Seeing as it's the weekend, on a lighter note...

[Freespeecher]

Greens: how can we win back our female voters?

Got it!

'Green Party Mayoral Contender hypnotises women to grow bigger boobs'.

order-order.com/2019/01/25/green-party-mayoral-contender-hypnotises-women-grow-bigger-boobs/

It does seem that there's a massive issue of lack of due diligence in so many political parties.

You’d find a better candidate going to Tesco, spinning in a circle with your eyes closed and pointing. Person you pointed at is you candidate.

Brian from Hull, is that you?

You’d find a better candidate going to Tesco, spinning in a circle with your eyes closed and pointing. Person you pointed at is you candidate.

Even if you ended up pointing at a sack of spuds you would.

Maris Piper! Our new candidate!

I love Maris. I would totally vote for Maris in the next election.👍

Brian from Hull, is that you?

Haha that was my first thought too

Well everyone likes chips, Maris could run on the chip ticket

Maris is so versatile! They always have one eye on the no I'm sorry I just can't

"Welcome, sex obsessed blokes who're looking for creative ways to get around women's inconvenient tendency to tell you to piss off!" reads the Green Party recruiting material, apparently.

From the comments:

Post Turtle.

Seems like politics isn't the only field that has its post turtles, but it does seem to be the one that has the highest percentage of them...

Maris Piper?

good lord people. every one knows king edwards are the only tuber worth voting for

Splitter!

Post turtles!

Every day's a school day on mumsnet.

I listened to an episode of great lives recently. the guest (can't remember who), had nominated Vera Brittain. Dame Shirley Williams was on as the expert witness.

I may not agree with all of her politics, but by god that is a serious woman who has dedicated her life to public service. And Zach wants to follow in her footsteps. jesus christ.

every one knows king edwards are the only tuber worth voting for

Vote for a king?anyway, I think the Greens have republican leanings, so Maris is still the front runner... though I could see them going for a Desirée

Are Jersey Royals the choice for fans of federalism and Smash the choice for anarchists?
Buying Birds Eye Potato Waffles will become a complex political statement..
Pic attached the proletariat's choice.

I've just realised We can't vote for potatoes, they're from the New World so that's supporting colonialism. So no potatoes, tobacco or anything American. We should vote for cheddar Vs Lancashire no? Omg we can't have tea either! better ignore me then

What a lot of waffle . He is hypnotising women to go to the boob or bust website.
He is a great supporter of women .
Bravo!

Or Bravissimo!

I feel I should put my vote in for the humble Conference Pear.
When you want one it's like eating wood, but two days later it dissolves into a pile of mush.
The perfect candidate, surely?