I don't find it remotely fine or dandy if a percentage of dedicated women's support is taken by men. I'm actually quite annoyed by it.

But I'm nor am I going to allow idealogical purity to drive me from a project that's likely to be useful to women.

Can you not see the irony of your own words?

when women are putting women front and centre and using any available platform, thinking of the bigger picture

So.... like the 500 Women Scientists does then? Putting women front and centre, thinking of the bigger picture?

But if it's women nudging up to make space for gender non conforming men

Oh, no, 500 Women Scientists is All Wrong, because it started being entirely about women but might not be 100%. Burn it down and cede the ground.

Or, you know, grind your teeth and move on to dealing with both underlying problems: under-representation of female voices presenting science; and self-id allowing men to move painlessly into space dedicated to women.

I'm absolutely pissed off with this idealogical purity shit causing these cries for women to destroy their own spaces, because that's obviously so much better than nudging up.

I have to say, the recent thread suggesting we boycott Woman's Hour for, IIRC, some failure of idealogical purity has pushed me over the edge.

FGS. Stand back and DO bloody look at the big picture.

I'm sorry, Jean, this was a nice thread.

I hope it continues to be a useful one.

Lemoncakestrudel we went to see Pussy Riot when they toured the U.K. fantastic live show.
My male teenager doesn’t talk trash about his femal cohorts and has plenty of female friends. He is 15 and his friend in the year below him has just given birth. After the initial opining with his mate and a philosical chat with him and his friend, there is no reference give to what the (teenage) father wants or what she should have done and she was texting my lad as a friend when she was in labour. He wants to help with the baby because the new mum is his friend.
I’m proud of him (he is not the father and has only been a platonic friend) for wanting to support women and girls.

I have a few shares, whenever I am asked to vote on the board I always vote for the women and oppose the men. I think the men have probably never been opposed.

I have hedgehog s visit my garden, I always name them female, male, female. I don't know the sex of any of them.

I continue to listen to woman's hour, complaining if needed. Where else is there a daily female programme that truly benefits women and girls by continuing to examine the issues of the day?

I don't count loose women

I haven't called for a boycott of anything. Someone raised a query about 'self identifying women' because it gave them pause. You're the one who posted in response about Tories and anti abortion and whatever else. It seems like a good project, and I was very interested in it, and no, I don't think burning things to the ground is the way to go. But because some of the women here take a certain view of the BBC or whatever, you've decided that any questions about background stuff are a prelude to dismantling the BBC and other organisations. When actually, they might just be questions.

But I'm nor am I going to allow idealogical purity to drive me from a project that's likely to be useful to women.
Spot on, PerkingFaintly. The amount of shouting down of women I like, such as Sarah Silverman, Amy Schumer and Lena Durham annoys the tits off me. Fuck off! So they’ve done something wrong (in your opinion) and are not ideological pure. Fuck off! They are up there, living their feminism and are a rare breed for doing so and not conforming to gender stereotypes. I’m not going to minimise or apologise for or explain anything they’ve done wrong. I will continue to support them, admire them and laugh at their take on this bullshit world.
Feminism is a broad church and I’m fucked if anyone else is gonna dictate the terms to me aside from equal pay, opportunities and votes for women. And not bringing your kids up to be sexist dickheads.

Thanks, KarBB, I've seen most of those but always looking for more!

What BlahXXBlah actually said was: "Is there no sex based qualifier to join and if so doesn't that defeat the purpose?"

To which my answer is: "No, almost certainly not."

Fair enough. I went off half-cocked, and I apologise for completely misreading you.

@Lemoncakestrudel I don't know your specific preferences but try Badcop/Badcop, The Interruptors and The Bompops (possibly too entry-level for you, but I love them!)

With regards to Women authored books/directed films/written & performed music - I found accidentally that I prefer to read/watch/listen to art which has more relevance to me, my life, and my experiences.

Though many of these are made about women but by men, I find it difficult to accept the authenticity of it. If that makes sense.

So I think I mean that now I realise what I've been doing, I'll keep doing it more deliberately.

I subscribe to the "if I can see it, I can be it" idea, too. (And if I can be it, I want to see it, to reverse the idea).

You're a poster I generally respect, Floral. As with everyone, I'm not going to agree with 100% of what you say, but I usually find your posts at least worth reading.

Perking, honestly, really sorry. In a bit of a bad way here, no sleep at all and I just didn't read carefully enough.

Ach, no worries. Sorry to hear about lack of sleep: hope you can get some rest, and things improve.

I have to young daughters, I don't call them pretty or princesses,etc, and try to get family and friends to do the same. But it's actually really hard trying to explain to family especially why I don't want them to be called pretty all the time. How do others deal with this? It's sounds like something small but it's important to me not to have then growing up with this constantly.

Deadringer
life is a series of small decisions and every one counts. I always vote for women whenever possible, whether it's for government or just a committee, if there is a suitable female representative they get my vote

I rather like this^

Like having your own personal AWS.

bare
In righting things, solidarity is crucial

We can but try.

I was asking genuinely if you knew any more about this project since you brought it up Perking! As I said I think it is a great idea but science plus bepenisedwoman just does not compute in my head. I do agree we shouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater but I find I do question everything that refers to self iding as a woman and LGBT now because so many organisations these days at first glance appear to be about women and then turn out not to be. It's a minefield. I won't stop questioning it because I am perpetually bamboozled as to how people can redefine the word woman!

I think Vera is really good and the character is an interesting play on role reversal, plus Brenda Blethyn is ace. The latest ad on itv with her talking to the camera about whether she would be treated differently if she looked different and not needing a man to validate her had me cheering at the tv

yes to naming all animals 'she'
statistically they are more likely to be female anyway.

I have a reminder in my calendar to nominate a female colleague for an industry award every three months. I've been doing it for years and a lot of them have won.

Silver, I love that one.

PerkingFaintly and FloralBuntingIsObnoxious expressing themselves, then owning their sh*t, then accepting each others differences and then being kind to each other. A small but impressive and valuable lesson in how two unrelated women benefit by treating each other like sisters ❤️ Love it!

I try to challenge it when adult women are referred to as 'girls'. Depending on the circumstances I either challenge directly or pretend to be confused. Eg. At work when recently I was told to ask one of the 'girls' (all actually women over 40) to do something I said I hadn't realised we'd got work experience students in. (Male) colleague said he didn't know what I meant so I explained that since he referred to them as 'girls' they must be under 18. Other times I simply repeat back what has been said but use the word 'women' (with emphasis).