We argue every time I bring up feminism

[SnowyRobin]

Every time I bring it up.. argument!

He takes feminism as a personal insult.. how do I fix this?!

OP, you will end up as your DP's mother if you don't make some changes now.

When you were looking for a partner, did you want one that belittled you, called you names, made you feel bad? Because you can choose not to have that NOW as well as then.

Christ OP. What’s the toll going to say if - god forbid - you are subjected to a serious sexual assault? You were wearing the wrong knickers? You can see this is wrong and you won’t unsee it. Get out. Unless you want to be exactly like his mother.

*tool

You're going to be his mother in 30 years time, OP. Think carefully about whether this is what you want

And it's not about whether he supports feminism or any other labels. It's about him having some basic respect for you

And it's not about whether he supports feminism or any other labels. It's about him having some basic respect for you

It really is the latter. I hope the OP found something useful in the replies

"I just feel lost between him and his father's opinion on things. It's more of a silly drunk ranty thread in defense of his mother really. She's absolutely miserable with her EA husband of 40 years."
And in what way does his opinion of feminism and the place of women in society differ from his father's, @SnowyRobin? I doubt you could get a fag-paper between them .

Look at his mother's "absolutely miserable" life, Snowy. That is your future, if you choose this man for your life-partner. Personally, I wouldn't. I would run.

@SnowyRobin

"His dad began ranting tonight about women voted before 1918 and how feminism forgets men.

Whenever I bring it up against them I'm called a 'dumb' or 'stupid bitch'."

From a bloke's point of view, I think the language is bang out of order, particularly from someone very close to you.
The dad is showing total ignorance about suffrage and the women's vote, because in 1918 (not before), in the UK, men over 21 and SOME women over 30 won the right to vote. It wasn't until 1928 that all women over 21 won the right to vote.
The pair of them sound like caricatures of "Alf Garnett".

andyoldlabour

I have noticed you often make intelligent and "feminist" (i.e. aiming for male and female equality) comments. Thank you.

He has no respect for you and your opinions are worth nothing to him so he will never listen to you. As far as he is concerned, women are less valuable than men. You will never be allowed to gain equality in your relationship as that would require that he relinquished some power and he has no reason to do that.

I have never been insulted by my DH no matter what we have argued about.

as one of the posters who has confessed to anti-feminist sentiments I’d be happy to discuss my stumbling blocks over pm or on another thread, but uncomfortable to do so here where actual sex based oppression is tangibly evident making the need for feminism so blatantly obvious.

I don't think this thread is appropriate for pontificating that actual sex based oppression is tangibly evident making the need for feminism so blatantly obvious

This is one individual who has a nasty bully for a partner. I suspect if he has children he will bully them too. The practical advice the OP needs is to recognise he is a bully and that the way he speaks to her is bullying and unacceptable.

As someone else said it's not about whether he supports feminism or any other labels. It's about him having some basic respect for you

Pontificating is a very dismissive word. Bullying requires a power imbalance.

It was meant to be dismissive. This isn't an appropriate thread for feminist theory and speaking in generalities.

A bully requires a power imbalance- that power does not necessarily have to be sex- based.

Is it an appropriate thread for feminism?

The op has specifically raised her dp's objection to feminism as being her issue of concern. And yet others jump in to say this is no place for feminism since she is clearly being bullied by her dp whose dad coincidentally treats his mum like crap. But no let's leave sex inequality out if this today.

Please leave him before he abuses you.

Whenever I bring it up against them I'm called a 'dumb' or 'stupid bitch'.

This is not ok.

Thinking you should be fine with being groped...it's not ok.

Going into rants and name calling because you're expressing an opinion is not ok.

You could make it about feminism if you wanted to, but the real issue is that he is an arrogant,abusive bully.

It's only going to get worse.