Small feminist acts

[Jeanhatchet]

Discussing this with a friend the other day. We don't all have the capacity/time/health/money to do big activism.

But feminist women help each other all the time in small ways. Tiny things can be feminist acts. Listening to a woman who is in pain . Bunging her a fiver when she can't feed her kids. Looking after her kids so she can go for a walk. Chucking money into a homeless woman's lap instead of a man's. Consciously finding out the woman to help.

Or choosing to read books by women not men.

Watch films with female leads and female focused themes.

Listen to music by women. Go to an art exhibition by a woman. If you can find one.

Retweet women not men. Read their articles. Post their articles not men's.

Reject conditioning. Try not to look at the women you encounter today and judge their weight, clothes, make up etc. We have been taught to be critical of each other by men and their media and their comments to and about us.

Instead flip your gaze as soon as you feel yourself conforming to that ... onto a man. Judge him. Does he look like a good man? Does he look like he treats women well or beats and rapes them? Or buys them for sex? You can't tell of course. But it moves the game away from women. It is a conscious feminist act not to play the game men have taught us.

I agree op, life is a series of small decisions and every one counts. I always vote for women whenever possible, whether it's for government or just a committee, if there is a suitable female representative they get my vote.

I’ve also started challenging anecdotes about bossy/stroppy/crazy women. like a man would usually covers it.

It's women who criticise other women

This!

I use female pronouns for all the animal characters in the children's books I have to read.

And refer to god as "she" and "mother"

It's women who criticise other women. Most "womens magazines" are not only edited by other women, but full of articles body shaming their own readers.

In the context of clothes, looks, fashion mags etc, women have been conditioned under the patriarchy to criticise each other for not conforming. Where does the body shaming ultimately come from and for? Who does it serve?

The male gaze.

I use female pronouns for all the animal characters in the children's books I have to read

That's no better than defaulting to all male.

I'm implementing a new 'off the peg' IT project and have left the standard issue 'gender' field unused in favour of a new , custom field "sex". Also replaced 'maiden name' with 'previous name'.

I've introduced my whole team at work to the concept of not giving way to men in the street and have been loving their response to it.

I challenge every use of 'bossy', 'feisty' and other terms typically used only in relation to women.

Excellent ideas on here. They are reminding me that I must get back to some more. My favourite recent one was sending a mailing of 300ish letters to person name unknown, so I addressed them 50/50 to dear madam or sir, vs dear sir or madam.

My tiny bit of activism - I do my best to stick up 10 Fair Play for Women postcards every day whilst I am out and about (always have a pile ready to post up in my handbag).

That's brilliant, well done

Quite outing but I input sports results/tables for newspapers. I always put women's tables above the men's tables.

It's women who criticise other women. Most "womens magazines" are not only edited by other women, but full of articles body shaming their own readers.

That's what happens when you live in a structurally sexist society (patriarchy). It affects everything, not least how members of the oppressed class interact with each other as opposed to how they interact with the dominant class and how the dominant class interacts with them.

I'm implementing a new 'off the peg' IT project and have left the standard issue 'gender' field unused in favour of a new , custom field "sex". Also replaced 'maiden name' with 'previous name'.

Love it. It’s small wins but very satisfying

Nice to see a fellow woman in tech.

Always cross out gender and replace with sex on forms.

I always put extra sanpro in the food bank parcels, instead of the piddly little single boxes of pantyliners the male volunteers always put in, even after I've explained.

I've started really checking my use of gendered criticism, and I deliberately avoid calling women hysterical.

I've started really checking my use of gendered criticism, and I deliberately avoid calling women hysterical

I was thinking that i dont do anything

But i do this...baby steps

I always call on girls for their answers in the classroom and encourage their vocal participation and never allow boys to dominate or interrupt, which even at age 11/12 they have learned to do.

Change the genders in your DC's books when you read them.

I realised that all the punk music I listen to is by men, so I got some pussy riot.

I’m teaching my daughter to be a feminist, continuing the family line of strong women.

I'm raising my son to know the importance of treating people with equal respect and care. To recognise unfairness. To know the real history of women and men, how patriarchy came about and its disastrous effects on us today. To understand women's trauma and wounds and to know what he can do to help redress the balance.

It doesn’t take a genius to realise that the body shaming perpetuated by a lot of women is merely internalised misogyny. The fact that people don’t realise goes to show how ubiquitous it is.

Think about it. “What is she wearing?” - historically, clothing rules dictated by men. Clothes design to censor and immobilise women.

“Look how fat she is!” Why would a woman care? Even if we thought of this in anthropological terms, there’s no benefit in women shaming other women in this way. What it really means is, I don’t want to have sex with her and it comes from men.

Why is she dressed like a slut? - Who coined the term slut? It certainly wasn’t women.

She’s asking for it - again, why would so many of these comments be focused on sex if they came from women?

I’m not saying it is perpetuated by women. It is. They say what they think people want to hear and they cast themselves into the majority as a result, which feels like a good move. But don’t be fooled - this is something that serves men and only men.

I compliment other women on a daily basis (not on looks, but doing a great job, thinking of other people, helping out when it was extra to their job), I try to support and encourage them in their careers.
I deliberately don't get drinks in meetings, or offer to take notes, because traditionally women are expected to take those tasks. (If I arrange a one to one meeting with a colleague I offer to get refreshments, as I think of that as hosting).

A bit niche, but I like this project:

REQUEST A WOMAN SCIENTIST
500womenscientists.org/request-a-scientist

And one of the ones it links to, which is how I first heard of this movement:

Diverse Sources
diversesources.org/about/

The projects came about because journalists in a hurry were reaching for the same-old-same-old when they needed a scientific talking head. The more a particular person was quoted, the more they got asked.

So selection bias affecting who got asked the first time (heads of department, mates of the boss, etc), was amplified.

These projects offer a broader range of scientists to call.

My small feminist act is to have puffed those here!

Thank you Jean. These small feminist acts combine to have big effects. Taken from an article in the New Scientist about patriarchy:
In righting things, solidarity is crucial, says Amy Parish at the University of Southern California, Los Angeles. She studies bonobo societies, which are patrilocal but female-dominated. Females weigh 15 per cent less than males – similarly to humans and chimps – yet Parish says they have the upper hand because they cooperate and form alliances. She sees a parallel with feminist movements: “The goal is to behave with unrelated females as if they are your sisters.”

My daughter’s have never heard me say anything negative about another woman’s appearance or clothes.

This was a conscious decision after I once heard my sister be so rude about a very successful woman to her teenage daughters. It was nasty, uncalled for and actually wrong - the woman is an amazing female role model and I couldn’t understand why you would try to tear her down in that way.