Tiny Acts of Feminism

[littlecabbage]

I’m interested to know what other “tiny acts of feminism” other feminists here like to perform on a daily basis. I like to think that every little helps when it comes to equality of the sexes. Some of mine include:

Always making sure I say the gender neutral “firefighter”, “police officer”, etc when talking about jobs to my kids.

Addressing letters/cards for people to “their first name” “their surname”, i.e. avoiding the use of titles which distinguish whether a woman is married or not, but do not distinguish the same for a man.

Making sure that when on long journeys in the car as a family, I drive one way, and my husband drives the other (in my family growing up, Dad always did the driving, even though my Mum was perfectly capable).

Ensuring I speak to the maitre d’ at a restaurant on behalf of DH and I, at least as often as he does.

I would love to hear about other minor acts I can incorporate into daily life.

I work in school admin and occasionally help out in the medical room. When we have a sick child I often ring the dad first. With frequent hilarious consequences I might add.

Love this!

In agreement, esp changing gender to sex on any forms I’m asked to complete and thanks for new ideas too. I’ll keep plugging away in 2019.

I will direct my donations to those charities that support women and am looking into micro lending. I am asking my library to stock feminist texts.

Part of the longer term trans strategy has been to create the myth they do not have equal rights, I will be counteracting every statement I come across that is at the expense of women’s rights. #women matter #women’s rights are human rights #woman:adult human female #women are real.

Yes I've been changing forms.

@rededucator, are you still not clear? I could explain a bit more but don't want to patronise. However, I literally had to have it spelt. out. Slowly. with. examples. till I got it.

I get that (I'm 45) but what I meant - and didn't articulate, sorry - is that male leads over 50 can look how they want/look their age and still have younger partners. As in the two films I cited

I'd like them to cast other women in their 50s or 60s in lead roles. When I google actresses over 50 - it simply gives me a list of 'beautiful' actresses over 50 (obvs men's lists are not like that).

I want to know if they'd cast a few normal women like me, such as Kathy Burke, Frances McDormand alongside younger males, as they do the other way round.

I change forms too.
The sex v gender difference took me ages to grasp. I started reading threads in FWR about a year ago and I was really confused because I thought that they meant the same thing. It took ages for it to become clear to me, but from then on after the penny dropped I started to explain the difference in rl and began changing the words on forms.

Personally I think a girl can be told she is pretty and still be encouraged to use her brain. Growing up in Cambridge meant I was able to see this on a regular basis, especially when they were having yet another posh do.

I need it dumbed down even further. What is sex vs gender?

In a lighthearted and helpful manner, It's explained in any dictionary. If you don't have one there are copies in any library.

Gender - society's or cultural expectations of people based on their sex.
Sex - biological reality.

I always cross put "Gender" on forms and write "sex" above it too. Small act of rebellion. No idea what my son's nursery make of that.

Personally I think a girl can be told she is pretty and still be encouraged to use her brain.

Yes, but it emphasises to her that looks are important and that you should care how society (men) judge you based on your looks. Not healthy.

Being pretty isn't an achievement - it is luck.

I know where you are coming from and I respectfully disagree. I know societal mores blah blah blah, but the fact is my daughter does have to go to school and will have to compete with other girls. Having to rely on your brains when you don’t look right is hard, from personal experience.

I'm a moderator on another board and just pointed out if something terrible happened which got us in the news I'd be promoted to Admin like a shot with the current bosses backing quickly away. It's fascinating how internet is a macrocosm of society.

Patronise away.

Do you understand the term 'biological sex', the sex you are born with?

You are either male or female. You cannot change your sex.

'Gender' is not a physical reality. Its the way society expects you to behave, based on your sex. We know gender is not real because its different in different cultures.
An example of gender stereotyping would be shaming a boy for crying, liking the colour pink, or wanting to learn ballet.

Don't use "good girl/boy" to DC - instead "Well done for..." "Thank you for... that was really..." "I'm proud of you, " etc.

Likewise avoid "Big boys/girls

I know societal mores blah blah blah, but the fact is my daughter does have to go to school and will have to compete with other girls.

Some of the problem right there.
Whilst men will use looks as a criteria for judging women, so will other women. Arguably, and very sadly, in order to get acceptance from... men.

This competition stuff is a huge part of the problem because it's creating a hierarchy of 'better' and 'worse' not a spectrum of differences.

I really enjoyed this essay by Deborah Cameron on sex and gender:
debuk.wordpress.com/2016/12/15/a-brief-history-of-gender/

It's a nice essay and it illustrates how we've developed a new interpretation of gender (or rather new interpretations). But it still leaves so much scope for confusion as we can't define it very well. I think a couple of the reasons we struggle to define it is because a) It's not a scientific description, but more of a subjective one and b) it's in some people's interests to keep the definition of it very loose

the fact is my daughter does have to go to school and will have to compete with other girls. Having to rely on your brains when you don’t look right is hard, from personal experience.

I can't get my head round what you mean by that at all... girls shouldn't have to be focussed on 'competing' with other girls (I'm assuming you mean for the approval of boys?) on the basis of their looks while they're at school. wtf does 'when you don't look right' mean? 'Right' by whose standards?

(And once again I'm glad that, although not primarily done for feminist reasons, DD went to a girls school).

I might have had scope for a tiny act of feminism in a conversation today about the numbers of female and male students running a couple of schools physics outreach events, and the numbers of girls and boys attending (about 50:50) but DD and DH are both 100% on message already.

rededucator

Do you get it now? It just shows how far the word gender has gone, if we don't realise it means something different to sex.

Sex is whether you are male or female. People started to use gender, as a more polite way of saying sex. Gender reveal parties for babies, etc. When it was the sex of the baby they were actually revealing.

Gender is masculine or feminine. And is dictated by society. And will change across geography and history.

Pink used to be a boy's colour. Men used to wear make up and high heels. Women were the first coders as it was considered a feminine skill to be paying such attention to detail.

Gender means what society thinks are masculine and feminine, and then attaching them to a sex.

Boys don't cry, don't show emotion, Male fighting is glorified, etc.

Women are pretty, quiet, nurturing, illogical etc.

With the advent of transgenderism gender is being set in stone as something that really does reflect the sex of the person. Men wearing dresses and make up are women. Thereby making dresses and make up something that only women wear. Cementing gender stereotypes to the point where if you display them, it actually means you have changed sex!

Hence butch, nonconforming lesbians being told they must be men. Because they are butch and attracted to women.

So when people ask for your gender, they're not really asking that. Because gender doesn't mean sex. When the doctor's receptionist asks your gender she really wants to know if you are a man or a woman. Not if you like dresses or not.

So replacing gender with sex is setting the record straight, and clarifying language that is being deliberately muddied.

Very clear explanation, Datun.

My own recent micro-feminism action was to say in a team appraisal meeting that a male employee whose wife was about to have a baby might decide to come back from paternity leave part-time or do compressed hours, since he will have family commitments to balance.

Yes sorry I didn't manage to return to explain. New Year's Day afternoon brain mush took over.

Datun is the ruler of awesome explanations.

It matters on medical forms as some drugs and conditions affect biological males and female differently.

It matters on medical forms as some drugs and conditions affect biological males and female differently.

This is something so often overlooked in the Transwomen are women debacle.
Transwomen should never be classed as fully qualified women whilst there is a biological / medical difference as it can endanger both them and biological women.

I recently changed every instance of the word “gender” to “sex” in a report about the outcome of a recent discrimination case that’s been making headlines in my industry.

As so often, I suspect the (younger, male) authors of the report simply felt more comfortable without the word “sex” in their report.

12 months ago I wouldn’t have even noticed it, now thanks to FWR I see it everywhere.