Tiny Acts of Feminism

[littlecabbage]

I’m interested to know what other “tiny acts of feminism” other feminists here like to perform on a daily basis. I like to think that every little helps when it comes to equality of the sexes. Some of mine include:

Always making sure I say the gender neutral “firefighter”, “police officer”, etc when talking about jobs to my kids.

Addressing letters/cards for people to “their first name” “their surname”, i.e. avoiding the use of titles which distinguish whether a woman is married or not, but do not distinguish the same for a man.

Making sure that when on long journeys in the car as a family, I drive one way, and my husband drives the other (in my family growing up, Dad always did the driving, even though my Mum was perfectly capable).

Ensuring I speak to the maitre d’ at a restaurant on behalf of DH and I, at least as often as he does.

I would love to hear about other minor acts I can incorporate into daily life.

Sadly, there are workplaces where they'll insist on 'gender' being used rather than sex. It's the new thing.
The way things are going, it'll soon be an offence to use the term 'sex', or it will become synonymous with gender again - where it's whatever someone feels like and anywhere in-between.

I've been thinking about this thread today - I've been out - and decided to stop calling DD by a pet name.

It's not actually a particularly feminine name (an animal) but It's not a nickname I would be using for a DS of the same age.

Funny, how you stop and think isn't it?

It is a good thing that we always reevaluate our beliefs and question things. I think sometimes we might get too caught up in details that probably matter, but we could be doing other things with more impact instead, but that's a lifetime of continuous assessment.

I also don't think we should beat ourselves up too much if we call a daughter pretty or tell a son to be brave. It might not be the ideal, but we are all human and we're conditioned too - sometimes it comes out. C'est la vie.

We need big ones too.

Like this: 'women wall'.

Women in the southern Indian state of Kerala have formed a 620km (385-mile) human chain "in support of gender equality", amid a row over access to a prominent Hindu temple

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-46728521

Omg HandsOffMyRights I just watched Birdbox and I didn't even think of that. I think Sandra Bullock is supposed to be younger in the movie though, since she's pregnant by accident, I think she was supposed to be 40-45.

Other posters have said the same, before, which encouraged me - not moving over to make way for men when walking along a street or pavement. Refusing to duck and dive around men. Not stepping into the road to make way for men.

When I’m congratulating a man whose partner has just had a baby, I ask him if he’s going to go part time and how he plans to juggle work and being a dad.

^ yes this.

I absolutely think this message should be spread far and wide.

"Dont move out of the way when walking towards men"

WTF! So being a feminist means being just plain rude!

Its behaviour like that which is counterproductive and just gives feminism a bad name.

Why is it rude to not cede the way to a man? Presumably he is also then being rude, if he hasn't moved out of the way? Does that mean he's giving all men a bad name?

WTF! So being a feminist means being just plain rude!

But it's only rude when women do it?

The whole point is that men (namalt) fully expect women to cede space as they approach. It's automatic.

Not ceding it shocks them.

Try it.

Datun

Not sure what kind of people you hang around with, but I've never experienced this. Ever. In fact it's usually the opposite, with men stepping to one side as we pass in a corridor. I don't need to try anything.

I stand by my point though. Explicitly Provocative shit like that just gives feminism a bad name.

Not to mention the overtly sexist statement that men expect women to cede space.

Whowouldathunkit it's simply not perpetuating the stereotype that women's default is to flutter round the men apologetically.

The reference is to out and about generally, not with co workers or people you know.

I find it fascinating that you view such a tiny thing as "deliberately provocative shit" that gives all of feminism a bad name. It's a bit of massive overreaction.

And could you answer, if a man doesn't give way, does that mean that they give all men a bad name?

Oh it's absolutely a thing that they expect you to move - it's like manspreading. Owning space. I didn't realise I'd been conditioned to facilitate it until I stopped doing it and the confusion and horror from them is very real.

As an extreme example, didn't some runner literally push a woman in front of a bus last year?

The not moving out of the way thing is actually a really good way to show your own conditioning. We're not talking about the courtesy of going through doors, etc, or trying to be deliberately rude. This is about going about your normal everyday lives and how much physical space women give over to men without even realising it. Sitting on a train and budging up when a man sits next to you, walking along a street and automatically moving to one side to make space. Once you become aware how often you do this without realising it is quite an eye opener.

I wouldn't advise it when the man is looking at his phone though. I had one almost walk on top of me. You need eye contact. I think I first realised it when I had DC and the folk almost falling into the pushchair all turned out to be men.

This happens to me regularly, the last time 3 men took up the pavement walking 3 abreast. I think I was expected to step into the road.
The way I deal with it is to stand still and then they have the choice to act with decency or walk into you. When they do, they find it embarrassing. It helps to highlight how aggressive their behaviour is.

My DH notices that nobody walks out of the way of a buggy. (Obviously lesser beings push buggies.)
Especially men.

Being a more hefty man, he started not giving way (buggies are way less manoeuvrable than pedestrians anyway), and when I saw him doing it, I started too. It's even more noticeable than men not giving way in general.

Why should I have to be walking on the verge or the road just because a man is being lazily rude and antisocial? Nope. Not zigzagging for arrogant and antisocial men anymore. I'm not the one blocking the path, walking down the middle or over on the right, and blocking anyone's way. I'm, you know, following normal etiquette, keeping over on the left so people can pass if they need, and I'm not obstructing people walking in the opposite direction. So these guys are just going to have to make use of that spatial awareness, or maybe even learn basic commonsense and manners.

It's really just walking as assertively as a typical bloke - except (obviously) I would always 'give way' to someone with mobility problems or encumbered with small children etc. Be neither a dick nor a doormat.

Be neither a dick nor a doormat.

I'm going to make this my new life philosophy!

Whowouldathunkit

You may not have noticed it, or it might genuinely not happen at your work.

It certainly happens in a busy street.

Try it. Do not make eye contact, just keep walking. They will often be inches from your face before they realise it is they who actually need to move. And you often get an oops sorry!

Men are conditioned to keep walking, because magically women move out of the way.

I hadn't realised I did it too, until someone mentioned it. It's quite unnerving to realise.