Hi, I'm Liz the Glitch! Ask me anything.

[glitchliz]

The thread I wrote about attending Posie Parker's panel on gender identity and social media has attracted a lot of attention, and I thought it might be good to establish more of a dialogue. Ask me anything!

Also, to get this one out of the way: my babysitting rates are £15/hr, plus flights, and I'll provide a clean CRB check 😂

When I'm interacting with people as a woman, being perceived as one, referred to with 'she' and 'her', that feels right. Being perceived as a man, interacting with people as a man, etc feels wrong.

Do you understand that there are many many females who, when they are 'interacting with people as a woman' (for example being sexually harassed, raped or sexually assaulted, denied an education, denied an abortion etc etc) don't feel 'right'? Does that mean they are not women? Can they 'identify' out of their womanhood?

If people respect your wishes and use your preferred pronoun, why then do you continue to use the word cis?

Trans is not an adjective like "tall" or "short", there are no subsets of women.

Transwomen are not women, they are transwomen.

however, to be perfectly clear an unambiguous, that is not a real problem because nobody needs to transition to be violent to women. We barely punish men for rape or sexual assault or domestic violence - transitioning does not facilitate that in the slightest

That's not true though - women in a women's prison for instance, could be reasonably happy that they wouldn't be shut in the showers with a male fellow prisoner. Now, relatively easily, a man can say he's a woman and get moved to the women's estate - and you propose making it easier still!

How do you know anybody perceives you as a women though? Even if someone address you in the manner you prefer, all that tells you is they are willing to acquiesce to your demands, it tells you nothing of how they actually perceive you.

Nobody can really tell what's going on in someone's head. However, if all external signs point to them accepting me, then what's the difference? Angsting over whether or not the bus driver really meant it when he said 'ma'am' is definitely a way to go crazy. In any case, I don't actually go around and make demands of how people address me. If people get my pronouns wrong, or whatever, then I'll correct them, but I'm exceptionally fortunate in that essentially everyone I interact with naturally gets it right. Lots of people are not in that situation, and they're valid too, and deserve respect.

If your mental health is contingent on people actually perceiving you the way you want them too and not just humoring you, how do you propose policing perception?

I don't think we should police thoughts, because that's nonsense. I think we should police actions.

How are you going to make people see a female when they see a male?

Obviously that's not possible. I'm all for widening what it means to be a man or a woman, though.

By not describing cis women as cis, and just using 'woman', you're implicitly saying that trans women are 'other', external, abnormal, when really it's a descriptor. You don't talk about 'women and tall women', for example.

No. I've never seen trans as abnormal. Trans means transition. Cis is pointless. Woman means adult human female.

Dear Liz

Welcome back. I'd like to ask:
Why you screenshot and shared to twitter the one transphobic comment made to you?
Did you then tell your followers it had been deleted?

I'd also like to ask:
How does it feel to have a lady brain, I just can't understand it? I rack my brain and apart from sex stereotypes I can't think what makes it female?

Also if you could reach a compromise with us would you? Could you see any way of making a new path?

Oh and thanks mumsnet for changing your mind. Respect

By not describing cis women as cis, and just using 'woman', you're implicitly saying that trans women are 'other', external, abnormal, when really it's a descripton

I can describe myself as a woman.

I can't describe myself as a black woman because I am not black.

I can't describe myself as a disabled woman because I'm not disabled.

I can't describe myself as a tall woman because I'm not tall.

I can't describe myself as a Muslim woman because I'm not Muslim.

I'm can't describe myself as a trans woman because......?

And what does that 'trans' prefix actually signify?

Transwoman has implications for health related matters based on sex. Medication. Heart attack symptoms.

My Gp couldn't care less if I'm a cis woman or a woman.

No, no. There is an objective reality. this idea of ‘my truth is valid’ is a postmodernist construct.

‘Your truth’ is your opinion. If it conflicts with reality, reality wins.

^ this

And this whole thread is pointless if you're just going to hash over stuff that's already been done to death and ignore the questions that make you uncomfortable. The fact is, people are asking questions on here - very specific, very legitimate questions - that have not as yet been addressed by the trans lobby. The most simple one being "what is a woman?". When I saw your OP, I thought (behind the slightly goady vibe), that we might actually get a proper debate and both sides might gain some understanding of the "opposition" for want of a better word. But that's clearly not on your agenda. Very ironic that you are shutting down some important (arguably the most important) aspects of the debate by refusing to engage with dozens of women here who are desperate to open a dialogue, whilst your followers on Twitter were talking about transwomen being shut out.

Identify with women if it makes sense.

Identifying as a woman is different.

If people have described you as a woman or girl from birth, and you're happy with that description, you're cis - i.e., not trans

Ahh - but I'm happy with being described as a woman if woman == adult, human, female.

If woman means 'nebulous internal feeling of just knowing' then no, I'm not happy being described as that kind of woman.

So that's why I'm just 'woman' - because I can't be a transwoman - as I'm female, I'm not a 'cis' woman because I don't have the 'woman' feels, I'm not agender because I don't believe in an innate gender at all. I'm just a woman. The female kind. No gender necessary.

Angsting over whether or not the bus driver really meant it when he said 'ma'am' is definitely a way to go crazy.

Do you think that some people may call you 'ma'am' not because they believe you are a woman, but because they do not want to be subjected to the sort of abusive tirade witnessed in that Game Shop video?

"what is a woman?"

A woman is someone who identifies as a woman - specifically, if you were to ask them the question 'are you a man, woman, neither, or both?' they'd answer 'woman' or 'both'.

Whether or not that person gets treated 'like a woman' by the rest of society, is another matter entirely. What makes someone treated like a woman by other people is extremely situational, temporal, and cultural.

However, if all external signs point to them accepting me, then what's the difference?

Well, it does make a difference. You the recipient gets their validation, what about the other person?

That’s a very interesting statement. You’re saying that as long as you get the reaction you want, then everyone else’s feelings are unimportant. So if a young girl gives you your acceptance signals but is scared, or confused, so what?

Fascinating.

Unfortunately that's not the case according to medical text books.

We can pretend that's the case but it's not.,

That definition is circular, and thus meaningless.

A woman is someone who identifies as a woman

Can you give another definition which isn't circular please (ie. Doesn't contain the word which you are actually supposed to be defining?)

A woman is someone who identifies as a woman - specifically, if you were to ask them the question 'are you a man, woman, neither, or both?' they'd answer 'woman' or 'both'.

If this is a woman, what is the name for someone born of the sex class that gestate the young? Do they have a right to organise themselves as a distinct group away from the sex class who impregnate them, for issues that affect only them?

How can violence (particularly directed against women, but also more generally) ever be the solution to a problem? And by "violence", I mean real world physical damage to a body as a result of impact from another body or an implement. Not emotional hurt - which I acknowledge can have physical symptoms, but is not a result of force.

If an organisation was genuinely interested in selling promotional items, including baseball bats, to raise awareness / money / whatever, why aren't they selling mini bats? They can still give someone a nasty bruise, mind, but unlikely to concuss them

And - baseball pedant speaking here - shouldn't they be selling softball bats, not just baseball bats? (To explain to UK readers who might be unaware: kids play T-ball, then boys / men play baseball and girls / women play softball. Different ball, different bat, different rules - pretty much a different game)

That’s a very interesting statement. You’re saying that as long as you get the reaction you want, then everyone else’s feelings are unimportant.

Yes, very interesting indeed.

A woman is someone who identifies as a woman - specifically, if you were to ask them the question 'are you a man, woman, neither, or both?' they'd answer 'woman' or 'both'.

So who is Jesus then? Can anyone be Jesus?

A woman is someone who identifies as a woman

No. That set encompasses potentially all of humanity, the name for that set is ‘people.’

Woman has a meaning, and that meaning is adult human female. Female means of the sex class that can bear live young and produce ova.

You are repeating what is essentially a faith based mantra. It has no internal logic,

Can humans change sex?

*"what is a woman?"

A woman is someone who identifies as a woman - specifically, if you were to ask them the question 'are you a man, woman, neither, or both?' they'd answer 'woman' or 'both'.*

But that doesn't answer what a woman IS.
What is a zipzorp?
A zipzorp is anything that says it is a zipzorp.

That definition does not tell you what a zipzorp actually is.

Do you think that some people may call you 'ma'am' not because they believe you are a woman, but because they do not want to be subjected to the sort of abusive tirade witnessed in that Game Shop video?

This is an interesting point. When I watch that video, I see a woman who is absolutely at the end of her rope, because I get it - I know what it's like to have your identity stripped from you casually by strangers. I don't condone how she responded, sure - but then, it isn't socially expected or acceptable for women to be loud or aggressive. That, however, that limitation of womanhood, is also a problem and is one we should be addressing too.

In any case, I'm pretty sure I don't come across as an intimidating person likely to fly off the handle, and in any case, 'being gendered correctly by people who are considerate or careful' and 'being gendered correctly by people who just perceive me as that gender' is a distinction without a useful difference.