Children with mother’s surname?

[Cassie85]

Hey everyone!

Wasn’t sure if this was suitable to be posted here but hopefully it is.

Just wondering how many of you guys have children with mother’s surname?

My DS has my surname, which I am very pleased about. His father was appalled at this idea but I stood my ground with it. We weren’t married when DS was born, and our relationship wasn’t great and has since ended. I am so pleased I stuck to my guns about this.

A few people have asked me if I feel bad about this, haha. The answer is that I don’t, I don’t see why men assume that the surname is an automatic thing and not even up for discussion.

What do people think?

Where did you get your surname from then?
It had been part of my identity for 30 odd years. I was going to surrender it simply because I got married.

I really wish I'd given child my surname, she has mine as an extra middle name. We're separated and I try not to regret, he was a massive arse about it and many other things. I wouldn't change my name if I married but it's pretty unlikely I ever will.

My mum told me once that that used to be what happened in days of old if the mother was unmarried unless the father was prepared to accept the child as his (in the days when wives and children were the property of men). It’s a relatively modern tradition of couples giving their children the father’s name when they’re unmarried as it’s relatively modern for couples to be unmarried. I don’t know how true that is though.

Dd has my name, ds has dh's. Fair's fair and all that.

I'm happy with our choice. However, people do assume my husband is MrAwrite and are surprised to learn otherwise.

Dd is a teen and had said she will never change her name.

Something ds will probably never have to think about.

My dc's have XP's surname. He wouldn't let me use mine alone or double barrel it.

I'm married and changed my name and dc have my married name. But if I hadn't been married when I had dc I would definitely have given them my name.

Megle- what would happen if you just done it at the registry office?

In my country ALL children have their mother's surname. They don't always have their father's. Most children have a first name and their mother's surname followed by their father's surname. The noruon of a child not having her mother's surname is very weird to me even though i know it's how it usually works in many countries.

noruon = notion

We did it like that. Mother‘s surename and dad‘s faith (that Catholics don‘t allow female priests had always vexed me, anyway.)

cassie I dread to think, I didn't dare. He was screaming at me in the house when we discussed it, so I backed down.

Both my children have mines but it's double barrelled with my partners.

Wish it was just mines because he comes and goes as he pleases.

I would never have allowed it to be just his name. His family believe it's his and I have the most pleasure in telling them it most definitely is not 🙂

DD has OH's surname(we're not married) as her name would sound very wrong with mine. Just like when we will get married i will keep my surname as his would sound very wrong with my name. Rightly or wrongly that was the only rationale behind it.

Where did you get your surname from then?

From my mother.

This pathetic little dig means nothing. Just that in the past names have generally come from fathers. The fact that it used to happen does not mean it should continue.

My DC has my surname. I was married when he was born.
I've always liked my surname and wanted to pass it on. XH wasn't that bothered.
I don't know anyone else who has done this (double-barrelled or hers if they weren't married, yes but not a DC with only mothers surname when parents were married).

My dd has my surname! But her father isn’t on the birth certificate he walked out when I was pregnant so it was an easy decision. If i had another child they would always have my name! Would be happy to change mine and dds if I got married though

I didn't change my name on marriage, but the DCs have their fathers name - mainly because double-barrelling would produce something rather risible. He was more bothered about it than I was, and both names are a bit 'meh' individually, so there was no compelling reason not to go with his preference.

But if we had not been married, then they would definitely have had my surname.

Mine do. I offered their dad the option on one of them but he declined.

Wasn’t a ‘pathetic little dig’ just a question. I kept the family name as the name would die out in my generation (in our branch of the family anyway). Obviously it came from my dads side and not mums.

My children have my name. We were married. I didn't change my name. DD1 has given GC her name (her dp's name is middle name) Several friends have given their DCs the mother's name. XH's "new" children have his DW's name (like to think I set the precedent there!)

I know very few people with double barrelled names - and the ones I do know it's the father's double barrelled name (ie not a mix of DM and DF). TBH, don't think it works into adulthood.

My children have my surname only, it wasn't even a dilemma. DP and I will probably get married next year at some point but I won't be changing my name and neither will the kids. DP says he will change his.

DS has both our surnames, mine first.

I didn't change my name when i got married, despite mine constantly being spelt and pronounced wrongly and DH's being neither of those. His name is rather a comedy name and i couldn't face introducing myself as ElQuinto Felchington, or the equivalent.

However, DSname O'Farquar Felchington suits him just fine.

Of the 10 weddings i have been to, only 2 have not changed their surname.

There was a thread like this about a week ago with the same points of view aired. Do what is right for your family but don't berate women who do not follow your way of thinking.

I know a Spanish guy and we were talking recently about naming traditions, and he was saying that in Spain the child has both the mother's and father's surnames which are double barrelled. Where it differs to the way things are done in the UK is that it has to LEGALLY be;

Dd is a teen and had said she will never change her name.

I said that until I met someone who’s name
I liked better and then I did. Shallow or what although if I had my time again I’m not sure that I would.

I took my husband’s surname so our children have our name but had we not been married I’d have preferred them to have my name.