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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Has anyone seen that video of the barmaid in Cardiff whose colleague "hugged" her so hard she passed out?

89 replies

Titsywoo · 10/12/2018 12:07

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/work-christmas-party-headlock-left-15501909

The "hug" was how I heard it portrayed from another news source. The video is one of the most disturbing things I have seen in a long time. The fact that the incident was downplayed by all the men involved including her bosses is very worrying. The fact the man in the video seems to be laughing as he lets go of her... It is very upsetting.

OP posts:

OrchidInTheSun · 10/12/2018 12:56

Judge Frazer wrote: "She was able to carry on at work without suffering any real psychological effects, working alongside Mr Webb, until March.
"In March the Claimant observed two incidents that made her perceive the Christmas party incident in a different way.
"Rightly or wrongly, she formed the view from these incidents that he had the capacity to be violent towards women. This made her believe that she had been the victim of insidious violence at the hands of Mr Webb.

Rightly or wrongly? FFS. He deliberately strangled her until she passed out. I think we can safely say that's violence against women. It says he's been charged.

I hope those managers go down too.

Hidingtonothing · 10/12/2018 12:58

I wonder what the two subsequent 'incidents' were which made her think he was violent to women? Video is horrible and what he did was obviously intentional.

SonicVersusGynaephobia · 10/12/2018 13:17

Fucking men. Seriously, how do so many men think this is "banter"? What kind of a person does this to another human? And in plain sight too?

How is he not in jail? There is video evidence of what he did, FFS. I'm surprised the CCTV footage didn't mysteriously go missing.

Since the criminal justice system has been wholly ineffective here, I hope the civil courts hits the owners where it hurts (because they clearly couldn't care less either). I doubt the settlement from an employment tribunal is significant, but hopefully this now also gives her an avenue to pursue an injury claim against her former employers as well.

That poor woman; that feeling she talks of about being disposable to those men is such an awful feeling to have on top of something like that happening in the first place, no wonder she has PTSD, anxiety and depression.

MoltenLasagne · 10/12/2018 13:32

Molly's told the tribunal she had since learned that her facial paralysis is more permanent than first thought and she may never be able to smile again. She said she was told her injuries were “were either caused by lack of oxygen or nerve damage”.

The tribunal heard that Mr Webb was arrested over the incident but was released under investigation and remained employed by the Cameo Club after the incident.

From the article - so this is a man who has been captured on video causing permanent damage to a woman, who could have easily killed her in fact, and he's not faced any charges despite it happening over a year ago? Fucking hell.

OrchidInTheSun · 10/12/2018 13:34

No charges and he kept his job. He strangled a colleague until she passed out and he received no sanctions. Then again, we live in a country where men can stab women in the neck and get away with it if they claim she liked rough sex

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/12/2018 13:41

HollowTalk · 10/12/2018 13:44

It's so disgusting. He strangled her. And the company is still employing him! I can't believe there wasn't a police case against him.

SonicVersusGynaephobia · 10/12/2018 13:48

This has made me so angry.

This is a perfect example of the problem with our perceptions of consent/sexual violence - although I know this wasn't "sexual violence", just violence starting off as a sort of friendly intimacy - but the end result is the same. It's always suggested that there was a line that the poor man didn't realise he was stepping over. Like the Belfast rape trial, she consented to a kiss with one man, therefore it's reasonable to assume she was happy to be gang-raped and have her insides torn. Because how were they supposed to know that that wasn't OK? It's such a fine line, isn't it, that how could a man ever know?

Here we have a hug. A hug is OK, lots of people hug. She didn't look like she had much choice about the hug, IMO, but she probably didn't really mind. But it wasn't a hug - it was, as it always is, a man displaying his power and aggression over a woman. She stopped feeling comfortable with the hug, then tried to escape. And then, since he doesn't care about whether she wants it, because it was never a "hug" in the first place - that was just the means used to get close enough in proximity to inflict violence upon her - she finds she can't get away and he strangles her.

And it's on CCTV, as clear as day to every single person who watches it. And yet, we still have the police and her bosses suggesting that this wasn't an act of pure violence?

Fuck this shit.

Emptyspace · 10/12/2018 13:49

The poor woman woke up the next day thinking she had had a stroke. She had no idea what he had done until she saw the cctv.

Has he since been arrested?

AngryAttackKittens · 10/12/2018 13:54

We seem to be in an era where a man can do pretty much anything he likes to a woman as long as he says it was about sex/bantz/his poor unfortunate inability to understand. Used to be that it was just some men who could get away with that in relation to women they "owned", now it's all of them with any woman.

LangCleg · 10/12/2018 13:57

The poor woman woke up the next day thinking she had had a stroke. She had no idea what he had done until she saw the cctv.

Exactly.

If that incident had been typical male-on-male violence and he'd punched out his male manager, who had hit his head on the fall and suffered facial paralysis, this bloke would have been serving a considerable sentence, let alone got the bloody sack.

Instead, it's typical male-on-female violence so nobody gives a fuck.

picklemebaubles · 10/12/2018 14:21

What did those people need to see before they realised they were employing a violent aggressive man who was assaulting their staff? It's not like that was subtle. I can't imagine not dealing with it at the time, I can't imagine seeing an employee with health and emotional consequences from that incident and not taking action. Shocking.

AngryAttackKittens · 10/12/2018 14:22

Makes you wonder what those management staff get up to at home, doesn't it?

picklemebaubles · 10/12/2018 14:25

It's got a trigger warning for graphic violence on the BBC site, for goodness sake. How could they have missed it? And he knew what he was doing. When her handbag slipped from her arm, it was clear she was passing out.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 10/12/2018 14:41

The owners clearly couldn't give a damn, but how about the law?
Anyone know why the police didn't prosecute him? I don't get how the system is supposed to work, I thought if you assaulted someone the police charged you?

ShowOfHands · 10/12/2018 14:42

That is chilling. It's a video of a woman being strangled. At no point does she reciprocate any "hug". She is struggling and then unconscious ffs. That poor woman.

BettyDuMonde · 10/12/2018 14:49

Fucking hell.

I hope he goes down for that. It’s so clearly deliberate, and then he pretends to be concerned about her when she fails and the other staff member comes to help.

I also hope she gets a huge payout from the tribunal and that magistrates remove the club’s license.

Men with so little regard for the safety of their staff clearly are not responsible enough to run a licensed premises.

picklemebaubles · 10/12/2018 14:56

I hope he goes to prison, and her managers get some kind of sentence for covering it up.

DeezMutts · 10/12/2018 15:06

It says in the final paragraph of the article:

“Speaking after the hearing, a spokeswoman for South Wales Police said: "A 33-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of assault and he is currently released under investigation."

CrookedMe · 10/12/2018 15:20

That is so disturbing. The Mail didn't show the length of his strangulation (it isn't a fucking hug)

Bowlofbabelfish · 10/12/2018 16:41

That is shocking. He is clearly pressing her neck. He needs to be charged and tried. Absolutely shocking. Poor woman

Wondermoomin · 10/12/2018 16:50

The directors who told her to "get over it" sound like they might be afraid of dealing properly with this man as well - that speaks volumes. Either that, or they see no issue with what he's done - again, that speaks volumes. Poor woman. I wonder who else has suffered at this man's hands.

TheCountryGirl · 10/12/2018 17:00

Nathan Webb is one sick, twisted man. He should be locked away from women.

hipsterfun · 10/12/2018 17:22

it’s the fact that she didn’t know what had happened until she watched the CCTV back again and when she said this doesn’t look right

She probably has/had retrograde amnesia - seeing it happen when you had no idea at all would be horrifying. Between that and her colleagues’ appalling minimising, I’m not surprised she has PTSD.

LangCleg · 10/12/2018 17:46

it’s the fact that she didn’t know what had happened until she watched the CCTV back again and when she said this doesn’t look right

Like I say, if Nathan Webb had punched a male manager who lost consciousness and couldn't remember what had happened, nobody would be questioning the male manager. Nathan Webb would have been arrested, charged and, given the permanent nature of the injuries caused, would very likely now be languishing in prison.

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