Got stared at in the restroom

[GrinitchSpinach]

Another day, another male who feels entitled to use women's spaces. Responses all support the male's "right" to be there, discount the woman's obvious discomfort with the male's presence.

Restroom and bathroom really make me smirk. Being a northern woman (therefore male) I prefer calling a spade a spade and a toilet a bog or a shitter.

We are still allowed to look at trans people are we? Or should we demurely cast our eyes down? Don't some cultures expect women to do that with men?

But yes, it must have been terrifying, the thought of what this female bodied person with a small child might have done. I mean they might have even, I dunno, said words or something. Like "erm, I've got the right restroom yeah? This is the ladies?"

Then the person saying they couldn't eat, because of "the look". What a drama queen. Get over yourself.

Unrelated, but makes me happy....
I gave Boris Johnson a Paddington stare once. He looked down. It was a proper mum hard look of crossness.

Do they not realise that when they look completely male, and masculine, and like a man dressed up in women's clothes, it sometimes takes some time for a woman to process what the fuck is a man doing in here? Oh wait, is he trans? I can't figure it out...All the while whilst staring. And too right. I mean, for fucks sake, are we as women not even allowed to raise our eyes at a transwomen in case we somehow "intimidate" them whilst somewhere that is supposed to be a safe place for us??

That mother was almost thinking how glad she was that she did not leave her child to go to the "restroom" alone.

Next time she won't even consder it. So another duty on her, whilst he DH is still at the table enjoying his beer. Another small loss of independence for her child. And another small sign that this world is for men and women have to be careful.

I love how this thread is now taking potshots at North American’s for saying restroom and bathroom

Brits sound like twats when you say front bottom, you are hardly in a position to criticise how others say things

glad to see people focusing on the real issues here

Eh? Only TRAs say 'front bottom' and Americans are leading the way there.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying bathroom or restroom but who the hell says front bottom? I've never heard anyone say that here in the UK?

And another small sign that this world is for men and women have to be careful.

Yes, that's exactly why I posted it. It's the thing someone said upthread (sorry don't remember who) about this being an act of dominance disguised as "rights for the oppressed." And man-dominates-women-and-children is a really, really, really old story.

Meet the new boss; same as the old boss.

Wow that’s wild because the first time I heard front bottom was right here on good old mumsnet

In fact just searched it as a term and it comes up eleventy billion times on the eleventy billion ‘what shall I call my daughter’s bits’ threads

but go off, I guess

again, why have solidarity with women when you could be having a go at Americans I guess

If I said front bottom to anyone IRL they'd think I was insane. It is not a British term.

It could possibly be a MN term though.

Search it on here then if you don’t believe me

Not surprising men think they can be women in a place where people can’t tell a vulva from an arse

You're in a toilet with a child and you realise the other person in there - a stranger - appears to be male. Too bloody right you're going to watch them. That individual may identify as a woman but they clearly don't have the foggiest idea what it's like to be one.

And I sincerely hope I'm never in an enclosed space with the person sneering at 'freaked out cis'.

Not surprising men think they can be women in a place where people can’t tell a vulva from an arse
Tbf that was quite funny. The restroom vs toilet thing is a derail, Americans do use more twee expressions than we do but that doesn't mean we don't use them at all.
I think what's interesting about this story is that even through the protagonist is young and not yet confident, the mother still hasn't reported him, there's no interaction with restaurant staff, there's no angry husband challenging him.
So the woman has kept quiet, while the protagonist learns to push boundaries further, with support from online chums.
Nice.

Calm down Madge
It's just British sense of humour and all that. I'm going to smirk at front bottom too...

Someone explaining terms is taking pot shots now?

Hi fives EJennings" or a fistbump if you prefer ... and thanks for bringing this back on track.

This story reminds me of Eddie Izzard's tale of how a bunch of teenage girls chased him out of women's loos when he went there to change into his woman outfit, back when he was a non-famous crossdresser. He seems to think that he was the victim in that situation. I'm not sure what he expected the girls to do - recognise a famous "action transvestite" from the future, or go 'oh, he's wearing makeup, he's harmless"?
You'd think that people who feel so victimised would be able to empathise with women and respect our spaces and boundaries.

Brits sound like twats when you say front bottom, you are hardly in a position to criticise how others say things

Completely agree - but the fact that British people also use stupid words doesn't make it any less twee to call a room full of toilets a 'rest room'.

Awww don't diss front bottom (as it were) that's what we called it in our house when I was wee...nostalgia!

My mum used the terms 'front bottie' and 'back bottie'. She was from Wigan.

I've never heard anyone say that here in the UK? ie front bottom.

Ben Kingsley in "Sexy Beast?" However, the character Don was just a little unstable.

Front bottom is in the same stable as lady garden and undercarriage. Slightly tongue in cheek (as it were).

It's possible that could be lost on an American.