Children with mother’s surname?

[Cassie85]

Hey everyone!

Wasn’t sure if this was suitable to be posted here but hopefully it is.

Just wondering how many of you guys have children with mother’s surname?

My DS has my surname, which I am very pleased about. His father was appalled at this idea but I stood my ground with it. We weren’t married when DS was born, and our relationship wasn’t great and has since ended. I am so pleased I stuck to my guns about this.

A few people have asked me if I feel bad about this, haha. The answer is that I don’t, I don’t see why men assume that the surname is an automatic thing and not even up for discussion.

What do people think?

Bingo!

I have a few friends whose partner won't marry them so the children have dad's name and mum has her own. I wouldn't stand for it myself! If they wouldn't marry me, I'd give the kids my name, no question.

I kept my surname and my daughter's have my surname too. I couldn't imagine it any other way. My dh wasn't happy at first but he got over it 😁

Travelling overseas can be a bit more hassle and stressful if you give the child a different name to you

double barrelled here and we both kept our names as they were after marriage

what happens when 2 people with double barrelled surnames have a baby?
In my homeland the baby gets the first surname from the parents to create hers
So Laura Melon Potato marries Peter Carrot Cake
And they have John Melon Carrot or John Carrot Melon

Hopefully they will have better surnames too

Excellent examples

I get so bored of answering that question I am glad someone else has done it

It doesn't take a huge amount of imagination to consider that parents who both have two surnames have a huge number of options when it comes to naming their children...

But so many people just go "OMG four surnames WHATEVER NEXT"

🤦🏻‍♀️

4 names - lots of combos to choose from.

@AnotherEmma

My dc have their fathers surname, for the simple fact that I hate mine. My surname is my fathers surname and he was a horrible horrible abusive man who made all of our lives hell. I can’t just change mine as I’m known professionally by it, but I cringe inside every time I hear it. Im a feminist but I wasn’t bestowing that on my children just to prove a point.

Plus DP has a lovely sounding ‘known but not common’ name which I preferred.

My son has my surname, he was born before I was married to his father so I insisted. We're divorced now and my son still has my surname. I grew him in my body so it's right and proper he should have my surname.

My children have my partner's surname (I'm a guy) because it's a much nicer name than mine, plus I'm not bothered about the 'family name' thing. It was a conscious decision to use her name, and I'm pleased we did. The fact that I have a different surname is not an issue.

One day I hope to take her surname too - the only thing stopping me is the amount of effort required to get it changed, especially now when my identity is on hundreds of websites and will need changing everywhere.

My DD has my surname hyphen father's surname.

My children have my surname and it hasn’t caused any problems. Also makes travelling easier.

Ds1 has my surname. Ds2 has dps surname but my surname as a middle name. If we ever get married I'd consider slipping in a hyphen and double barrelling. Ds2 has dps surname because we couldn't agree on first names so dp got the choice between first name or surname. He chose surname but I still slipped my surname in regardless.

But if you choose to drop two surnames from the four surnames available from two parents with double-barrelled / multiple surnames, don't you risk offending the bits of the family whose names are dropped?

(I know that sentence sounds confusing!)

Thinking about the number of posters who get into all kinds of knots about naming their baby after great aunt Mabel and also having to keep the family tradition of children having Mary in their name (or whatever)

It'll offend them less than never being in the name in the first place.

I kept my name when I married. On their birth certificates, both my children have double barrelled surnames. Mine, followed by husband’s - which works OK. However, in day to day life, they use my surname,as double barrelled is a bit meh. Husband is fine with this.

But if you choose to drop two surnames from the four surnames available from two parents with double-barrelled / multiple surnames, don't you risk offending the bits of the family whose names are dropped?

But if everyone avoided making a sensible social change for fear of offending someone, then society would never change.

In practice, people I know with two surnames have either passed on the first of the surnames (as a pp noted), or differ by sex where women pass on the maternal surname and men pass on the paternal surname.

That is, Jane has the surname Banana Radish, where Banana came from her mother and Radish from her father. She marries a man called John Melon Potato, where Melon came from his mother and Potato from his father. They call their kids DD Banana Potato and DS Banana Potato. They are usually known as a family as the Banana Potatoes, in the case I know (thankfully not their real names ). It works quite well.

That is why we went with our method of picking one essentially randomly.